Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Self-aware: They critically reflect on their own patterns, like acknowledging regaining weight and binge cycles in “im to blame bc i lost 10kgs in 2ish months then gained them back…”.
- Caring: They worry about others’ wellbeing, such as their underweight younger brother’s body image in “im worried about my (underweight) little (12yo) brother…” and supporting people who choose recovery in “im pro recovery if you wanna recover…”.
- Humorous: They use jokes and memes even in difficult contexts, like “do you guys think if we breathe out harder we’ll lose more?” and “who said edtwt cant cook? +alt”.
- Analytical: They do detailed calorie and maintenance math and question calculators in “so i did the math and found out my maintenance is around 2500…” and track deficits like in “my total deficit was literally 7701 calories…”.
- Persistent: They keep trying to “lock in” and adjust strategies instead of giving up, as in “i cracked the code actually and didn’t count cals for the first day… so i was able to truly lock in for the 2nd and 3rd” and planning long-term goals like “did we collectively set that our deadline is may??”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-hatred: They frequently express intense self-loathing, for example “DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE…” and “i hate myself my coworker said… ive been nauseous”.
- Suicidal_ideation: They repeatedly mention wanting to kill themself, like “took lax and had oats and still haven’t gone to the bathroom in like 4 days im gonna kms”, “mom bought gateaux im killing myself”, and “man my acc is so dead i wish i was too”.
- Disordered_eating: They display severe restriction, bingeing, obsession with calories and weight, and desire to purge, as in “i can feel my stomach digesting i feel so disgusting i wish i could purge”, “how do you deal with the headaches and dizziness from starving?”, and “i cant wait to omad 8 blueberry muffins (2.5k cal lol)”.
- Body_fixation: They are preoccupied with weight, BMI, and body parts, celebrating fast loss and specific numbers like “weighted myself finally i think i lost 3kg in 1 week who cheered”, “THAT MEANS IM BMI 28.6 WE’RE SO BACK”, and “i miss my hipbones”.
- All-or-nothing_thinking: They swing between extremes (starve vs binge, gym vs “rot”), evident in “i was supposed to only have the cupcake… now im at 1084 calories pls shoot me so i binged” and “im starting to feel like i don’t wanna go to the gym anymore i just wanna starve and rot”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Lisa fits best because she’s smart, analytical, and constantly overthinking, especially about numbers and ethics, much like this user obsessively calculating calories and deficits, as in “i have gained this last week even though my total deficit was literally 7701 calories (so i should’ve lost at least 1kg/2lb of fat alone)” and “so i did the math and found out my maintenance is around 2500 when im leading a sedentary lifestyle”. They show concern and protectiveness for others, similar to Lisa’s worry about Bart or Maggie, when they say “im worried about my (underweight) little (12yo) brother he’s calling himself fat and comparing himself to one of his skinnier friends…”. Like Lisa’s oscillation between idealism and despair, this user flips between self-improvement and self-loathing, e.g. “im starting to feel like i don’t wanna go to the gym anymore i just wanna starve and rot which is sad because i really like the gym and i wanted to build muscles too”. They’re self-aware and critical of their environment (and themselves), echoing Lisa’s cynical but thoughtful streak, shown in tweets like “the amount of times i see people tweeting ‘is x calories disordered?’ is sad” and “fr like… im pro recovery if you wanna recover i will encourage you… but when it’s about me and the space i wanna be in… that’s a completely different story”. The mix of humor, intensity, and a strong internal moral/emotional world aligns more with Lisa than with the more impulsive or oblivious traits of Homer or Bart.
Your MBTI personality Type
INTJ
They lean Introvert (I): they often describe solitary, internal experiences (bingeing, calorie counting, physical symptoms) rather than socializing, and even joke about their account’s lack of interaction, e.g. “man my acc is so dead i wish i was too”. Their focus on concrete metrics like calories, grams, and weight, such as “HOW THE FUCK is one meal 943 calories” and “so i did the math and found out my maintenance is around 2500”, points strongly to Sensing (S) over Intuition, yet they often systematize these details into broader personal strategies and rules for weight loss, which is typical of NT-style patterning. They show a clear Thinking (T) tendency via blunt, critical comments and analysis: for instance, calling a recipe “atrocious” in “pls dont try it or the brownies will turn out dry and crumbly asf” and dissecting a friend’s intake in “i asked him how many grams was that… dried fruits r highcal and he almost broke down” emphasize logical, calorie-based critique over emotional cushioning. Their need for structure and long-term planning reflects Judging (J): they talk about deadlines and strategy, like “did we collectively set that our deadline is may??” and building rules around non-counting days in “i cracked the code actually and didn’t count cals for the first day… so i was able to truly lock in for the 2nd and 3rd”. Taken together—private, analytical, goal-structured, and often emotionally detached in how they reason about food and their body—this fits best with INTJ as a likely MBTI type.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said black coffee is the blessing of being basically 0 calories — if we ever get coffee together, I promise I’ll be the high-value extra you don’t have to log in your tracker.
