Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Affectionate partner: Frequently expresses love and admiration for his wife/girlfriend, e.g. calling her his ideal type in “um tipo ideal? minha esposa” and posting about taking her breakfast in bed in “Leve café da manhã na cama pra sua namorada SIM.”.
- Animal lover: Shows strong care for cats and other animals, with multiple tweets about his many cats like “Minha casa tem 9, na da minha esposa 4!” and affectionately posting about Tiquinho in “Deem oi pro Tiquinho, o maior gato da casa”.
- Musically passionate: Demonstrates deep engagement with music, listing favorite artists in “If you see this drop your top 5 artists at the moment” and saying he’s “obcecado” with a band in “Eu sou obcecado por essa banda.”.
- Humorous self‑irony: Uses humor to talk about himself and life, like the self-rating in “honestly rate yourself” and joking about capitalism in “Amanhã, quinta e sexta trabalho, tomara que o capitalismo morra, ou eu morra antes”.
- Values transparency: States clearly that honesty and openness matter in relationships, e.g. “Falta de comunicação, sinceridade e se ficar me escondendo coisas Pra mim uma relação é transparência 100%”.
Weaknesses:
- Depressive mindset: Openly describes chronic suicidal thoughts and despair, as in “Amo ter depressão, mó gostoso sentir vontade de morrer 24h por dia” and “Não aguento mais ser eu e ser obrigado a viver essa merda”.
- Low self-esteem: Rates his looks and confidence as 0/10 in “honestly rate yourself” and often speaks harshly about himself across tweets.
- Work resentment: Shows strong hostility toward work and routine, e.g. “Amanhã, quinta e sexta trabalho, tomara que o capitalismo morra, ou eu morra antes” and celebrating doing “absolutamente nadAAA” on holidays in “FINALMENTE FERIADO PRA EU NÃO FAZER ABSOLUTAMENTE NADAAAA”.
- Financial frustration: Frequently complains about lack of money limiting enjoyment, as in “Não ter dinheiro me deixa puto, ainda mais em feriado, vsf” and asking help with travel in “Quero, me ajuda com a passagem 🥲”.
- Social withdrawal: Hints at limited interaction despite being online, like “Sim, só meme bom e não interajo com absolutamente ninguém”, and recounts awkward social encounters in “Sempre lembro do cara que virou meu 'amigo' e eu não ouvi UMA ÚNICA PALAVRA DELE, pq eu tava de fone”.
Your Simpsons character
Otto Mann
The user most closely matches Otto Mann, the metalhead, slightly chaotic but warm-hearted school bus driver. Like Otto, they are deeply into heavy music, listing bands like None, Watain, Thy Light, Mgła and describing themselves as “10% black metal” in “quantos % lucas vc é? 10% ganso 10% sapos 10% dança 10% tattoo 10% minha esposa 10% depressão 10% gatos 10% none 10% plantas góticas 10% black metal”. Their humor is irreverent and a bit dark, as seen in “Amo ter depressão, mó gostoso sentir vontade de morrer 24h por dia” and “Amanhã, quinta e sexta trabalho, tomara que o capitalismo morra, ou eu morra antes”, which fits Otto’s laid‑back, self-destructive slacker vibe. At the same time, they’re affectionate and loyal, constantly mentioning their wife and cats, such as “Tem gente que dá hate em mim e na minha esposa Mas tem esses queridíssimos que são uns amores 🖤🖤 adoramos vc tbm” and “Eu sei muito bem que meus gatos entendem quando falo com eles”, echoing Otto’s soft spot for friends and animals. Their love of loud music and making neighbors listen in “Com certeza meus vizinhos não gostam das minhas músicas e pra fazer eles começarem a gostar eu deixo bem alto, só música boa!” is exactly the kind of noisy, metal-obsessed energy Otto brings to Springfield.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They read as more introverted than extroverted: although they interact online, their focus is on inner states, music, and cats rather than constant socializing, and they frequently vent about feeling exhausted by life and people, e.g. “Amo ter depressão, mó gostoso sentir vontade de morrer 24h por dia” and “Não aguento mais ser eu e ser obrigado a viver essa merda”, which suggests a rich but overwhelmed inner world. Their interests and expression lean strongly intuitive: they’re obsessed with specific niche bands, black metal, and ‘gothic plants’, and describe themselves in conceptual, thematic chunks like “quantos % lucas vc é? 10% ganso… 10% depressão… 10% black metal” rather than listing concrete day‑to‑day details. They seem more feeling than thinking in how they prioritize relationships, authenticity, and emotional transparency over cold logic, e.g. “Falta de comunicação, sinceridade e se ficar me escondendo coisas Pra mim uma relação é transparência 100%” and repeated affection for their wife, friends, and cats. Their humor and life approach look more perceiving than judging: they complain about work and capitalism, roll with bad dreams and random events, and present themselves as spontaneous and chaotic (e.g. open relationship takes, hyperfocus on bands, and “Sim, só meme bom e não interajo com absolutamente ninguém”) rather than structured or rigidly planned. Overall, the introspective depression, romantic devotion to their spouse, love of niche art and music, and anti‑capitalist, go‑with‑the‑flow attitude align best with INFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said you’re 10% dance, 10% tattoos, 10% cats, 10% None and 10% your wife… can I at least apply to be in the ‘10% plants góticas’ so I can sit in your living room listening to black metal with you and the cats?
- You rated your looks 0/10 and confidence 0/10, but you’ve got Sartre, Will Graham, Better Call Saul, Abazagorath and black nail polish in the same timeline—statistically speaking, that’s at least a 100/10 in ‘exactly my type’.
