
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
A classic match.

Your MBTI personality Type
They come across as an introvert (I): while highly outspoken, they focus on ideas and polemics rather than socializing or sharing personal life, often positioning themselves as an outsider looking in, e.g. “Another wretched day in this alien prison complex...”, and “God, they fear us so much. I can smell the utter terror that our mere opinions have on them.”, which suggests an internal, self-contained perspective rather than a socially-oriented one. Their content is overwhelmingly intuitive (N), focused on grand historical narratives, ideology, and abstractions rather than concrete daily details, for instance “America is beyond parody... The only logical solution is complete and unilateral European rearmament.” and hierarchical civilizational lists like “1. Skandinavia 2. De Germanske land 3. Europa 4. De siviliserte land”. They are clearly thinking (T)-oriented: their style is harsh, analytical, and contemptuous of emotional sensitivity, as in “As a far right, anti immigrant, pro industrialist militarist, piss off and burn in hell...” and the boastful, logic-framed critique “I read it when I was 15 and understood everything... If you can't understand it feel free to DM me and I'll explain it to you.”. Their worldview is rigid, long-range, and highly structured, indicating judging (J): they advocate clear, fixed programs and uncompromising standards (e.g. “I want to destroy democracy, I hate it.” and “It should be obvious that pursing a doctrine of total scorched earth... sacrificing the entire (ungrateful) population of Greenland... is more than an option”), and frame themselves as an idealist with a defined vision: “You are incapable of envisioning anything beyond keeping a mass of lazy people happy and fed. Mediocrity is your crown...”. Combining these, the pattern best fits INTJ: intensely ideological, future- and system-focused, self-described as an idealist willing to impose drastic, ordered solutions, such as “My means are higher and more nobler than your ends... you let yourself be chained down by the world around you.” and “I want to destroy democracy”, which align closely with stereotypical INTJ traits of strategic, uncompromising vision and dismissiveness of popular sentiment.

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Scandinavian history buff & unapologetic nationalist; argues geopolitics, language & military doctrine for fun. Once live‑translated Wagner at a bus stop.– @EmperorCanute

Your signature cocktail
This is a harsh, high-proof cocktail built for someone who says “As a far right, anti immigrant, pro industrialist militarist, piss off and burn in hell, we’ll handle ourselves fine and dandy without your interference.”. The overproof aquavit stands for his Nordicist identity and fixation on Scandinavia, echoing lists like “1. Skandinavia 2. De Germanske land 3. Europa 4. De siviliserte land”. Smoky peated whisky brings a warlike, scorched-earth note, mirroring lines such as “pursing a doctrine of total scorched earth and/or sacrificing the entire (ungrateful) population of Greenland”. Blood orange juice gives a bitter, red-tinted acidity for his violent, vengeful streak, as when he muses “But you can just kill all the criminals?”. Burnt sugar syrup adds a dark, slightly charred sweetness evoking his romanticism about empire and palingenesis, like “God bestowed upon the British a world empire. Carry yourself in a manner that continues this legacy and you might bring about its palingenesis.”. Finally, a dash of saline represents the cold, contemptuous edge of someone who calls America “a nation of chimpanzees” in “America is beyond parody and beyond reasoning, a nation of chimpanzees. The only logical solution is complete and unilateral European rearmament.”, making the drink bracing, aggressive, and absolutely not for the faint of heart.

Your Hogwarts House
This account is dominated by extreme ambition and an openly elitist, hierarchical worldview, which are classic Slytherin traits. They repeatedly frame politics and geopolitics in terms of power, rearmament, and dominance, e.g. calling for “complete and unilateral European rearmament” and describing the US as “a nation of chimpanzees” in “America is beyond parody and beyond reasoning, a nation of chimpanzees. The only logical solution is complete and unilateral European rearmament.”. They explicitly identify as “a far right, anti immigrant, pro industrialist militarist” and tell outsiders to “piss off and burn in hell, we’ll handle ourselves fine and dandy without your interference” in “As a far right, anti immigrant, pro industrialist militarist, piss off and burn in hell, we’ll handle ourselves fine and dandy without your interference.”, showing ruthless in‑group preference and disdain for weakness. Their admiration for imperial power and talk of “palingenesis” of empire in “God bestowed upon the British a world empire. Carry yourself in a manner that continues this legacy and you might bring about its palingenesis.” underscores a fixation on grand, revivalist ambition rather than fairness or simple bravery. They show little interest in kindness or patient loyalty, instead endorsing killing criminals as a straightforward solution in “But you can just kill all the criminals?” and arguing scorched earth or sacrificing whole populations is “more than an option” in “It should be obvious that pursing a doctrine of total scorched earth and/or sacrificing the entire (ungrateful) population of Greenland… is more than an option.”. Even when they discuss ideas philosophically, they frame themselves as an idealist unconcerned with practical obstacles—“I know exactly how difficult my ideas are to impliment I just don't care, you let yourself be chained down by the world around you” in “Wrong, I am the first part but I know exactly how difficult my ideas are to impliment I just don't care, you let yourself be chained down by the world around you.”—which fits the uncompromising, ends‑oriented ambition of Slytherin more than any other house.

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Your song
A fitting song for @EmperorCanute is "Tomorrow Belongs to Me" because it encapsulates their romanticized, authoritarian, ethno-nationalist worldview and fixation on European revival. They openly identify as a radical rightist, calling themselves a “far right, anti immigrant, pro industrialist militarist” and saying “I want to destroy democracy, I hate it.”, which matches the song’s longing for a strong, illiberal order. Their repeated hierarchy of peoples and nations – such as ranking “1. Skandinavia 2. De Germanske land 3. Europa 4. De siviliserte land” and calling America “a nation of chimpanzees” – mirrors the exclusionary, ethnocentric undertone of the song. They idealize imperial and militaristic history, praising British imperial spirit and urging its “palingenesis”, and advocating extreme measures like “total scorched earth”, echoing the song’s imagery of a destined rebirth. Finally, their self-styled role as a visionary who rejects modern mediocrity – insisting “My means are higher and more nobler than your ends” – fits with the song’s tone of fanatical, quasi-mystical belief in a coming national awakening.

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EmperorCanute
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