
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The overall vibe of this account is closest to Bart Simpson: irreverent, chaotic, and constantly mixing edgy humor with genuine enthusiasm. Like Bart, they’re gleefully transgressive and provocative, from posts like “Not one kafir in this world deserves to live” and “#HangDrawAndQuarterAllDiaspora” to over-the-top threats such as “if i dont make 6 figures (usd) a year immediately after i graduate im highkey killing everyone i know”. Their timeline is full of adolescent-style exaggeration and mischief, like “i need to get better at racism” and “We need to start throwing people who say ‘joy and whimsy’ off roofs”, which mirrors Bart’s tendency to push boundaries for a reaction. At the same time, they’re immersed in pop culture, games, and music—gushing over Metal Gear, games, and albums—similar to Bart’s TV-and-video-game-obsessed, slacker energy. The mix of dark jokes, juvenile hyperbole, and occasional self-deprecating angst (e.g., “YouTube recommended sucks my ig fyp sucks realistically what’s stopping me from ending it all”) fits Bart far more than any of the more mature or earnest Simpsons characters.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Introvert: most tweets center on solitary interests (gaming, music, driving) rather than parties or big friend groups, and their humor feels like they’re commenting from the sidelines, e.g. “i got tweeter's block” and “all of my greatest tweets are in my drafts never to see the light of day because i know none of you are ready”. They’re strongly Intuitive, focusing on takes, patterns, and big-picture gripes rather than concrete sensory detail, like “Cities shouldn’t have more than like 3 million inhabitants that’s the sweet spot” and joking about geopolitics or economics (“I’ve been saying moving to argentina is the method but nobody ever listened to me”). Their style is clearly Thinking: they’re blunt, cutting, and often detached or darkly comedic, e.g. “how come almost every tweet i see with over 10k likes is written to be as vague as possible every time i get on here niggas just piss me off so bad” and “We need to start throwing people who say “joy and whimsy” off roofs”, prioritizing critique over harmony. The Perceiving side shows in their spontaneity, procrastination, and open-ended plans: they joke about stimulants and suffering through games (“I haven’t been wanting to kill myself enough these past few weeks I should s rank every mission in mgsv”) and about needing quick money without any structure (“what can i do to make 1300 dollars in like a week”). Taken together—introspective, idea-focused, hyper-analytical, and chaotic rather than orderly—they best fit INTP.

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Your new Twitter bio
CS & markets enjoyer in Saudi. Drives too much, complains about games, accidentally became the Middle East’s Joeyy correspondent.– @edwardjewgate

Your signature cocktail
Overproof dark rum stands in for their chaotic, slightly unhinged intensity and death-drive humor, like when they say “if i dont make 6 figures (usd) a year immediately after i graduate im highkey killing everyone i know” and dream of defense-contractor internships in “Lockheed Raytheon Texas Instruments just send me the email I’m ready”. Cold brew coffee concentrate captures the sleepless gamer-student grind of S-ranking MGSV and fixing broken games, echoed in “I haven’t been wanting to kill myself enough these past few weeks I should s rank every mission in mgsv” and “I love it when I buy a game and I need to download multiple fanmade patches just to get it to run”. Salted caramel syrup is the layer of sweetness and self-aware irony under all the rage, like the tenderness in “my tl thinks im a japanese mexican” and the genuine admiration in “My high school English teacher posts fit breakdowns on Instagram #goat”. Black walnut bitters give it a brooding, bitter edge for their contempt of people and platforms, seen in “ever since i started driving every day i quickly realized that most people dont deserve life” and “how come almost every tweet i see with over 10k likes is written to be as vague as possible every time i get on here niggas just piss me off so bad”. The charcoal-infused ice cube nods to their cyberpunk/Metal Gear obsession and desire for full body modding in “as soon as they invent actual cyberware I’m replacing everything” and their Big Boss fixation in “I saw a 10 year old pic of me and I had an eyepatch over my right eye holy shit I’m literally big boss”. Strong, bitter, a little sweet, and theatrically dark, this drink is built like a late-night rant after losing a Battlefield match as in “got disconnected out midgame just to be put in a queue nice game @EA”.

Your Hogwarts House
This user shows strong ambition and a ruthless, results-first mindset that aligns closely with Slytherin. They repeatedly fantasize about high-status, elite careers, e.g. “Blackrock internship save me” and “Lockheed Raytheon Texas Instruments just send me the email I’m ready”, which fits Slytherin’s drive for power and influence more than any other house. Their hyperbolic willingness to "do anything" for success, like “if i dont make 6 figures (usd) a year immediately after i graduate im highkey killing everyone i know” and "need to start abusing stimulants" in “hmmm i need to start abusing stimulants”, reflects ambition without much concern for rules or conventional morality. There’s also a consistent edge of contempt and self-preservation, such as “ever since i started driving every day i quickly realized that most people dont deserve life” and the desire to "annex them" in “Can we just annex them and be done with it”, which is more Slytherin cynicism than Gryffindor idealism or Hufflepuff empathy. While they show wit and niche interests that a Ravenclaw might share, the dominant throughline is calculated aspiration toward power, status, and survival in a world they openly disdain—classic Slytherin energy.

Your movie

Your song
A well‑fitting song for them is no stylist by Bladee, which mixes irony, detachment, and over-the-top self‑mythologizing. They openly stan niche and internet-heavy music culture, like calling joeyy their favorite in their bio and tweeting about Bladee with “Bladeeeeeeeeee 😭😭😭 I'm so drunkkkkkk 😭 bladddeeeee,” which directly ties into Drain Gang aesthetics. Their timeline is full of dark humor and apathy, from “YouTube recommended sucks my ig fyp sucks realistically what’s stopping me from ending it all” to “The game awards turned me into a nihilist,” matching Bladee’s mix of numbness and melodrama. At the same time, they posture as a future high‑earner and villain protagonist, joking “if i dont make 6 figures (usd) a year immediately after i graduate im highkey killing everyone i know” and fantasizing about defense‑industry internships like “Lockheed Raytheon Texas Instruments just send me the email I’m ready,” which mirrors the song’s flex-heavy, detached cool. Their mix of ironic misanthropy, terminally online gaming/metal-gear obsession, and fashion/status jokes (“I’m majoring in swagonometry”) fits the cold, stylish, alienated energy of no stylist almost perfectly.

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