- You were shocked that one meal was 943 calories… but honestly, the real overload is how fast my heart rate spikes every time you casually drop a tweet about losing 3kg in a week and still manage to be funny about it.
- You’re out here proteinmaxxing with chicken breast and spinach soup, doing math on 7,701-cal deficits, and still worrying it’s ‘useless’—can I apply to be your reminder that you’re already ridiculously impressive, no calculator needed?
- You joked about OMAD-ing 8 blueberry muffins when you’re back home; I volunteer as tribute to split the muffins, the guilt, and the post-carb food coma with you like it’s our own cursed little date.
- You’re teaching your friend that 250g of pasta dry is crazy, worrying about your little brother calling himself fat, and still tracking every crumb you eat—if caring too much were a BMI, yours would be off the charts and I’d still gladly fall into that range with you.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
22 • coffee-fueled student with IBS and a spreadsheet for everything. Once reverse-engineered my own calorie burn for fun.– @deadoveviper
Your signature cocktail
The 22teen Black Coffee Crisis
This drink starts with a strong, no-nonsense espresso shot, channeling their love for black coffee and how they delight that it’s basically zero calories: “i love black coffee cuz i dont even count it in my tracker yet it tastes soooo good”. A drizzle of reduced-calorie hazelnut-chocolate syrup nods to their Nutella and sweets obsession, guilty but cherished: “3 toasts with nutella for breakfast (450c) but i haven’t had nutella since last july or something so im not even mad” and “mom bought gateaux im killing myself”. Spinach-infused simple syrup represents the strangely wholesome, protein-maxxing, spinach-soup side of them: “spinach soup n chicken breast was my second meal if anyone’s wondering” and “spinach 🤤”. A few drops of sea salt tincture add bitterness and sting for their self-directed anger and body-image pain: “i hate myself my coworker said ‘everything about you is bigger than mine’ ive been nauseous” and “i miss my hipbones”. Finally, a sparkling water topper brings a light, restless fizz that fits their anxious, hyper-aware calorie math and “22teen” energy: “how do you deal with the headaches and dizziness from starving? no i cant bedrot or lay down im 22 with a life unfortunately” and “my acc is so dead i wish i was too”.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
They show a strongly strategic, goal‑oriented mindset about weight and food that aligns with Slytherin’s ambition and resourcefulness. For example, they methodically calculate deficits and maintenance calories and judge results against those numbers, as in “i have gained this last week even though my total deficit was literally 7701 calories (so i should’ve lost at least 1kg/2lb of fat alone)” and “so i did the math and found out my maintenance is around 2500… anyone tried relying on your own math instead of the calculators?”. They also use small ‘hacks’ to game their own rules, like “i logged in the whole box of cookies along with today’s intake so when i eat a cookie tomorrow it’s technically zero calories im such a genius”, which is classic Slytherin-style cunning. Their fixation on specific goal weights and deadlines, e.g. “did we collectively set that our deadline is may??” and treating reaching a GW as an achievement to unlock rewards in “if i reach my first gw i’ll finally take care of this account and actually make my aesthetic and put intro + bio”, reflects ambition and long‑term plotting more than simple diligence. While they can be caring (e.g. worrying about their brother and girlfriend), the dominant traits across the account are calculated self‑preservation, goal‑driven behavior, and a willingness to bend rules for those goals, which fit Slytherin best.
Your movie
Your song
Bury a friend - Billie Eilish
A well-fitting song for @deadoveviper is “Bury a friend” by Billie Eilish, which captures a mix of self-destructive thoughts, dark humor, and feeling haunted by your own mind. They repeatedly express intense self-hatred and suicidal ideation, like “man my acc is so dead i wish i was too”, “want to kms i have binge urges that are SO bad rn”, and “mom bought gateaux im killing myself”, echoing the song’s themes of wanting to disappear and being a threat to oneself. The track’s eerie, clinical references to the body mirror their obsessive focus on calories, weight, and physical pain, like “HOW THE FUCK is one meal 943 calories” and “i can feel my stomach digesting i feel so disgusting i wish i could purge”. The song also has a detached, almost sarcastic tone about suffering that matches tweets such as “who said edtwt cant cook? +alt”, where they joke around inside a very unhealthy context. Overall, Bury a friend reflects their combination of despair, dark wit, and feeling trapped inside a hostile body and mind.
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