Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Emotionally expressive: Openly shares moods and struggles, like feeling sick, depressed, or nervous about an autism assessment: “i find out if im autistic in less than two weeks BHAHAHAHAHAH NERVOUS LAUGHTER”.
- Affectionate friend: Frequently tells moots they love and miss them and apologizes for inactivity: “GOODNIGHT LOVE YOU GUYS i hope you all dream of his hands like i wanna”, “SORRY FOR MY ABSENCE i miss u guys”.
- Playful humor: Uses self-aware jokes and dramatic phrasing about fandoms and daily life, e.g. “having a great time playing minecraft on easy with keep inventory on bc i simply dont care” and the looping alarm bug story: “wake up my phone has done the update… the song repeats at this point”.
- Creative fandom: Makes edits, in-depth thoughts, and elaborate fantasies about characters: “self indulgent edit number 38747 #LexLuthor” and “biggest 25 lex luthor simp here are my credentials”.
- Change effort: Actively trying to quit vaping, tracking progress, and using patches despite difficulty: “i just threw my vape in the recycling thing at work” and “anyways today is one week no vape and i moved onto the weaker nic patches aswell”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-deprecation: Speaks very harshly about themself and appearance: “i am so ugly lately ffs” and uses degrading language about their worth in fantasies.
- Pain fixation: Strong focus on wanting to be hurt or in pain sexually and physically: “every day i mourn the fact that i dont have balls so i could be in more pain” and repeated tweets about being beaten or degraded.
- Health neglect: Downplays or delays care for physical issues: “lump in my toe feels like a bone wtf… time to wait two weeks to see a doctor of course” and continues working despite feeling sick: “bruh i feel sick”.
- Addiction struggle: Intense cravings and rumination about vaping even while quitting: “i really do miss my vape fuck” and “the hardest thing about quitting vaping is that i have lost the thing that tastes good, makes you feel good…”.
- Executive difficulty: Struggles with basic tasks and consistency, like cleaning and keeping up with projects: “idk how im meant to acheive things in life when i cant even clean my own room” and “havent updated the thread in over a month its gonna be hell when i do—”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
The best match is Lisa Simpson, specifically a very online, horny, adult-AU version of her. Like Lisa, this user is introspective and anxious about their mental health and identity, shown in tweets like “i find out if im autistic in less than two weeks BHAHAHAHAHAH NERVOUS LAUGHTER” and “if i have any other delusional astrology pisces on my tl can you tell me if you relate to this bc i graduated uni late 2022 and have struggled to find work at all and literally all of my problems started in 2012 bro”. Lisa’s intense special interests line up with their hyperfixations on Lex Luthor and evil doctors, as seen in “my lust for 25 lex luthor knows no bounds” and “biggest 25 lex luthor simp here are my credentials”. Their ethics-driven choices and frustration with their environment echo Lisa’s moral streak, for example quitting vaping despite hating it in “i just threw my vape in the recycling thing at work” and venting about healthcare in “lump in my toe feels like a bone wtf 😔 time to wait two weeks to see a doctor of course”. The veganism in their bio and their sense of being the odd one out in a messy, chaotic family/work life further reinforce the parallel to Lisa as the emotionally intense, overthinking, principled, and chronically online version of her.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They read as more introverted than extroverted: most activities are solo and comfort-based, like playing games and watching movies, e.g. “having a great time playing minecraft on easy with keep inventory on bc i simply dont care” and “cup of earl grey im gonna paint my nails and watch superman 🥹🩷”, and when they talk about people, it’s mainly moots/online community and parasocial crushes rather than big social circles. They clearly prefer intuition over sensing: their timeline is full of fantasies, kinks, fictional scenarios, and hyperfixations on characters and body-horror media, like “thinking about being neglected 🥰 lock me up in the pocket universe and ‘forget’ im there for a week 🥰” and the elaborate Lex Luthor scenarios such as “thinking about sitting in his lap cockwarming while he makes a bunch of business calls and acts like im not even there”. They lean strongly feeling over thinking: their decisions and self-talk are steeped in emotion and self-worth, e.g. “im so sorry im such a bummer guys i swear im trying so hard not to be 😭😭😭🤚🩷🩷” and “idk how im meant to acheive things in life when i cant even clean my own room 😭😭🤚”, with almost no analytical or debate-style posts. Finally, they come across as perceiving rather than judging: they struggle with routines and follow-through, mentioning mess and procrastination like “idk how im meant to acheive things in life when i cant even clean my own room 😭😭🤚” and indecision about vaping, e.g. “do you reckon if i vape like one day a month or something like fuck is that better than vaping everyday idk i cant see myself ever getting over this goddamn craving”. The heavy emphasis on inner emotional life, escapist fantasy, and slightly chaotic lifestyle with self-deprecating humor fits INFP more than adjacent types like ENFP or INFJ.
Some pickup lines for you
- If quitting vaping costs 20x more than vaping, how expensive do you reckon it’d be to quit thinking about you every time you tweet about Lex Luthor and body horror?
