Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Passionate Fan: Shows intense dedication to artists like Reneé Rapp and the movie Wicked, even securing tickets for special screenings.
- Creative Editor: Engages in digital content creation, mentioning they have an edit prepared in After Effects.
- Protective Advocate: Defends artists against body-shaming and invasive thinkpieces, prioritizing the well-being of performers.
- Observant Critic: Analyzes production choices, such as criticizing a winner's speech for sounding like it was written by ChatGPT.
- Community Oriented: Actively interacts with "oomfs" to share concert footage and bond over shared nostalgic interests.
Weaknesses:
- Spoiler Sensitive: Goes to extremes to avoid spoilers, including turning off notifications and abandoning the app entirely for days.
- Gatekeeping Tendencies: Expresses frustration toward non-Canadians traveling for local events, feeling the Maritimes are entitled to exclusivity.
- Academic Distraction: Admits to an inability to focus in class because of a preoccupation with theatre and pop culture.
- Hyperbolic Emotionality: Uses extreme language frequently, claiming to collapse and die or scream over awards show winners.
- Cynical Outlook: Dismisses industry milestones by stating Grammy nominations are no longer a surprise and are "fucking evil."
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Maya embodies Lisa Simpson through her deep, intellectual passion for the arts and her tendency to be a highly emotional, self-described “stupid gay theatre fan”. Much like Lisa, she is an advocate for artistic integrity, expressing frustration when “watered down” themes affect a story's impact. Her world revolves around music and performance, from being “very very satisfied with the grammys” to her intense devotion to the Wicked film, mirroring Lisa’s own obsessive dedication to her saxophone and jazz icons. Maya also possesses Lisa’s moral core, defending artists from invasive public scrutiny and “thinkpieces about her body.” Ultimately, her mix of high-brow cultural appreciation and sensitive, artistic soul makes her a perfect match for the most talented and thoughtful member of the Simpson family.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
Maya exhibits Extroversion (E) through their high-energy engagement with fan communities and frequent attendance at live events, such as when they shared a “belated reneé tg post 🫶🏻 toronto loves u babe”. Their Intuition (N) is evident in their focus on the emotional subtext and symbolic power of art, like when they criticized a movie for having “watered down the darker themes”. As a clear Feeler (F), they process the world through intense emotional reactions, notably stating they “literally screamed so loud holy shit” when a favorite artist won a Grammy. Finally, their Perceiving (P) trait shows in their spontaneous, stream-of-consciousness tweeting style and flexible interests, though they occasionally track data like having “158,324 total minutes across streaming services”.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you the Wicked: For Good soundtrack? Because I’m prepared to have an out-of-body experience and then play you on loop for the rest of the week.
- Forget the Grammy surprises—the only thing that has my heart rate rising today is seeing you on my timeline.
- I may not be a gay hockey player, but I’d definitely travel all the way to the Maritimes just to make sure you don't get shut out tonight.
- Is your name René Rapp? Because I’m currently suffering from a major post-concert hangover and I haven't even seen your show yet.
- If we were at the Walter Kerr together, I'd make sure our love wasn't just a temporary thing like those flowers outside.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Canadian theatre tech & hockey player. Once survived a store fire on my first day of work. Passionate about musical adaptations and the ethics of live performance.– @dontcrywillow
Your signature cocktail
The Gelphie Green-Room Glitch
This cocktail captures Maya’s high-energy 'theatre kid' essence, celebrating their total obsession with the Wicked movies where they felt they might “collapse and die”. The drink is sweet but carries a sharp, critical edge for when “all men do is lie” or when award shows are “not a single surprise so far”. The sparkling base reflects the chaotic joy of being a “gay hockey player” who spends 158,324 minutes a year streaming music. It’s a bold, experimental mix perfect for someone who survived a “fire at the store” on their first day of work.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
Maya demonstrates the classic Hufflepuff traits of deep loyalty and a protective nature toward those they care about, particularly their favorite artists. They prioritize kindness and emotional connection, seen when they defend a singer by stating “ariana is so kind to these people when she would be perfectly justified in telling them to d!e” and emphasize the importance of “concert etiquette” to maintain trust between fans and performers. Their commitment to their community is evident in their plea for others to “please let us have this” regarding local events in the Maritimes. Furthermore, Maya's bio “everything’s gonna be fine, i love you” reflects a core desire to provide comfort and support, which is the heart of the Hufflepuff house.
Your movie
Your song
For Good - Stephen Schwartz (Wicked)
Maya’s online presence is almost entirely defined by their deep, emotional connection to musical theatre, specifically the Wicked movies. They describe experiencing “Audible Sobbing during for good” and repeatedly mention the song's impact, noting that “this fucking track run in the for good score man what the hell” left them devastated. The song’s themes of transformative friendship and bittersweet goodbyes mirror Maya’s own sentimental nature and their bio’s reassuring message, “everything’s gonna be fine, i love you.” As someone who identifies as a “stupid gay theatre fan”, this anthem of soul-altering connection is the ultimate reflection of their personality and interests.
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