DEEP_RED_BELLS
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In a relationship:
Best friend:
Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Observant: He notices tiny cultural details — from gas station breakfasts to pawn shops — exemplified by 'Guy in his 50s at the gas station buying Hunt Brothers Pizza...' and many candid photographic posts.
- Resourceful: Hunting eBay bargains and pawn-shop finds like 'Beautiful 7$ ebay purchase' and 'Found a truly insane jacket on ebay' shows he makes the most of secondhand treasure hunting.
- Aesthetic‑Driven: His frequent film notes 'Some old pics on 1.6 ISO kodak 2254' and lens chatter 'I like this lens but it has the most flare' reveal a refined visual sensibility.
- Straightforward: He says what he thinks bluntly — e.g., 'Black Crowes now that's one of the worst fucking bands ever' — with little sugarcoating.
- Loyal to Small Pleasures: Enjoyment of simple rituals — 'Purchased six pairs of wool socks for 14 dollars' and 'It's a winter wonder land' — shows a steady appreciation for modest comforts.
Weaknesses:
- Cynical: Repeated snark and biting takes like 'People who smoke weed at the bar should be treated the same as guys who put on trench coats and flash people' can alienate people and shut down nuance.
- Abrupt: Short, harsh lines such as 'You Need To Die Man You Gotta End Your Life My Dude' reveal a tendency toward extreme, shocking phrasing that can read as hostile.
- Nostalgia‑bound: He leans heavily on past formats and analog media ('Kodak vision3', '1.6 ISO kodak 2254'), which can make him resistant to new ways of doing things.
- Judgmental: Quick moral verdicts about people ('You can't call a dive bar... 'the club'') show a low tolerance for behavior he disdains, potentially closing off empathy.
- Self‑medicating: References to binge drinking, multi‑day hangovers and stimulant use — 'Nightmares about the same person two nights in a row = my brain is cruising for a punishment (binge drinking and stimulant abuse)' — suggest coping habits that cause trouble.
Your Simpsons character
Moe Szyslak
Moe is the gruff, world‑weary barkeep who knows every small‑town character, runs a dive bar, and offers blunt, often dark humor — that mirrors Dakota's love of dive‑bar culture, his candid bar observations, and his cranky-but-attentive eye for people. Dakota's repeated snapshots of gas‑station oddities, bar breakfasts and small business weekend vibes line up with Moe's intimate knowledge of local regulars and the kind of dry, low‑brow wit Moe uses to describe them.
Your MBTI personality Type
ISTP
ISTP fits Dakota: he demonstrates introverted, hands‑on, sensory attention and pragmatic thinking. Introversion shows in his workmanlike chronicling of the world rather than performative broadcasting — lots of photos and captions like 'Some misc stuff from that amber d400 roll' rather than personal confession. Sensing appears in the concrete detail orientation: gas stations, lenses, brands and physical objects ('I chud out every time a public restroom has those shitty hand dryers'). Thinking emerges through blunt assessments and critiques ('Black Crowes now that's one of the worst fucking bands ever'), and perceiving shows itself in his willingness to accept spontaneous 'side quests' and roaming: 'Accepting every side quest you possibly can in real life is fun'. Altogether, the mix of tool‑and‑gear focus, calm risk appetite (guns/video‑game daydreams), and dry commentary point to ISTP.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a Kodak roll? Because I want to slow down time and develop every frame of you.
- I could give you my wool socks — but I'd rather warm your hands with coffee and a laugh while we listen to that SiriusXM French station.
- You must be an eBay listing, because I just found the exact jacket I've been looking for my whole life.
- Want to cruise in my Ford Focus and let one album tell our whole story? I promise it's vintage and slightly flared.
- If you were a lens you'd be my favorite flare — distracting, beautiful, and totally worth the light leak.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Dakota — film photographer, music nerd, small‑town chronicler. I collect weird eBay jackets, wool socks, and moments on Kodak. Opinions loud, patience short. Photos + riffs > hot takes. Can U Taste The Waste? (yes).– @DEEP_RED_BELLS
Your signature cocktail
The Amber D400
The 'Amber D400' nods to his film talk ('amber d400') and taste for warm, slightly bitter Americana. Bourbon is honest and rugged like his small‑town observations, coffee liqueur references late shifts and sleepless nights ('Halfway into my 2nd shift of the day...'), and smoked bitters give that filmic, slightly flared edge he loves ('I like this lens but it has the most flare I have seen in my life'). It's a drink you sip slowly while scrolling film scans and cursing a bad band.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
Dakota fits Hufflepuff more than the flashy houses: he's grounded, loyal to small pleasures and community rituals, and hardworking in his craft of film photography. He defends practical values like sensible driving ('Not just because driving safely is cool, because it's the right thing to do') and champions small businesses ('Bro Get Out Here It's Small Business Saturday'), which aligns with Hufflepuff's ethos of steady, honest work. His social humor and tolerance for real people in real places — a fondness for pawn shops, gas‑station characters, and wool socks — points to quiet loyalty rather than ambition or showmanship.
Your movie
Your song
Working Class Hero - John Lennon
Lennon's stripped, critical look at class and small‑town life suits Dakota's voice: he notes American oddities and working‑class rituals like 'Guy in his 50s at the gas station buying Hunt Brothers Pizza and a tall boy of Modelo for breakfast' and favors everyday, gritty pleasures (wool socks, cheap pizza). The song's quiet disdain for pretense matches his disdain for performative culture and his affection for honest, simple things.
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