Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Passionate fan: Shows deep emotional investment in Santos and football, e.g. multiple match reactions like “Santos joga futebol mais feio que bater em mãe” and detailed comments on players.
- Self‑aware: Reflects on personal growth and past behavior, e.g. “pensar que 3 anos atrás eu tava chorando por tudo que é canto e hoje eu to na USP é amedontrador” and “pqp eu tenho uns storys arquivados mt bizarros, eu era mt virjola”.
- Hardworking: Proudly highlights academic achievements like “Sei la eu meio que sou muito foda PASSEI NA USP CARALHO” and anxiety around results in “dia 23 ou eu serei declarado o maior goat da história da etecaf”.
- Grateful: Expresses appreciation for opportunities and experiences, such as traveling via Etec in “Só que eu fui de graça pela Etec Minha vida é maravilhosa” and loving friends in “Pqp eu amo meus amigos eu amo beber eu amo ser feliz”.
- Critical thinker: Builds arguments on football and culture instead of only rage, e.g. explaining a foul in “a falta foi inexistente, mas vcs tem que entender que deixar o pé no local da passada do atacante desequilibra e é falta sim” and criticizing content creators’ motives in “eles criticam pra parasitar o público e vender um projeto pessoal tosco”.
Weaknesses:
- Verbal aggression: Frequently uses violent language toward players and others, e.g. “MATA O GABRIEL MENINO IMBECIL”, “Tem que matar o Schmidt”, and “Alguém MATA o Zé Ivaldo, ESTRANGULA esse arrombado”.
- Impulsivity: Posts intense reactions in the heat of the moment, then later walks things back, as in “Retiro TUDO o que eu disse” after earlier strong opinions on the same topic.
- Harsh insults: Regularly dehumanizes targets with terms like “bosta”, “ameba” and “arrombado”, e.g. “Olha esse BOSTA do Alexis Duarte” and “Olha o bosta do volante de vcs leão de série B”.
- Negativity bias: Focuses heavily on worst‑case scenarios and frustration with his team, e.g. “Vai ser um ano longo torcedor” and “De verdade, é o ano que eu menos sinto algo pelo Santos… tenho ctz que não ganha NADA”.
- Hostile tone: Directs hostility even at public figures and audiences, e.g. “Vai tomar no seu cu casimiro” and “Eu espero que cada um de vcs botando nikolas ferreira na minha tml se foda muito na vida”.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
This user lines up most with Bart Simpson: loud, irreverent, and constantly talking trash, especially about football and rivals, like when they say “Vai tomar no seu cu casimiro” and “Escobar e Lautaro são piores que um homicídio seguido de suicidio”. There’s a clear taste for over-the-top, borderline-violent exaggeration for humor, seen in posts like “Alguém MATA o Zé Ivaldo, ESTRANGULA esse arrombado” and “Tem que matar o Schmidt”, which fits Bart’s chaotic, prankster energy more than any other main character. At the same time, like Bart, they show unexpected depth and pride when talking about their own life, such as “pensar que 3 anos atrás eu tava chorando por tudo que é canto e hoje eu to na USP” and “Sei la eu meio que sou muito foda PASSEI NA USP CARALHO”. Their bio, “make ‘em disappear, call me wizard.”, and jokes about injury like “quando você é tão fã de futebol que rompe seu joelho só pra passar pela experiência de ficar lesionado” mirror Bart’s tendency to turn even pain and trouble into a bit. Overall, they mix chaos, gallows humor, sports obsession, and flashes of sincerity in a way that strongly evokes Bart rather than the more responsible or introspective Simpsons characters.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENTP
They lean Extraverted: they constantly interact with others, rant live during matches, and share personal milestones very publicly, e.g. celebrating a big result with “Sei la eu meio que sou muito foda PASSEI NA USP CARALHO” and posting about parties and friends like “Pqp eu amo meus amigos eu amo beber eu amo ser feliz”. Their humor and commentary show a strong Intuitive (N) focus: they enjoy meta‑takes on culture and fandom, such as criticizing content-creators’ motives in “esses caras não fazem críticas pra levantar o projeto, eles criticam pra parasitar o público e vender um projeto pessoal tosco…” and mocking RPG influencers in “Esses metidos a Pedro Álvares Cabral de RPG…”, both of which go beyond concrete events to underlying patterns and motives. They are clearly Thinking (T): their tone is blunt, argumentative, and often harsh, e.g. “Tem que pagar multa um fdp desse”, “Schmidt é o jogador do Santos que mas me dá ódio, de longe”, and their analytical takes on refereeing like “a falta foi inexistente, mas vcs tem que entender que deixar o pé no local da passada do atacante desequilibra e é falta sim”. Their lifestyle and tweeting style are spontaneous and adaptable, fitting Perceiving (P): they oscillate between self‑deprecation and bravado (“pqp eu tenho uns storys arquivados mt bizarros, eu era mt virjola”), binge shows impulsively like “voltando a ver One Piece e sendo feliz”, and lean into chaotic, in‑the‑moment reactions rather than careful planning, as seen in their rapid-fire emotional match commentary like “Vai ser um ano longo torcedor”. Taken together—outspoken social energy, pattern‑oriented criticism, abrasive logic-first tone, and improvisational lifestyle—ENTP fits them best.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said you’d give your ass for Gabigol, but you also said you were ‘very awesome’ for getting into USP… how about we compromise and you just give me a chance instead?
