Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Playful humor: Uses creative, absurd jokes like “She Mutiny on my Bounty til I Thursday October” and “Straight up 'Turning it' and by 'it' haha let's just say... my Washington's Spies” to entertain others.
- Passionate fandom: Shows deep enthusiasm and knowledge for Turn: Washington’s Spies and historical figures, e.g. “I have officially been Turned (Washington’s Spies)” and “George Washington and Ben Tallmadge yelling at each other… is anyone thinking about this?????”.
- Creative writer: Frequently mentions writing fanfic and porn with specific concepts, like “Wow I love not having classes on Fridays. I can literally do whatever. Like write fanfics about the Founding Fathers” and “I'm listening to a playlist featuring music from the American Revolution while I write porn”.
- Socially engaged: Interacts with friends, professors, and fandom peers, e.g. “First lechery writing day with GusPercy this is the best day of my life” and “You must try to become friends with your professors. I'm texting mine about The Boogaloo right now”.
- Self-aware irony: Often calls out their own behavior with humor, like “I’ve been out of the US for less than a month and I’m already tweeting crazy shit” and “I talked tooo much about Dragon Age tonight I should be shot”.
Weaknesses:
- Intense fixation: Fandom focus borders on all-consuming, e.g. multiple daily Turn threads like “We’ve limited ourselves to watching two episodes of Turn every day… it’s so hard” and “Everything and I mean everything is about polar exploration. Including the American Revolution”.
- Oversharing lechery: Shares very explicit sexual thoughts publicly, such as “I’m sorry for what’s about to happen to Ben Tallmadge’s prostate” and “Benjamin Tallmadge my throat goat”.
- Self-deprecating drama: Frequently frames emotions in extreme or violent terms, like “I talked tooo much about Dragon Age tonight I should be shot” and “What if we all died”.
- Impulse tweeting: Posts chaotic thoughts in the moment, acknowledging lack of filter in “I’ve been out of the US for less than a month and I’m already tweeting crazy shit” and drunk posting in “I’m so drunk thinking about Benjamin Tallmadge”.
- Academic distraction: Mentions school but focuses heavily on fandom instead, like “Wow I love not having classes on Fridays. I can literally do whatever. Like write fanfics about the Founding Fathers” and packing stress in “I want to buy so many clothes but I need to realize that I need to PACK THIS ALL OUT”, suggesting priorities can skew toward fandom and impulse buys.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
This user most closely matches Lisa Simpson, specifically Lisa when she’s in an obsessive special-interest era. They’re an archaeology major and clear nerd about history, polar exploration, and the American Revolution, as seen in “Everything and I mean everything is about polar exploration. Including the American Revolution” and “Looking at the list of inmates who have been at Leavenworth and it's like: Serial killers, mobsters, and... Frederick Cook”. Like Lisa, they blend academic curiosity with hyper-specific fandom and moral chaos, e.g. “Wow I love not having classes on Fridays. I can literally do whatever. Like write fanfics about the Founding Fathers” and “I'm listening to a playlist featuring music from the American Revolution while I write porn... I don't even care anymore”. Their intense emotional investment in niche media, such as Turn: Washington’s Spies and polar exploration ships, mirrors Lisa’s passionate fixation on jazz, politics, and causes: “You’ve met me at a very Turn point in my life” and “Guys holy shit Cookmundsen anniversary tomorrow”. They also have a wry, self-aware sense of humor and queer identity that fits older-teen/college-era Lisa fan interpretations, as suggested by “I’ve been out of the US for less than a month and I’m already tweeting crazy shit” and their bio identifying as a femme lesbian.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They lean Extraverted: they constantly reference friends, group activities, and shared fandom spaces, like writing porn with a friend and listening to ambience in “We're listening to Revolutionary War ambience as we write our Turn porn... love wims”, and gleefully announce travel and social plans in “ON MY WAY TO GUSPERCY :DDDDDD”. Their humor is highly associative and idea-driven rather than concrete-detail driven, indicating Intuition; for example, they spin strange conceptual jokes like “She Mutiny on my Bounty til I Thursday October” and reframe everything through polar exploration in “Everything and I mean everything is about polar exploration. Including the American Revolution”. They consistently prioritize emotional intensity and interpersonal dynamics over detached logic, showing Feeling: they focus on characters’ relationships and their own strong reactions, as in “George Washington and Ben Tallmadge yelling at each other… is anyone thinking about this?????” and “Everytime someone brings up that Ben is Washington’s favorite I do a backflip in glee”. Their life and fandom behavior looks spontaneous and exploratory rather than structured, reflecting Perceiving: they joke about writing fanfic instead of using free Fridays productively in “Wow I love not having classes on Fridays. I can literally do whatever. Like write fanfics about the Founding Fathers” and admit they’ll maybe work on a fic while AO3 is down in “Maybe while ao3 is down I’ll actually work on my BenWash fic”. Overall, their outward energy, intense emotional engagement, abstract playful thinking, and flexible, chaotic approach to plans fit ENFP best.
