Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Radical Honesty: He is transparent about his struggles with homelessness and finances, providing a "Transparency update on what the money is being used for" to his supporters.
- Resilient Humor: Even during his "lowest points", he maintains a self-deprecating wit, calling himself a "literal stupid fatass and edtwt shitposter" in his bio.
- Community Oriented: He actively engages with his followers, creating a "loyalty rewards program" and inviting them to join his "discord server".
- Self-Improvement Driven: He is "taking steps outside of medication" to manage his ADHD and expresses a strong desire to "get better".
- Deeply Empathetic: He shows genuine care for his online friends, wishing them "sweet (sugar free) dreams" and hoping to make them "smile".
Weaknesses:
- Self-Destructive Tendencies: He frequently posts about "canceling kms" and "shooting himself in the foot", indicating high emotional volatility.
- Poor Self-Image: His bio and tweets are filled with harsh self-criticism, labeling himself a "cog in the machine" and a "stupid fucking body".
- Social Isolation: He confesses that he "knows nobody irl" and feels that he will "never be good enough" for anyone.
- Disordered Eating: He actively participates in 'edtwt' and "manifests the threat of spontaneous combustion" if he eats over his limit.
Your Simpsons character
Barney Gumble
Much like Barney Gumble, this user oscillates between a high-functioning professional life and self-destructive habits, often using humor to mask deep-seated self-loathing. While Barney is a 'brilliant' pilot and artist plagued by addiction, this user balances a corporate job where they are “forced to make spreadsheets” with a chaotic digital life defined by mental health struggles and eating disorders. They share Barney's tragic self-awareness, calling themselves a “literal stupid fatass and edtwt shitposter” while simultaneously seeking validation and a way to “get better”. Ultimately, both the user and Barney represent the 'lovable loser' archetype who, despite their “mental ward discharge report”, remain surprisingly earnest and hopeful for their “birth month”.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
@dillutedpiss exhibits Extroversion (E) through their constant social reaching, stating they “got too motivated to make you all smile today” and frequently asking for interaction. Their Intuition (N) shows in their abstract, self-deprecating humor and existential musings, such as when they joke that “nietzsche just copied my drafts”. Despite a blunt exterior, they are a Feeling (F) type who values deep connection, lamenting that they “could give them the absolute world... and I'll still never be good enough”. Finally, they lean heavily into Perceiving (P) due to their self-admitted lack of structure, noting that “adhd and ana brain have made it so difficult to remember what i need” and displaying a spontaneous, chaotic posting style.
Some pickup lines for you
- I heard you’re looking for a partner for your Pokémon Mystery Dungeon team—I promise if you name me after your partner, I’ll never leave your side (or the inventory).
- Are you a 24-hour Valentine’s Day stream? Because I’d stay up all night just to make sure you never feel like a cog in the machine.
- I may not be an expert on the 'Italian brainrot' TCG, but I’d definitely spend my last few coins on a booster pack if it meant seeing you smile.
- Since you’re already 'leasing out' the space under your desk, does it come with a loyalty rewards program for a day-one fan like me?
- Forget the protein shakes and diet soda—how about we go to Waffle House and I’ll be the one to treat you to the best birthday hashbrowns of your life?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
27yo professional spreadsheet enthusiast & TCG collector. When I’m not at the gym or the office, I’m probably searching for a power drill I’ve already lost.– @dillutedpiss
Your signature cocktail
The Executive Dysfunction Sour
This drink captures the chaotic 'edtwt shitposter' energy of a man who claims he’s 'born to shitpost, forced to make spreadsheets.' The triple espresso mirrors his struggle with medication, specifically his “first day trying adhd pills at 3x dose” just to stay productive. The dark chocolate and sugar-free syrup reflect his complex relationship with food, like when he “almost teared up” over peanut butter chips while maintaining his fitness goals. Topped with diet soda, his 'fatass' staple, the cocktail is as bitter and self-deprecating as his jokes about his 'mental ward discharge report.' It’s a strong, experimental mess—much like the man who flirts with employees for “pokemon card info” instead of women.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Despite his self-deprecating humor, @dillutedpiss demonstrates a classic Slytherin mix of ambition and calculating resourcefulness to improve his status. He displays a focused desire for future success, mentioning his plan for “being identified in the future when im famous and rich”. His resourcefulness often leans into manipulation for personal gain, such as when he admitted to “lied about not feeling depressed anymore last week so i could get adhd meds” or when he joked about being “narcissistic” and using his vulnerability to attract attention. Furthermore, his self-preservation instincts are sharp, noting he keeps “identifying stuff to a min for safety reasons”, proving he is always thinking several steps ahead for his own benefit.
Your movie
Your song
Numb - Linkin Park
The user’s online persona is defined by a deep sense of inadequacy and the crushing weight of external and internal expectations, mirroring the song's theme of struggling under pressure. They frequently express a desire to vanish or end their struggle, lamenting, “why am i so broken why cant i be good enough why am i so fucked up why cant i just end it why am i still here”. This feeling of being a “stupid fatass” or a “cog in the machine” creates a narrative of becoming 'numb' to escape a reality where they feel they'll “never be good enough or useful enough”. Ultimately, the lyrics of Numb resonate with their cycle of self-deprecation and the exhausting effort of “trying to get better” while feeling entirely unheard by those meant to help them.
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