- You: ‘I’d live on the cat island’ and ‘my house has 9, my wife’s has 4’. Me: perfect, that’s 13 cats, two weirdos, and one open spot on the couch for someone who brings coffee in bed and never complains about loud Watain.
- You joke about wanting the death of capitalism but still go to work at 17h… if you ever want to unionize against this system, I volunteer as the comrade who brings beer, None on the playlist, and kisses between shifts.
- Your top 5 is None, Watain, Thy Light, Istasha and Mgła, you love Only Lovers Left Alive and paint your nails black—if vampires were real, I’m pretty sure you’re the goth eternal I was supposed to spend my immortal depressive phase with.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
30 | black metal, cats & tattoos | professional goth who once saved a wasp from drowning and got stung for it | IG: @deadkruszynski · @dead.kz.tattoo– @deadkruszynski
Your signature cocktail
None More Black (Metal Mojito)
This strong but slightly sweet-and-bitter cocktail matches Lucas’ vibe of loving metal and darkness, like when he proudly lists bands: “None, Thy Light, Exiles from light, Abazagorath, ...And oceans, Totalselfhatred, Leviathan, Photophobia, Watain, Mgla, Forgotten tomb, Woods of desolation Acho que tá bão né”. The black spiced rum stands for his intense, depressive humor and desire to annihilate capitalism: “Amanhã, quinta e sexta trabalho, tomara que o capitalismo morra, ou eu morra antes” and “Amo ter depressão, mó gostoso sentir vontade de morrer 24h por dia”. Cold brew coffee channels his insomniac, overthinking brain that only dreams of disasters: “Quase nunca sonho, mas quando eu sonho é tipo só desgraça na minha vida, pqp obrigado cabeça por me proporcionar a cada bosta enquanto eu só quero descansar”. The charcoal-activated limeade brings a sharp, refreshing hit that represents how he’s loving and transparent in relationships: “Falta de comunicação, sinceridade e se ficar me escondendo coisas Pra mim uma relação é transparência 100%” and his devotion to his wife and cats: “quantos % lucas vc é? 10% dança 10% minha esposa 10% depressão 10% gatos 10% none 10% black metal”. The smoked chili bitters mirror his sarcastic, chaotic humor and loud music: “Com certeza meus vizinhos não gostam das minhas músicas e pra fazer eles começarem a gostar eu deixo bem alto, só música boa!”. Finally, the black sugar rim is his black matte nail polish aesthetic and goth cuteness: “Gosto de pintar azunha de preto fosco, o normal eu acho paia” and his soft side with gatos gigantes como o Tiquinho: “Deem oi pro Tiquinho, o maior gato da casa”.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
Lucas fits Hufflepuff best because of his strong emphasis on loyalty, affection, and everyday kindness. He repeatedly expresses clear devotion to his partner, calling her his ideal type and centerpiece of his personality in “um tipo ideal? minha esposa” and joking that he’s made of “10% minha esposa” in “quantos % lucas vc é? ... 10% minha esposa”, which shows deep relational loyalty. His love and care for animals, especially cats, is constant—from wanting to live on a cat island in “Eu ia viver na ilha dos gatos 💅🏻” to proudly introducing Tiquinho in “Deem oi pro Tiquinho, o maior gato da casa” and defending his wife’s tendency to adore every cat she sees in “A @7ossos se vê qualquer gato na rua”. He values fairness and transparency in relationships, saying that dealbreakers are lack of honesty and openness in “Falta de comunicação, sinceridade e se ficar me escondendo coisas Pra mim uma relação é transparência 100%”, which aligns strongly with Hufflepuff’s ethics. Even amid depression and frustration with capitalism or life in tweets like “Amo ter depressão, mó gostoso sentir vontade de morrer 24h por dia”, he still shows up for others—bringing his girlfriend breakfast in bed in “Leve café da manhã na cama pra sua namorada SIM.” and cherishing his friends as “uns amores” in “Mas tem esses queridíssimos que são uns amores 🖤🖤 adoramos vc tbm”. This mix of steadfast love, everyday caretaking, and a strong moral sense of how relationships should work is quintessentially Hufflepuff.
Your movie
Your song
None Shall Be Saved - None
A fitting song for them is None Shall Be Saved by None, since they openly describe themselves as "10% none" and put the band at the top of their current artists list in “If you see this drop your top 5 artists at the moment 1. None 2. Watain 3. Thy Light 4. Istasha 5. Mgla”. The bleak, depressive black metal atmosphere and themes of nihilism resonate with their posts about exhaustion with life and capitalism, like “Amanhã, quinta e sexta trabalho, tomara que o capitalismo morra, ou eu morra antes” and “Amo ter depressão, mó gostoso sentir vontade de morrer 24h por dia”. At the same time, they show a dark sense of humor and self-deprecation in “honestly rate yourself looks = 0/10… confidence = 0/10”, which fits the introspective, emotionally raw tone of the song. Their love of black metal and specifically depressive, atmospheric bands in “None, Thy Light, Exiles from light, Abazagorath, ...And oceans, Totalselfhatred, Leviathan, Photophobia, Watain, Mgla, Forgotten tomb, Woods of desolation Acho que tá bão né” makes None Shall Be Saved not just thematically appropriate, but also stylistically aligned with what they already obsess over. Overall, the song’s mix of despair, introspection, and cold aggression mirrors their timeline’s blend of mental health struggles, dark humor, and extreme music obsession.
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