Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Humorous: Uses dark, self-deprecating jokes to cope, e.g. celebrating a scam in bio and posts like “i deeel like bomiting lmao”.
- Emotionally honest: Openly shares feelings about self-harm, jealousy, and loneliness, like “i really just wanr to have someone that loves me”.
- Affectionate: Shows attachment and care toward girlfriend and online ‘family’, e.g. “i have to buy her something for valentines”.
- Self-aware: Reflects on own behavior, like reconsidering reactions in “tbh now that i think of it i was rlly overreacting”.
- Community-oriented: Engages with shtwt community and friends, sharing interaction circles and family trees, e.g. “My Twitter Family”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-destructive: Frequent self-harm and suicidality references such as “GUESS WHO FINALLY CUTTED THEIR ARMS!!!!!!!” and “im seriously about to plan my next atrempt”.
- Disordered eating: Talks about fasting, binging, and purging, e.g. “PARENTS GOING OUT I CAN BINGE AND PURGE IT ALL FUCK YEAH” and “had to break my fast bc my mom said that i look pale”.
- Substance misuse: Uses or idealizes alcohol, vaping, and cigarettes, e.g. “i used to think ghat getting drunk alone is super weird… now i just got seunk” and “craving a cig rn. can someone buy me cigs.”.
- Relationship insecurity: Tests and ghosts partner for reassurance, e.g. “my episodes r more of a test on my partners to see if they notice” and “time to ghost her again”.
- Harsh judgment: Speaks very harshly about others, such as “i think one of my friends is gonna commit suicide... but idc bc hes annoying”, showing low empathy in that moment.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
The user most closely resembles Bart Simpson: rebellious, impulsive, often self-destructive, and constantly clashing with authority. Like Bart’s mix of dark humor and acting out, they joke about harmful behavior and death, for example saying they’re “about to plan my next atrempt” in “im seriously about to plan my next atrempt and i hope i will finally end up in a hospital so wveryone will regret not giving a single fuck abt me” and casually posting “kills myself”. Their defiance toward parents and rules mirrors Bart’s attitude, like complaining that their parents make them put down their phone at 10pm in “my fuckass parents keep having this weird obsession with making me pit down my phone everyday at 10pm and go to sleep no i wont do that fucj u” and celebrating chances to binge and purge when parents are gone in “PARENTS GOING OUT I CAN BINGE AND PURGE IT ALL FUCK YEAH”. They also show a chaotic, prankish side—getting drunk, vaping, skipping responsibilities, and treating serious issues with flippant humor as in “i used to think ghat getting drunk alone is super weird and depressing but now i just got seunk and i think its pretty cool yk” and “craving a cig rn. can someone buy me cigs.”. At the same time, under the bravado there’s clear emotional pain and a desire to be noticed and loved, similar to Bart’s hidden vulnerability, expressed in tweets like “i really just wanr to have someone that loves me” and feeling ignored by their girlfriend in “gf was supposed to call me but i tuess she forgot thats okay im not even that important to be remembered”.
Your MBTI personality Type
ISFP
They lean Introvert (I): most activities are solitary or online (gaming, binge-watching, cutting, purging), and their distress centers on feeling unnoticed rather than craving big social scenes, e.g. checking Instagram just to have a reason to relapse in “constantly checking my instagram to see if she posted some shit with her friends so i have a reason to cry and relapse” and wanting irls to notice them only through visible scars in “i still have si much space to cut on bruh i think im gonna switch to my arms soon so maybe some of my irls will finally check up in me”. They favor Sensing (S), focusing heavily on concrete, bodily experiences—vomiting, cutting, smoking, vaping, fasting, and physical sensations—like “just vomited so much to the point some of m ysnot came ojt lol” and “biting into my broken finger so i can feel something😂😂😂😂😂😂 this is how it looks like btw”, rather than abstract theories. Their decisions and reactions are clearly Feeling (F)-driven, focused on emotions, validation, and relationships—for example, testing others’ care in “my episodes r more of a test on my partners to see if they notice that im not ok and they always fail that test” and spiraling over being forgotten in “gf was supposed to call me but i tuess she forgot thats okay im not even that important to be remembered”. They come across as strongly Perceiving (P): impulsive, chaotic, and living in the moment—deciding to drink, cut, or binge–purge on the fly, like “i trhink im gonna drink just a bit more but thats after i cut myself” and “PARENTS GOING OUT I CAN BINGE AND PURGE IT ALL FUCK YEAH”—with little evidence of structured planning or long-term organization. Altogether, the combination of inward emotional turmoil, concrete sensory focus, highly affective reactions, and spontaneous behavior fits ISFP best for @daliasrealwife.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said you fell for a scam in your bio, but honestly, if loving Milgram marathons and shtwt memes is a scam, I kinda hope I’m your next victim.
