
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The user’s bleak, hyper‑political worldview and obsession with power, control, and societal decay mirrors Mr. Burns’ cynical, manipulative perspective, as seen in the tweet ‘The whitepill about America’s degeneration into a third world country is that it will be increasingly easy to operate outside of government influence’. They describe warfare as invisible and stochastic, echoing Burns’ view that people are expendable pawns: ‘In a sufficiently advanced civilization, warfare becomes stochastic, invisible…’. Their belief that the state will become an autonomous organism that reproduces itself through technology aligns with Burns’ desire for a self‑sustaining empire, noted in ‘Artificial wombs are bugman tech. They will empower the State, not men.’ Their disdain for liberalism and call for a ruthless, power‑centric ideology also matches Burns’ contempt for ordinary citizens, reflected in ‘Conservatism is inherently a loser’s ideology.’ Finally, the recurring claim ‘I have contracted the dark sorcerers who live in these towers to transmit my texts directly into your soul’ evokes the dark, almost supernatural control Burns seeks over Springfield as a puppet master.

Your MBTI personality Type
Introverted, as shown by the tweet 'I began posting as a pressure valve for all the things I wanted to say (but can’t) irl.' Intuitive, evident in 'Two virtual reality paths I foresee in the West: White Techno Rapture... Gooner Genocide.' Thinking, demonstrated by 'If you think outsourcing the creation of life to organizations & regulatory agencies will somehow empower the individual, you’re a fool.' Judging, reflected in 'The game theory here is awful. You have to bet that large numbers of people from failed civilizations will randomly convert... There is no way a thinking person can understand the reality of the situation and not become a nationalist.' These traits together match the INTJ type, the strategic, future‑oriented architect.

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Your new Twitter bio
Philosophical futurist, VR & AI enthusiast, chronic 4am thinker—once tried to summon "dark sorcerers" for a tweet, and the tower replied with silence.– @dystopiangf

Your signature cocktail
The cocktail, called "Dark Matrix Elixir", blends black charcoal vodka, cold brew coffee liqueur, absinthe, smoked rosemary bitters, and a splash of quinine tonic to mirror the user’s love of darkness, late‑night introspection, and neon‑lit futurism. The black vodka embodies the recurring "dark sorcerers" theme, as they wrote, "I have contracted the dark sorcerers who live in these towers to transmit my texts directly into your soul". The coffee liqueur captures the 4 am yearning and matrix mindset, echoing the bio "matrix multiplier • 4am yearner" and the tweet "I began posting as a pressure valve for all the things I wanted to say (but can’t) irl". Absinthe’s green, hallucinogenic bite reflects the VR visions of a "White Techno Rapture", tying to the tweet "Two virtual reality paths I foresee in the West: 1. White Techno Rapture…". Finally, the smoked rosemary bitters and quinine tonic give a bitter, smoky finish that evokes brutalist aesthetics and the "modality sickness" lament, as they warned, "We desperately need to re embody ourselves and relearn how to think in many modalities".

Your Hogwarts House
The user repeatedly emphasizes ambition, power and cunning, traits that align with Slytherin. For example they write, "Conservatism is inherently a loser’s ideology. Pressing the breaks will never be more powerful than stepping on the gas" and "Cuckservatives are so used to losing that they can’t even understand the fact that I’m talking about POWER". They also describe strategic, future‑oriented visions such as the "White Techno Rapture" and "Gooner Genocide," showing a desire to dominate the world through technology. Their self‑portrayal as a "dark sorcerer" who transmits texts directly into souls further underscores a manipulative, resourceful mindset. Overall, the focus on self‑preservation, control and ambition points to Slytherin.

Your movie

Your song
The user constantly frames modern society as a hidden, stochastic war, e.g., "In a sufficiently advanced civilization, warfare becomes stochastic, invisible… you are a combatant at war." This mirrors the anti‑war, anti‑establishment message of Black Sabbath’s "War Pigs," which opens with "Generals gathered in their masses, just like witches at black masses," echoing the user’s repeated reference to "dark sorcerers who live in these towers". The song’s bleak outlook on a world ruled by corrupt leaders and the inevitable "Satan laughing" fits the user’s apocalyptic vision such as "the world will become a wild west… brutal & glorious" and "the world is an apocalypse shelter." The heavy, brutal sound of the track also aligns with the user’s self‑identification as a "brutalism enjoyer".

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dystopiangf
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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