- If you can turn tearing your knee ‘to feel like Neymar’ into a joke and still call your life wonderful because of that free Etec trip to England, I kind of want to see how fun you’d make a date with me.
- You went from crying everywhere three years ago to ‘PASSEI NA USP CARALHO’ and flexing England on Instagram — I don’t want to say you’re a wizard, but your bio literally says ‘make ’em disappear’ and my standards kind of just vanished.
- You keep roasting Santos, Palmeiras, Corinthians, Casimiro, Schmidt, Alexis, Zé Ivaldo… but then you tweet ‘I love my friends, I love drinking, I love being happy’ — can I apply to be on the love side of your timeline instead of the corneta side?
- Between winning Paranordle, begging Cellbit to drop Apocalipse, defending Ordem, and watching One Piece, you clearly have elite nerd credentials — how about we roll initiative on a date and see if we get a natural 20 on chemistry?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
From crying in high school halls to USP lectures and English trips. Santos, RPG & football hot takes. Once tore my knee chasing a ball, not a dream.– @deguimon2
Your signature cocktail
Santos Wizard Rage Highball
This drink starts with fiery chili-infused cachaça to match the way they casually tweet things like “MATA O GABRIEL MENINO IMBECIL” and “Alguém MATA o Zé Ivaldo, ESTRANGULA esse arrombado”. A shot of Brazilian coffee liqueur reflects the late-night, hyperfocused football brain that calls Santos a phenomenon abroad in “quando eu tava na Inglaterra a camisa de futebol que eu mais vi era a do Santos” and still finds time to be a fan of One Piece in “voltando a ver One Piece e sendo feliz”. Lime juice cuts through the bitterness, echoing the emotional pivot from self-roasting like “pqp eu tenho uns storys arquivados mt bizarros, eu era mt virjola” to pure pride in “Sei la eu meio que sou muito foda PASSEI NA USP CARALHO”. The sea salt rim nods to Santos and the chaotic love for the club in lines such as “Santos joga futebol mais feio que bater em mãe” and “meu Santos lavando dinheiro do narcotráfico? EU FECHO MUITO”. Finally, a splash of energy drink channels the manic, meme-y, wizard-core bio “make ‘em disappear, call me wizard.” and the over-the-top devotion in “Eu daria a bunda pro Gabigol”, turning the whole cocktail into a chaotic, high-energy rant in a glass.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
This user shows strong Gryffindor traits: emotional impulsiveness, boldness, and a tendency to charge head‑first into conflict. Their football commentary is full of fiery, confrontational language and a willingness to say exactly what they think, like “Vai tomar no seu cu casimiro” and hyperbolic outbursts such as “Alguém MATA o Zé Ivaldo, ESTRANGULA esse arrombado”, which fit the house’s hot‑blooded, temper‑driven stereotype. There’s also a lot of reckless bravado and dark humor about danger or crime, for example “meu Santos lavando dinheiro do narcotráfico? EU FECHO MUITO, SANTOS O TIME DO CRIME, SANTOS O TIME DO AMOR”, and dramatic declarations like “papo de declarar guerra contra o paraguai”. At the same time, they show courage and a resilient, self‑assertive pride in their own story — “pensar que 3 anos atrás eu tava chorando por tudo que é canto e hoje eu to na USP é amedontrador” and “Sei la eu meio que sou muito foda PASSEI NA USP CARALHO” — which is very in line with Gryffindor’s valor and willingness to face hardship head‑on. Their passionate loyalty to their team and idols, like “Eu daria a bunda pro Gabigol”, further reinforces a Gryffindor profile over a more calculating Slytherin or cerebral Ravenclaw one.
Your movie
Your song
Stronger - Kanye West
A song about getting tougher through hardship fits them well: they openly reference past struggles and growth, like when they say “pensar que 3 anos atrás eu tava chorando por tudo que é canto e hoje eu to na USP é amedontrador” and “Sei la eu meio que sou muito foda PASSEI NA USP CARALHO”. Their bio, “make ‘em disappear, call me wizard.”, matches the song’s confident, almost cocky energy. They’re passionate and explosive about football — for example, “Santos joga futebol mais feio que bater em mãe” and “De verdade, é o ano que eu menos sinto algo pelo Santos… mas tenho ctz que não ganha NADA” — yet they keep watching and commenting, embodying the idea of enduring frustration and coming back stronger. Even when dealing with personal setbacks like a knee injury (“Pqp se eu tiver real que operar eu vou ficar puto”), their tone is more defiant than defeated. All of this lines up with the song’s core message: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, more resilient, and a bit louder about it.
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