Some pickup lines for you
- You’ve been ‘Turned (Washington’s Spies)’ since January 9th — any chance you could Turn me too, or is Benjamin Tallmadge still your #1 enlistment priority?
- You’re in a ‘JCR flat,’ writing Revolutionary War porn to ambience tracks, and texting professors about The Boogaloo… as an archaeology major I think you just excavated my very specific type.
- You said, ‘You’ve met me at a very Turn point in my life’ — lucky me. If this is your Turn era, can I be the deranged side character you kiss between episodes and Seahawks games?
- You’re counting Monte Cristos, commemorating the Cookmundsen anniversary, and smoking ‘that shit that made Frederick Cook’ — if polar exploration is your love language, I volunteer to be disastrously stranded with you.
- You limit yourself to two episodes of Turn a day, but spend the rest of the time writing BenWash fic and Tallmadge/Washington art… if you ever want a living muse instead of 18th‑century men, I promise I’m at least as gay as naming your child after your general.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Archaeology undergrad in Glasgow, writing about polar expeditions & the American Revolution. Once made my dad watch Turn: Washington’s Spies from 4,000 miles away.– @erebuspalooza
Your signature cocktail
The Tallmadge Throat Goat Martini
This drink hits like a fanfic-fueled all-nighter, so it starts with navy-strength gin for their relentless, slightly unhinged Revolutionary War brainrot, as seen in “Wow I love not having classes on Fridays. I can literally do whatever. Like write fanfics about the Founding Fathers”. Arctic cloudberry liqueur nods to their polar exploration obsession from “Everything and I mean everything is about polar exploration. Including the American Revolution” and their current frozen exile in JCR Flat. A ribbon of hot honey with smoked chili stands in for their gleeful lechery and fiery thirsting, most blatantly “Benjamin Tallmadge my throat goat” and “I’m so drunk thinking about Benjamin Tallmadge”. Sparkling brut cider adds chaotic, fizzy energy for their Seahawks hype and pub adventures like “At a American themed pub called Maggie’s…”. It’s finished with an expressed lemon peel for their sharp, meme-poetic one-liners like “You’ve met me at a very Turn point in my life” and “I put the goon in dragoon”, leaving a bright, biting aroma that lingers longer than a JAndré spiral.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
This user’s core traits point strongly to Ravenclaw: they are intensely nerdy, analytical about their hyperfixations, and constantly learning. They’re an archaeology major who gleefully turns knowledge into elaborate jokes and fic scenarios, like listening to an American Revolution playlist while writing porn in “I'm listening to a playlist featuring music from the American Revolution while I write porn... I don't even care anymore” and texting a professor about niche history in “You must try to become friends with your professors. I'm texting mine about The Boogaloo right now”. There’s a constant drive to connect disparate topics—polar exploration, Revolutionary War media, and historical figures—as in “Everything and I mean everything is about polar exploration. Including the American Revolution” and their delight in weird historical trivia like “Looking at the list of inmates who have been at Leavenworth and it's like: Serial killers, mobsters, and... Frederick Cook”. Their humor is highly referential and clever, evident in lines like “She Mutiny on my Bounty til I Thursday October” and “Benjamin Tallmadge is like if a boy was a girl only when he had sex”, which rely on wordplay and conceptual mashups. While there is clear Hufflepuff-esque warmth toward friends and fandom collaborators (e.g., shared writing sessions in “First lechery writing day with GusPercy this is the best day of my life”), their identity seems most defined by curiosity, obsessive research, and creative intellectual play—all hallmarks of Ravenclaw.
Your movie
Your song
girls - girl in red
A well-fitting song for them is girls by girl in red, which captures chaotic queer yearning and intense fixation that matches how they tweet about both real people and fictional men. Their bio says “femme lesbian | they/them,” and they joke about giving women playlists in “For one dollar, give a woman a playlist”, which fits the song’s sapphic focus on pining and sharing music. The way they spiral over historical and fictional guys—like “Never thought I would say this but I kinda wanna fuck the first president of the United States” and “Benjamin Tallmadge is like if a boy was a girl only when he had sex”—mirrors the song’s obsessive, slightly unhinged romantic energy, just redirected through fandom and history brainrot. Their combination of unapologetic horniness and heartfelt enthusiasm in tweets such as “We’re listening to Revolutionary War ambience as we write our Turn porn... love wims” and “First lechery writing day with GusPercy this is the best day of my life” also matches the song’s headlong, emotionally messy excitement about loving girls. Overall, girls fits their identity, their hyperfixations, and their gleefully chaotic way of expressing desire.
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