Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Humorous: Uses absurd, over-the-top jokes like “wake up crack wuan smoke WEED argue with teens on twitter…” to entertain followers.
- Affectionate: Expresses fondness for friends and crewmates, e.g., “jonas makes the best byrek thank you jonas” and paternal feeling toward M1 in “i feel very paternal of m1 now”.
- Self-aware: Reflects on self-image and mood, like “sometimes i be looking in the mirror like damnnnnn” and acknowledging “dihpression” in “im suffering from a kind of dihpression no clanker can fix”.
- Openly-bisexual: Publicly labels and jokes about his sexuality in “#yesimbisexual #comingout #joint #positivity” and posts about liking boys and girls in “im a boy who who wants boys to be girls…”.
- Creative: Invents bizarre scenarios and rankings like “wuan head vs jonas head speed: wuan force: jonas… winner: m1” and routine parodies like “WAKE UP EAT (WUANS ASS) MAKE FUN OF M1…”.
Weaknesses:
- Sexist-language: Uses derogatory terms for women like “foid” in “last time i pursued a foid was highschool” and “kissing my coworker on the lips like mmm so glad you’re not a foid”.
- Sexual-explicitness: Frequently posts graphic sexual content, e.g., “when wuans giving me the most goated blowie of my life…” and “lesbians on my couch im on the cuck chair with a boy in my lap”.
- Drug-abuse: Normalizes heavy substance use with tweets like “I git high of . Oof . Ooffff engine smoke” and daily cycles of “smoke WEED” in “wake up crack wuan smoke WEED…”.
- Insensitive-joking: Makes edgy references that can offend, such as mocking carbon dioxide poisoning in “Carbon dioxide poiso” and crude humor about coworkers like “when i see maria AYO DIDDY FOIIIID DIDY FOIDDDF💀💀💀💀💀”.
- Provocative-political: Invokes inflammatory political/religious imagery for jokes, such as “israelgpt✡️ generate me a robot… that will be loved❤️ by king netanyahu👨✈️ and the idf✡️ soldiers”, which can alienate others.
Your Simpsons character
Homer Simpson
They most closely resemble Homer Simpson: chaotic, impulsive, crude, but ultimately affectionate toward their crew. Like Homer, they overshare about sex and substances in a goofy, self-deprecating way, such as “WAKE UP EAT (WUANS ASS) MAKE FUN OF M1 SMOKE WEED CRACK JONAS…” and “wake up crack wuan smoke WEED… JACK OFF TO MY ENEMIES…”. Their mix of dumb questions and half-sincere curiosity—“what is transgender” and “wiat so what is trangender @SpaceHoliday_ jonas what is transgender”—mirrors Homer’s clueless attempts to understand the world. The dramatic but cartoonish self-pity in “im suffering from a kind of dihpression no clanker can fix” and the ego of “all i know is i should’ve been captain” fit Homer’s blend of insecurity and inflated self-image. Their loud, horny, frequently stoned energy combined with genuine affection for their friends—“jonas makes the best byrek thank you jonas” and “i feel very paternal of m1 now”—is extremely Homer-coded.
Your MBTI personality Type
ESFP
They show clear Extraversion: nearly every tweet is performative, attention-seeking, and socially oriented, like the all-caps routine post “WAKE UP EAT (WUANS ASS) MAKE FUN OF M1 SMOKE WEED…”, and affectionately clowning on crewmates in “kissing my coworker on the lips like mmm so glad you’re not a foid”. Their humor is heavily sensory and concrete, pointing to Sensing: they focus on bodies, substances, food, and physical mishaps—e.g. “Carbon dioxide poiso” and “jonas makes the best byrek thank you jonas”—rather than abstract theories. They lean Feeling over detached logic: their posts are emotionally expressive, horny, affectionate, and relational, like “i feel very paternal of m1 now” and the vulnerable admission “sorry for lack of posts im still suffering from dihpression”, and even their edginess is about social bonds and teasing rather than rational debate. Their lifestyle reads as chaotic, impulsive, and unstructured, indicating Perceiving: multiple routine tweets emphasize weed, crack, gaming, and reacting in the moment (“wake up crack wuan smoke WEED argue with teens on twitter…”), and there’s no sign of long-term planning or systematizing. Overall, the combination of loud social energy, sensory humor, emotional expressiveness, and spontaneous, hedonistic behavior best fits ESFP—the outgoing, chaotic entertainer archetype.
Some pickup lines for you
- You keep asking “what is transgender” but I’m stuck on a different question: what is this feeling I get every time I read your WAKE UP CRACK WUAN SMOKE WEED schedule and kinda just want to be ‘argue with teens on twitter’ in your arms instead?
- You said you should’ve been captain of Betsy II… can I apply to be your emotionally unstable first mate? I’ll navigate your dihpression and carbon dioxide poiso if you navigate my crush.