- You’re in your ‘pocket universe’ era, I’m in my ‘lock me up there with you, Minecraft on easy and Cult of the Lamb running in the background’ era — we should sync our timelines.
- You said you’re finding out if you’re autistic soon — neurospicy or not, anyone who throws their vape in the recycling at work, simps for 25!Lex, and still shows up for their moots is exactly my type of special interest.
- You’re late on your period, your room won’t clean itself, and your toe feels like a bone… statistically speaking, I think you deserve at least one hot date where the only thing you have to worry about is which Lex Luthor edit we watch first.
- You keep talking about wanting to be chained to his desk and kneeling at his feet during meetings — counter-offer: you, me, a cosy messy room, peach-flavoured relaxation air (0 nicotine, promise), and I just call you ‘needy’ because I want you closer, not because you deserve less.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
24 • agender queer vegan • part-time evil doctor enthusiast, full-time customer service survivor. Once quit vaping mid-shift & immediately regretted it.– @drcranefucker
Your signature cocktail
Pocket Universe Lex on the Rocks
Vodka infused with Earl Grey nods to their cosy film nights and slightly dramatic elegance, like when they planned a night with a “cup of earl grey im gonna paint my nails and watch superman 🥹🩷” “cup of earl grey im gonna paint my nails and watch superman 🥹🩷”. Peach liqueur and the fluffy ‘relaxation air’ foam reference their craving for vape sweetness and comfort, echoing “i want my peach flavoured relaxation air” “i want my peach flavoured relaxation air” and their struggle with quitting, like “the hardest thing about quitting vaping is that i have lost the thing that tastes good, makes you feel good” “the hardest thing about quitting vaping is that i have lost the thing that tastes good, makes you feel good, inhibits your appetite, has zero calories”. The smoked salt saline brings in a sharp, slightly painful edge to honour their heavy kink and degradation fantasies, as in “kick me in the pussy slap the fuck out of it every day i mourn the fact that i dont have balls so i could be in more pain” “anyways KICK ME IN THE PUSSY SLAP THE FUCK OUT OF IT every day i mourn the fact that i dont have balls so i could be in more pain” and “i need him to yank my head back by the hair and spit in my mouth” “i need him to yank my head back by the hair and spit in my mouth and tell me to swallow please”. Overall it’s a strong but velvety drink—sweet, a little bitter, and extra obsessive—just like their relentless fixation on Lex Luthor, from “my GOD F U C K i love lex luthor” “my GOD F U C K i love lex luthor” to “my lust for 25 lex luthor knows no bounds” “my lust for 25 lex luthor knows no bounds and i know this because it is surviving my depression”.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Their core personality reads as intensely ambitious, self-indulgent, and fantasy-driven in a way that fits Slytherin more than any other house. They repeatedly fantasize about total control and ownership under powerful, ruthless figures like Lex Luthor — for example, wanting to be “chained to his desk” while working as a subordinate (“GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY cant wait to spend the entire shift thinking about being chained to his desk”) and imagining being locked away in a pocket universe and neglected as punishment (“lock me up in the pocket universe and ‘forget’ im there for a week … call me needy and beat me up because thats the only attention i deserve”). This isn’t passive daydreaming; it’s a consistent pattern of gravitating toward power, hierarchy, and cruelty as exciting, which is very Slytherin-coded. They’re also highly resourceful and self-directed: quitting vaping via patches despite intense craving (“anyways today is one week no vape and i moved onto the weaker nic patches aswell”) and obsessively tracking their own habits or game progress (“day 2 no anemo goblet this game hates me”) shows a stubborn, goal-focused streak. While they display warmth toward moots and family, the dominant throughline is attraction to power, control, and survival-through-obsession, which aligns most strongly with Slytherin rather than the more idealistic or collaborative houses.
Your movie
Your song
Villain - K/DA ft. Madison Beer, Kim Petras
A best fit is "Villain" by K/DA ft. Madison Beer & Kim Petras, because it leans into glamorous evil, power fantasies, and obsessive devotion—exactly their vibe. They openly brand themselves as a "supersimp" for Lex Luthor, tweeting things like “my lust for 25 lex luthor knows no bounds” and “grrrrr….. lex luthor……. grrrrrrrr woof woof….. rrrrrr…..”, which matches the song’s seductive villain worship. The darker, kinkier lines in the lyrics parallel tweets such as “anyways KICK ME IN THE PUSSY SLAP THE FUCK OUT OF IT” and “i need him to drug me just so he can grope me and take advantage of me anyways”, where they eroticize danger and control. Their fixation on evil doctors and corporate villains—“biggest 25 lex luthor simp here are my credentials” and “who would have guessed brat likes the evil doctor in this franchise omg”—aligns with the song’s celebration of being feared and adored. Even their self-deprecating, intense emotional tone, like “im so sorry im such a bummer guys i swear im trying so hard not to be”, fits the track’s mix of vulnerability wrapped in a confident, dangerous persona.
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