Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Self‑aware: Openly notices patterns like long‑term calorie tracking and binge cycles, e.g. “I’ve actively been tracking my cals for almost 10 YEARS I’m so tired” and “Been in a binge cycle for almost a whole entire /year/ I’m disgusting”.
- Goal‑oriented: Sets clear weight and timeline goals, such as “New goal: 136lbs by the end of June next year Possible? Maybe.” and “IF I STICK TO MY PLAN I CAN BE 105 BY THE END OF APRIL NEXT YEAR”.
- Hard‑working: Works long hours and still pushes themselves, as in “Working 40 50 hours a week, busting my ass just to get passed over for a promotion?”.
- Caring: Shows concern for their dog’s wellbeing, e.g. “I need to make an effort to take my dog out more because she’s starting to destroy my stuff while I’m asleep :/” and worries when the dog gets hurt in “my dog got so excited she’s sprained her tail :(”.
- Persistent: Keeps returning to plans, tracking, gym classes, and step goals despite setbacks, like “Planned my cals until the end of the year” and “Going to start going to the gym more in January, and going to classes almost every day”.
Weaknesses:
- Disordered‑eating: Repeatedly endorses extreme restriction and self‑harmful goals around food and weight, e.g. “I wanna starve until Christmas but it’s just not feasible 😭” and “I just wanna be fucking deathly thin I don’t care anymore”.
- Self‑loathing: Uses harsh, dehumanising language about themselves, such as “I’m actually fucking disgusting” and “I’m disgusting I need to ⭐️ve”.
- Suicidal‑thinking: Frequently references wanting to die or harm themselves, like “time to km$” and “Everything is going /wrong/ I want to ⭐️ve to d34th fuck life”.
- Obsessive‑tracking: Shows fixation on numbers, spreadsheets, and daily data, e.g. “So I have a spreadsheet… it’s literally my daily calories/weights and it’s full of numbers and graphs and formulas” and “The fact I’ve been calorie counting every day for the last 12 years is sad”.
- Emotional‑instability: Experiences intense swings tied to relationships and stress, like “Me and my partner are ‘trialling’ being just friends… I want to fucking tear myself to shreds” and “I’m honestly so lonely rn my chest is aching”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
They most closely match Lisa Simpson: highly self-analytical, driven by numbers and goals, but also incredibly hard on themselves. Like Lisa obsessing over grades and self-worth, this user meticulously tracks calories and weight, even saying they’ve been “calorie counting every day for the last 12 years” in “The fact I’ve been calorie counting every day for the last 12 years is sad” and keeping a detailed spreadsheet in “it’s literally my daily calories/weights and it’s full of numbers and graphs and formulas”. There’s also a deep loneliness and emotional sensitivity, similar to Lisa’s frequent episodes of feeling misunderstood and isolated, reflected in “I’m honestly so lonely rn my chest is aching” and “God this loneliness feels like a fucking blackhole in my chest”. Their perfectionism and constant feeling of not being “enough” echo Lisa’s harsh inner critic, seen in lines like “I’m disgusting I need to ⭐️ve” and “I’ve had an ED for nearly 10 years and all I’ve done is gain 😭”. Even their long struggle to get an autism assessment in “Been rejected for an autism assessment time to km$” parallels Lisa’s recurring theme of feeling different from everyone around her and desperate to understand why.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFJ
They read as an introvert (I): their life revolves around solitary routines (tracking calories, spreadsheets, solo gym, walking the dog) and they repeatedly describe feeling isolated and aching with loneliness, e.g. “I’m honestly so lonely rn my chest is aching” and “God this loneliness feels like a fucking blackhole in my chest”, which suggests a rich inner world but limited social outlet. Their focus shows intuition (N) over pure sensing: even when mentioning concrete numbers and calories, they quickly jump to big-picture meanings and futures, like “New goal: 136lbs by the end of June next year Possible? Maybe.” and “IF I STICK TO MY PLAN I CAN BE 105 BY THE END OF APRIL NEXT YEAR”, framing everything around an imagined ideal self rather than just present facts. They lean feeling (F): their tweets are raw, emotional, and relationship-focused—“Me and my partner are ‘trialling’ being just friends… I want to fucking tear myself to shreds” and “Been rejected for an autism assessment time to km$” show decisions and reactions driven by hurt and self-worth more than detached logic. Finally, they are strongly judging (J): they obsessively plan, structure, and monitor, as seen in “So I have a spreadsheet… it’s literally my daily calories/weights and it’s full of numbers and graphs and formulas” and “Planned my cals until the end of the year, have to stick to them”, plus rigid goal deadlines like “Aiming to be around 150lbs by the end of the year”. Taken together—deep emotional intensity, future-focused idealism, inner conflict, and strict planning—INFJ is the closest-fitting MBTI type.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said on 2023-09-30 you’re torn between being deathly skinny and absolutely jacked — how about we compromise and just be emotionally jacked together while we share snacks and trauma-dump like functional-ish adults?
