Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Social Openness: He actively seeks connection and expresses a willingness to “play video games with anyone who dms me”.
- Self-Awareness: He displays introspection regarding his character and growth, wanting to be “less pathetic in the bad way”.
- Resourcefulness: He demonstrates a practical mindset toward finances by “calculating calories per dollar” when grocery shopping.
- Gender Non-conformity: He is comfortable exploring his identity, noting that “getting called good girl hits better” despite being a man.
- Humorous Creativity: He engages in wordplay and surreal humor, such as his joke about a “camera made of ham. hamera”.
Weaknesses:
- Low Self-Esteem: He struggles with guilt and self-image, questioning “why i’m not a bad person” despite reassurance.
- Severe Loneliness: He expresses deep longing for basic physical affection, wondering what it is like to “hold hands or hug”.
- Extreme Impressionability: He defines his romantic preference very broadly as “anyone who’s nice to me”, suggesting a lack of boundaries.
- Impulsive Over-sharing: He posts highly personal medical information, claiming to get “EMERGENCY penis enlargement surgery” in Turkey.
- Social Inexperience: He feels out of touch with digital norms, asking if it is “weird to not have used twitter until 2026”.
Your Simpsons character
Milhouse Van Houten
Much like Milhouse, @em_patheticboy exudes a deeply earnest yet socially awkward energy, openly admitting to a lack of romantic experience in tweets where they “wonder what it’s like to hold hands or hug or kiss”. They share the character's desperate desire for friendship and validation, going as far as to tweet that “i would play video games with anyone who dms me i want friends”. The user also struggles with a low self-image and a sense of inherent failure, mirroring Milhouse's frequent existential crises by questioning “why i’m not a bad person” despite their mistakes. Ultimately, their goal to be “more pathetic in the good way” perfectly encapsulates the lovable loser archetype that defines the The Simpsons character.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
em_patheticboy exhibits strong Introversion through his longing for connection from a distance, tweeting “i wonder what it’s like to hold hands or hug or kiss” while remaining largely solitary. His Intuition is visible in his abstract musing on his own identity, such as wanting to be “pathetic in the good way” rather than the bad way. He aligns with the Feeling trait by prioritizing emotional validation and internal morals, worrying “i hope i’m not a bad person” and admitting “getting called good girl hits better” regardless of logic. Finally, his Perceiving nature is shown through his spontaneous humor and open-ended questions about his future, like asking if he might be “poly if i think i could be ok being in a poly relationship” without having a set plan.
Some pickup lines for you
- I’m no math expert, but I’ve been calculating the calories per dollar on this date, and you’re looking like the highest value item on the menu.
- If you’re still looking for the 'right people' for a poly relationship, I’d love to be the first circumstance you say yes to.
- I saw you were looking for a gaming partner—I promise I’m nice enough to be your 'type' and I'll never make you feel like a 'bad person' for missing a shot.
- Forget Turkey, you don't need surgery to impress me—how about we skip the flight and I just call you a 'good girl' all night instead?
- Is it too late to help you experience what holding hands is like, or are we still just two people who didn't use Twitter until 2026?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Optimizing calories per dollar and dreaming of Turkey. Not a bad person, just a work in progress who prefers 'good girl' over 'good boy.' Let's play video games.– @em_patheticboy
Your signature cocktail
The Good Girl’s Emergency Flight
This cocktail starts with a base of Turkish Raki to toast to his “EMERGENCY penis enlargement surgery in turkey”, blended with a heavy dose of syrup because he likes “calculating calories per dollar”. It is served in a delicate glass for someone who wonders “what it’s like to hold hands or hug”, acknowledging that “getting called good girl hits better than getting called good boy”. The drink is experimental and intentionally confusing, much like his quest to be “less pathetic in the bad way and more pathetic in the good way”. Finally, it’s garnished with ham, because if a camera can be a “hamera”, a drink can be dinner.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
Despite his self-deprecating username, em_patheticboy displays a core Hufflepuff yearning for community and simple kindness, stating “i think my type is anyone who’s nice to me”. He exhibits the house's signature value of companionship and shared activity by posting “i would play video games with anyone who dms me i want friends i want to do stuff with people”. His tendency toward deep introspection regarding his moral character, seen in “i hope i’m not a bad person. everyone said i’m not but i mess up all the time”, mirrors the Hufflepuff concern with being a 'good' person above all else. Furthermore, his open-mindedness toward relationship structures and his sweet, simple sign-offs like “good night everypony” cement his status as a gentle, loyal soul looking for connection.
Your movie
Your song
Creep - Radiohead
This song perfectly mirrors the user's deep sense of inadequacy and longing for connection, as seen when they write, “i wonder what it’s like to hold hands or hug or kiss or cuddle with someone”. The lyrics about self-doubt and feeling like an outsider resonate with their admission: “i hope i’m not a bad person... i mess up all the time”. Their desire to be “more pathetic in the good way” aligns with the song's themes of vulnerability and social alienation. Furthermore, their desperate reach for companionship, stating “i want friends i want to do stuff with people”, captures the same yearning for belonging found in the track.
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