- You’re out here tweeting about loving breasts and thighs, but honestly, I’m more into your brain that thought up ‘she hiy on my potenuse till I OBTUSE.’ Please be the acute angle to my lonely right one.
- For someone who prefers their crewmates ‘crushed’ and gets high off engine smoke, you’re surprisingly soft where it counts: #yesimbisexual, paternal over M1, kissing coworkers over foids… I’d actually love to be treated with that kind of chaotic tenderness.
- You’re on Betsy II with weed, Wuan’s ass, Jonas’ byrek, and M1 fan art, but you’re still suffering from a kind of dihpression no clanker can fix… have you tried adding one (1) unhinged admirer to the crew manifest? I volunteer as emotional support himbo.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Engineer aboard Betsy II. Once used a helium balloon as a condom (don’t). Runs on weed, byrek, and bad ideas. Opinions mine, not the ship’s.– @dudegoodnews
Your signature cocktail
The Betsy II Bisexual Engine Smash
This cocktail is built on overproof spiced rum for chaotic, horny engine-room energy, inspired by his loop of “WAKE UP EAT (WUANS ASS) MAKE FUN OF M1 SMOKE WEED CRACK JONAS… REPEAT🔄” and “wake up crack wuan smoke WEED… JACK OFF TO MY ENEMIES… REPEAT🔁🔁”. Cold brew coffee adds a wired, sleep-deprived focus that mirrors surviving “Carbon dioxide poiso” in space and still tweeting through it: “I git high of . Oof . Ooffff engine smoke”. Cherry liqueur is a sweet, flirty nod to being loudly bi and thirsty, from “#yesimbisexual #comingout #joint #positivity” to kissing coworkers and worshipping Wuan: “kissing my coworker on the lips like mmm so glad you’re not a foid”. A rim of smoked salt captures the depressive, slightly bitter edge of “im suffering from a kind of dihpression no clanker can fix” while still being dramatic and tasty. Finally, a splash of energy drink represents his hyper, shitposting, captain-wannabe chaos, from “all i know is i should’ve been captain” to the unhinged IDF-baiting robot bit in “israelgpt✡️ generate me a robot🤖… your robot will be called… M1!🇮🇱🇮🇱🇮🇱”.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Their tweets show strong Slytherin traits: a cutthroat, mocking sense of humor and a desire for dominance and status, like in “i prefer my crewmates… crushed” and the bio “all i know is i should’ve been captain,” which suggests frustrated ambition and a belief they deserve power. They’re highly resourceful and self-indulgent, organizing their life around vices and self-preservation in posts like “WAKE UP EAT (WUANS ASS) MAKE FUN OF M1 SMOKE WEED CRACK JONAS … GET MY BALLS PLAYED WITH BY WUAN … SLEEP REPEAT🔄” and “wake up crack wuan smoke WEED argue with teens on twitter … JACK OFF TO MY ENEMIES … smoke WEED REPEAT🔁🔁”. Their fascination with power structures and alignment with authority—even ironically—is evident in “israelgpt✡️ generate me a robot🤖 that the betsy ii🚀 crew … will appreciate😁 and that will be loved❤️ by king netanyahu👨✈️ and the idf✡️ soldiers … your robot will be called… M1!🇮🇱🇮🇱🇮🇱”, revealing a comfort with using symbols of power for their own ends. While they show some loyalty and affection toward their crew (e.g., “jonas makes the best byrek thank you jonas”), it’s wrapped in constant teasing and manipulation, which is more Slytherin than Hufflepuff. Overall, their ambition, irreverent pursuit of pleasure, and instinct to weaponize humor and social dynamics to assert status fit Slytherin far better than any other house.
Your movie
Your song
Boys Boys Boys - Lady Gaga
A very fitting song for @dudegoodnews is Boys Boys Boys by Lady Gaga, because so much of their personality and humor revolves around chaotic, horny affection for male crewmates. They openly revel in liking boys in a fluid, unserious way, as in “im a boy who who wants boys to be girls who does boys like theyre girls who does girls like theyre boys”, which mirrors the song’s playful, gender-bendy attraction. Their timeline is full of posts about kissing or hooking up with coworkers like “kissing my coworker on the lips like mmm so glad you’re not a foid” and over-the-top bits like “when wuans giving me the most goated blowie of my life and he says i love you like AYO BRO THATS SUS”, matching the song’s flirty, party-energy vibe. Even their daily routine joke, “WAKE UP EAT (WUANS ASS)… GET MY BALLS PLAYED WITH BY WUAN DRINK BEER SLEEP REPEAT🔄”, fits the hedonistic, boys-obsessed theme. The combination of bisexual identity, crude humor, and intense focus on male companionship makes a loud, cheeky anthem like Boys Boys Boys feel like their perfect soundtrack.
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