Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Supportive friend: Expresses care and protection for loved ones, like wanting to shield friends from pain in “in the mood to shield my friends and loved ones from the pain of this world, hbu”, and celebrating friends’ birthdays in “Happy birthday @darthtjader the world is a better place with you in it!”.
- Self-aware humor: Uses self-deprecating and situational humor to process life, like “in true ‘i’m in my 30s now’ fashion i have sustained a headbanging related neck injury” and “sometimes one asks themselves do i relate to traits of autism? or am i a person with a very direct communication style living in the midwest”.
- Creative artist: Identifies as an artist and tattooer, gives art takes like “toxic artist trait: i hate it when people use the phrase ‘color way’”, and posts about tattooing clients in “pov: you’re tattooing @Mrs_Tom_Johnson”.
- Community-minded: Engages with local and online communities, referencing Bemidji and local culture in “i am a bemidji specific nepotism baby” and interacting frequently via quote tweets and shout-outs like “thank you @xmatthewbx i’m stoked o them!!!”.
- Open identity: Speaks candidly about gender and pronouns, as in “it’s national coming out day... i’m non binary/genderfluid” and “i do not consider myself a woman, not even internationally”, signaling honesty and self-acceptance.
Weaknesses:
- Health neglect: Talks about serious health concerns like hysterectomy and lack of insurance in “lol not me googling the cost of a hysterectomy with no insurance” and “sanford tried to charge me $430 for a fucking step test, it is rough out here (i do not have insurance)”, suggesting difficulty accessing or prioritizing care.
- Stress overload: Frequently references being overwhelmed or exhausted, such as “me after this week”, “screaming crying throwing up”, and frustration with tax season and depression in “why do tax season and seasonal depression season coincide?”.
- Housing frustration: Expresses ongoing dissatisfaction with living situation, like “i can’t wait to not live in this house anymore” and frustration with the housing market in “we looked at a house yesterday... It sold in 2017 for 95k. just saying”, indicating environmental stress and instability.
- Cynical outlook: Shows a jaded tone toward institutions and platforms, as in “netflix, your empire is crumbling and this is the reason”, “hilarious that people are going to tumblr as a twitter alternative”, and calling Joe Rogan a dweeb in “joe rogan is a dweeb”.
- Emotional burnout: Mentions seasonal depression, covid fatigue, and general life burnout, like “idk who needs to hear this but… don’t get covid, it feels bad” and “is something retrograding? what kinda planetary bullshit can I blame for how life is going right now”, suggesting emotional drain and limited bandwidth.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
They come across as thoughtful, idealistic, and a bit neurotic in a self-aware way, which fits Lisa best among the main characters. Like Lisa, they balance caring deeply about others with a wry, sometimes existential humor, as in wanting to protect loved ones from the world’s pain: “in the mood to shield my friends and loved ones from the pain of this world, hbu”. Their nonbinary/genderfluid identity and direct commentary on gender and body autonomy echo Lisa’s canonically progressive, questioning nature: “i do not consider myself a woman, not even internationally” and “lol not me googling the cost of a hysterectomy with no insurance”. They also show nerdy/artsy focus and overthinking—tattooing, complaining about "color way," and going deep on niche media—which lines up with Lisa’s perfectionism and artistic/intellectual streak: “toxic artist trait: i hate it when people use the phrase ‘color way’”. Even their mix of earnestness and cranky social critique (on housing, healthcare, covid, and streaming services) feels very Lisa-with-a-Twitter-account: “sanford tried to charge me $430 for a fucking step test, it is rough out here (i do not have insurance)”.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They lean Introvert (I): their social references are low-key or exhausting rather than energizing, like describing parties as draining in “me at every party i attended from the ages 19 24” and joking about not wanting to text in “i’m a libra and i can’t hold a text convo to save my life don’t text me”. Their self-concept is strongly identity- and meaning-focused, suggesting Intuition (N), shown in big-picture, existential musings such as “sometimes one asks themselves do i relate to traits of autism? or am i a person with a very direct communication style living in the midwest” and whimsical, surreal ideas like “I don’t have a mind palace but I do have a random apartment I go to in my dreams. The ‘forgotten apartment’”. They clearly favor Feeling (F): they center emotions, relationships, and care—e.g., “in the mood to shield my friends and loved ones from the pain of this world, hbu”, their coming-out as nonbinary in “coming out online is so much easier… i’m non binary/genderfluid”, and affection for friends and spouse in “i love!! my friends!!!!” and “we had a business meeting and are now legal spouses”. Finally, they read as Perceiving (P): they joke about chaos and lack of control rather than rigid planning, like “is something retrograding? what kinda planetary bullshit can I blame for how life is going right now”, complain about external systems like healthcare and housing in “sanford tried to charge me $430 for a fucking step test, it is rough out here (i do not have insurance)” and “we looked at a house yesterday… just saying”, and show a spontaneous, humorous approach to life such as “yesterday i did a real life uno reverse and jumped out and yelled surprise at my own surprise party”. Altogether, their introspective, values-driven, whimsical, and somewhat chaotic vibe best fits INFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- If you’re a “northwoods cryptid,” does booking a tattoo with you count as my official cryptid sighting, or do I need to bring Cane’s sauce as an offering first?