- You’ve been calorie counting for 12 years (2025-11-19) and keeping spreadsheets since 2021 (2023-07-23) — statistically speaking, what are the odds I could become your favourite recurring data point?
- You hate the updated Fitbit app (2023-09-22), but if we synced our Social Steps (2026-01-22) we could at least compete on who burns more calories overthinking our texts to each other.
- You said your chest aches from loneliness (2023-09-12) and that it feels like a black hole sometimes (2025-11-29) — if you’re okay with it, I’d like to be the annoying star that keeps orbiting you anyway.
- You deleted your food delivery apps for a fresh start (2023-01-30), but if you ever re-download them, I volunteer as tribute to be your designated picnic date test subject for all future snack experiments.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
26 • he/him • dog parent, data+steps nerd, calorie spreadsheet historian 📊 • once fell in mud, cried, then bought better walking shoes– @deathnmorphine
Your signature cocktail
The Lonely Step Counter Highball
This drink hits hard and fast with overproof dark rum, echoing the intensity of wanting to be “deathly thin” and the all-or-nothing mindset in “I wanna starve until Christmas but it’s just not feasible 😭”. Cloudy apple juice nods to their oddly tender love for small comforts and hyperfixations, like “I fucking love apple juice but why is it nearly 500 cals per litre 😭😭”. Green tea syrup references their perpetual ‘new start’ energy in “Need to start drinking green tea again tbh”, adding a restrained sweetness that feels like hope on a good day of tracking. Sharp lemon juice cuts through like their self-critical spirals in “I’m disgusting I need to ⭐️ve” and “Time to get serious I’m actually fucking disgusting”, giving the drink an acidic, restless edge. Finally, a few drops of sea salt tincture honour the constant ache of isolation in “I’m honestly so lonely rn my chest is aching” and the need for connection behind “Please add me to your Social Steps”, leaving a lingering, addictive finish that keeps you coming back for one more sip.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
Blake shows a highly analytical, numbers-driven mindset that aligns strongly with Ravenclaw traits. They meticulously track calories, weight, and progress over long periods, as seen when they say they’ve been calorie counting for 12 years in “The fact I’ve been calorie counting every day for the last 12 years is sad” and describe a massive spreadsheet of daily calories, weights, numbers, graphs, and formulas in “it’s full of numbers and graphs and formulas but I can’t talk about it with anyone IRL because it’s actually obsessive”. They also create long-term, quantified plans and projections, such as in “Planned my cals until the end of the year, have to stick to them to be under 200lbs for new year” and “New goal: 136lbs by the end of June next year Possible? Maybe.”, which shows a rational, goal-calculating approach rather than purely impulsive behavior. Even when they are excited, they frame things in terms of feasibility and numbers, like “IF I STICK TO MY PLAN I CAN BE 105 BY THE END OF APRIL NEXT YEAR”. While there is clear emotional distress and ambition, the dominant pattern is obsessive data analysis, structured planning, and a kind of intellectualized approach to their situation, all of which fit Ravenclaw better than the other houses.
Your movie
Your song
Breathe Me - Sia
A well-suited song is Breathe Me by Sia, because its themes of self-destruction, loneliness, and wanting to be saved mirror Blake's ongoing struggles with body image and mental health. The song’s repeated plea of “hurt myself again today” fits with tweets like “Been rejected for an autism assessment time to km$” and “Everything is going /wrong/ I want to ⭐️ve to d34th fuck life”, where they openly express self-destructive urges. The loneliness and emotional emptiness in the song align with posts such as “I’m honestly so lonely rn my chest is aching” and “God this loneliness feels like a fucking blackhole in my chest”. Their long-term fixation on restriction and control—seen in “The fact I’ve been calorie counting every day for the last 12 years is sad” and “I’ve actively been tracking my cals for almost 10 YEARS I’m so tired”—mirrors the song’s fragile, exhausted plea for help. Overall, Breathe Me captures both the quiet despair and the desperate wish for someone to hold them together that runs through Blake’s timeline.
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