- You: ‘PARENTS GOING OUT I CAN BINGE AND PURGE IT ALL FUCK YEAH.’ Me: parents going out so I can binge Milgram analysis with you and purge all our braincells together instead.
- You got 200 followers in two months and called it heaven; imagine how over the moon I’d be if I could be the reason you tweet ‘201… I think I’m actually happy for once.’
- You’re here asking how to convince your mom to buy you a scale while I’m over here trying to convince you to measure something else: exactly how many all‑nighters we could pull just talking about life instead of cutting and crying.
- You verified your age on Twitter with that photo and I’m just wondering—what do I have to verify to apply for the position of ‘the one who notices you’re not okay before you start tweeting about biting your broken finger again?’
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Polish teen chronicling school chaos, mental health storms & too much caffeine. Once verified my age with the worst possible photo choice.– @daliasrealwife
Your signature cocktail
The Binge & Bleed Daliaquiri
This cocktail starts with vodka straight from the bottle for their chaotic solo drinking nights, inspired by “i used to think ghat getting drunk alone is super weird and depressing but now i just got seunk and i think its pretty cool yk” and “zly pomysl zeby pic wodke z gwinta”. Grapefruit and lemon add a sharp, sour hit for their bitter relationship drama and self-deprecation, like “gf was supposed to call me but i tuess she forgot thats okay im not even that important to be remembered” and “my episodes r more of a test on my partners to see if they notice that im not ok and they always fail that test”. A splash of salty pickle brine represents the nausea, purging and general physical chaos of their days, echoing “just vomited so much to the point some of m ysnot came ojt lol” and “gosh i feel like vomiting stop it i already vomited 2 times today”. The raspberry syrup drizzle stands in for the thin red line of self-harm and hidden pain, taken from “GUESS WHO FINALLY CUTTED THEIR ARMS!!!!!!!” and “laying on the bathroom floro while bleeding”. Finally, a fizzy energy drink topper captures their jittery, all-nighter, shtwt energy, as seen in “gonna pull an all nighter so i can study and relapse” and the unhinged momentum of “PARENTS GOING OUT I CAN BINGE AND PURGE IT ALL FUCK YEAH”. Strong, messy, half-sweet and half-sick, The Binge & Bleed Daliaquiri tastes like a night scrolling shtwt at 3am wondering if you should cry, cut, or just watch Milgram, as in “should i spend the night watching milgram”.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
They consistently show strong self-focused survival instincts and calculated tests of others, which fits Slytherin’s self‑preservation and emotional strategizing. For example, they frame their emotional episodes as deliberate partner tests: “my episodes r more of a test on my partners to see if they notice that im not ok and they always fail that test”, and they even consider making their self-harm visible to provoke a reaction from people around them: “i still have si much space to cut on bruh i think im gonna switch to my arms soon so maybe some of my irls will finally check up in me”. They also show opportunistic resourcefulness in using circumstances to get what they want, like planning to binge and purge when unsupervised: “PARENTS GOING OUT I CAN BINGE AND PURGE IT ALL FUCK YEAH”, or trying to leverage family to obtain tools for their habits: “guys how do i convince my mama to buy a scale”. Their attitude toward others’ suffering can be cold or dismissive, as seen in “i think one of my friends is gonna commit suicide... but idc bc hes annoying”, which suggests a prioritization of their own emotional world over empathy. While they do show vulnerability and longing for love in tweets like “i really just wanr to have someone that loves me”, the dominant pattern is using pain, relationships, and circumstances in a calculated way, aligning most closely with Slytherin traits.
Your movie
Your song
bury a friend - Billie Eilish
A well‑suited song for them is bury a friend by Billie Eilish, which captures intrusive self-destructive thoughts and feeling inhuman or unreal. They frequently talk about self-harm and wanting to die, like when they say “GUESS WHO FINALLY CUTTED THEIR ARMS!!!!!!!” and “im seriously about to plan my next atrempt and i hope i will finally end up in a hospital so wveryone will regret not giving a single fuck abt me”, echoing the song’s fixation on pain and self-destruction. The line in the song about "I wanna end me" fits their posts like “kills myself”. They also describe feeling detached from reality, for example “i dont feel real”, which aligns with the eerie, dissociative tone of the track. On top of that, their mix of dark humor and despair in tweets such as “biting into my broken finger so i can feel something😂😂😂😂😂😂 this is how it looks like btw” matches the song’s unsettling blend of vulnerability and morbidity.
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