- You’re in your hard boiled egg era, I’m in my homemade Cane’s sauce era… together we could be the deluxe deviled egg collab you were licking out of the bowl in 2022.
- Spotify may think you belong in Boulder and you’re a Bemidji-specific nepotism baby, but I’m pretty sure the Venn diagram of ‘places you live’ and ‘places I wanna take you on a socks-with-sandals date’ is just a circle.
- You said you’re in the mood to shield your friends from the pain of this world—if you ever need a co-tank in that fancy-restaurant-fish-tank comeback, I volunteer as your emotional bubble castle.
- As a nonbinary, northwoods cryptid tattooer who hates the phrase ‘color way’ and boycotts Inktober, you’re clearly chaotic good—mind if I be the black squirrel number five in your yard and just start hanging around?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Tattoo artist + northwoods gremlin. Once injured my neck headbanging and my toes via horse. Nonbinary (she/they). Sunscreen, socks & sandals evangelist.– @d33rbones
Your signature cocktail
Northwoods Cryptid Spritz
This is a bright, non-alcoholic spritz because they openly say “alcohol makes any drink taste worse automatically”, so the base is sparkling citrus: energetic, refreshing, and a little chaotic, like a headbanging tattooer who still ends up with a neck injury. The cane’s-style sauce syrup nods to their food goblin joy and specific obsessions like “just thinking bout the caines sauce” and “pretty proud of myself for nailing the homemade cane’s sauce”, adding a weirdly perfect savory-sweet depth that shouldn’t work but absolutely does. A hard-boiled egg white foam crowns the drink, honoring their “hard boiled egg era” and giving a soft, protective layer—like their urge to “shield my friends and loved ones from the pain of this world”. Pine and herb bitters evoke their “northwoods cryptid” forest vibe from the bio and their Minnesota life, adding a mysterious, witch-in-the-woods edge that suits someone who complains about “christmasification of halloween” yet fully leans into spooky-season energy. The activated charcoal sugar rim is the cryptid aesthetic made literal—dark, slightly messy, and dramatic, like someone who will boycott Inktober, ask “why haven’t we been back to the moon. i’m serious”, and still show up on your timeline as the local tattooer reminding you to “wear sunscreen on long drives”.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
Their tweets consistently center on care, loyalty, and everyday kindness, which are core Hufflepuff traits. They show a strong desire to protect and nurture others, e.g. saying they’re “in the mood to shield my friends and loved ones from the pain of this world” “in the mood to shield my friends and loved ones from the pain of this world, hbu”. They express deep affection and appreciation for friends and partners, such as “i love!! my friends!!!!” “i love!! my friends!!!!” and “we had a business meeting and are now legal spouses” which they share in a warm, low-key way rather than bragging “we had a business meeting and are now legal spouses (actual wedding still to come)”. Their work ethic also shows up in their tattooing and business posts, like being frustrated when Instagram goes down right after posting booking info because they are “trying to do business here” “i JUST posted a bunch of booking info and of course instagram goes down at the same time, extremely rude i am trying to do business here” and reminding people to wear sunscreen as a “friendly local tattooer” “this is your friendly local tattooer here to remind you to wear sunscreen on long drives”. Even their humor leans toward gentle fairness and care (complaining about medical costs and lack of insurance, or bad landlords and rental companies) which reflects a grounded, justice-oriented, Hufflepuff sensibility rather than ambition or showy heroics.
Your movie
Your song
Ribs - Lorde
Lorde’s Ribs fits them because it balances bittersweet nostalgia, adult fatigue, and deep affection for friends, all of which show up constantly in their timeline. They joke about getting older and more fragile, like being in their “hard boiled egg era” and sustaining a “headbanging related neck injury”, which echoes the song’s anxious awareness of growing up. There’s a strong protective softness in their posts, like being “in the mood to shield my friends and loved ones from the pain of this world” “in the mood to shield my friends and loved ones from the pain of this world, hbu” and declaring “i love!! my friends!!!!” “i love!! my friends!!!!”, mirroring the song’s desperate desire to hold onto the people you love. Their self-described “northwoods cryptid” vibe and nonbinary coming out “i’m non binary/genderfluid” also fit the track’s feeling of being slightly out of step with the world while still craving connection. Overall, Ribs captures their mix of sarcasm, tenderness, and quietly existential millennial/early-30s energy.
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