Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Emotionally-open: Talks frankly about mental health, like sharing suicide attempt and family talks in “infelizmente quase fui de arrasta pra conseguir chamar a atencao da minha familia...” and anxiety about first psychiatrist visit in “amanha vou no psiquiatra pela primeira vez eu to com medo”.
- Affectionate: Expresses love and attachment to people close to him, for example to Lizzie in “aproveitar q a lizzie foi dormir pra dizer que amo ela” and describing his relationship as a “trisal” in “status de relacionamento: trisal com a @lazylizzie0kcal e @sullistalls apaixonado: muito amor pra dar”.
- Self-aware: Recognizes his own issues and contradictions, like calling out his self-destructive urges in “ao mesmo tempo que quero alguem que incentive a minha autodestruicao e mutilacao eu quero alguem que me ajude” and joking about therapy regression in “regredi 3 anos de terapia vendo esse jogo do corinthians”.
- Humorous: Uses dark and absurd humor to cope, such as mocking his own overdose in “lembro que pedi o carregador pro cara do meu lado... 100mg de diazepam me humilhou mas dormi bastante” and joking about astrology in “falei a hora que eu nasci pra uma doida e ela disse que eu tenho mapa astral de quem bate na esposa”.
- Body-motivated: Shows discipline and goals around fitness, like tracking injuries and weight loss in “ainda nao consigo voltar na academia por causa do corte... perdi 2 kg em 10 dias” and pushing for heavier lifts in “me gravei fazendo remada curvada... objetivo é fazer com 3 placas de 10”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-destructive: Openly discusses suicidal ideation and self-harm urges, e.g. “sempre da vontade de cortar mais fundo que da ultima vez” and “nao sei se to com mais vontade de me cortar de gozar ou de se matar”.
- Sex-obsessed: Large portion of tweets are explicit and fixation-based, like “buceta lisinha sem pelo toda raspada é bom tambem mas nada supera o afago...”, “quero gozar em clitoris fartos”, and “me come por favor, eu to pedindo por favor...”.
- Boundary-blurring: Sexual content is often public and aggressive, for example “GENTE SOCORRO... me manda um video do mamilo bem durinho gostoso...” and pressure-coded jokes like “Solta o '.' que eu mando vc smt”.
- Hostile-reactive: Can respond with aggression or contempt, as in “tomara que vc morra”, calling others “canalhas” in “canalhas”, and ranting about people sending money to others in “tanta gente e bichinho precisando de ajuda... e vcs dando pix pra viciado de sub”.
- Attention-seeking: Admits using extreme behavior and crises to get noticed, like “infelizmente quase fui de arrasta pra conseguir chamar a atencao da minha familia” and dramatizing needs in “Gente, eu preciso MUITO comprar trembolona durateston whey creatina e frango, mas tô sem dinheiro nenhum. Me ajudem”.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
The user most closely matches Bart Simpson, with a mix of chaotic humor, sexuality, and self-destructive tendencies wrapped in joking bravado. Like Bart, he uses shock value and horny jokes as a coping mechanism, with posts such as “buceta lisinha sem pelo toda raspada é bom tambem mas nada supera o afago envolvelte que é chupar uma buceta peluda e cheirosa sufocando a cara chega a revigora nossa alma” and “não tem como... quando vejo peitos eu automaticamente desligo o meu córtex pre frontal e viro um animal selvagem com um tesao incontrolavel” mirroring Bart’s impulsive, id-driven side. His dark, self-destructive streak and casual references to self-harm, like “sempre da vontade de cortar mais fundo que da ultima vez” and “a pior parte de tentar sematar é depois voltar como se nada tivesse acontecido muito cringe”, parallel Bart’s canon struggles with depression and acting out to get attention. At the same time, he shows hidden vulnerability and a desire for affection, for example “ao mesmo tempo que quero alguem que incentive a minha autodestruicao e mutilacao eu quero alguem que me ajude” and the repeated mommy/"neném" jokes like “ME CHAMA DE NENEM”. The mix of trolling, crude humor, impulsivity, and underlying emotional pain makes him feel less like a responsible Lisa or steady Marge, and much more like an older, extremely online, R-rated version of Bart.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They read as more Extraverted than Introverted: they openly seek interaction, attention and validation, talking about wanting someone to "sortear um mutual pra cuidar de mim" and "ME CHAMA DE NENEM", and describing their social circle in "Meu Círculo de Interação no Twitter ➡️ [picture]". Their humor and stream-of-consciousness style show Intuition over Sensing: they jump between fantasies, exaggerated scenarios and internal states (e.g. "ao mesmo tempo que quero alguem que incentive a minha autodestruicao e mutilacao eu quero alguem que me ajude [picture]") rather than concrete, step‑by‑step observations. They lean Feeling: decisions and reactions are driven by emotion, attachment and hurt (wanting attention from family, intense fixation on partners, gratitude for emotional support after self-harm in "infelizmente quase fui de arrasta pra conseguir chamar a atencao da minha familia e perceberem que eu nao tava nada bem... [picture]"), rather than structured logical argument. Their tone, however, is blunt, teasing and sometimes harsh ("cala boca peituda", "tomara que vc morra [picture]"), which fits an Fi user who is candid, not a detached Thinker. Finally, they are highly Perceiving: impulsive, chaotic and unstructured, frequently posting about sudden mood swings ("nao sei se to com mais vontade de me cortar de gozar ou de se matar [picture]"), procrastination, and going with whatever they feel in the moment instead of planning or organizing. Overall, the mix of extroverted, emotionally intense, imaginative, and spontaneous behavior best matches ENFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said melancholy is the most comfortable feeling in the world, but if you let me call you “neném” while we listen to Black Sabbath in the gym, I promise I can give you some competition.
- You almost created the cement of Subtwt and still didn’t put the foundation for us to date? Architect of shtwt, come build a trisal upgrade with me and I’ll even share my protein and my all-star with you.
- You listed Harley, tattoos, creatine, and someone to spit in your mouth as life goals… I can’t buy a Harley yet, but I can be the tattooed neném who warms your feet, cooks you strogonoff with batata palha, and kisses every one of those 16 stitches.
- You said you never got rejected because you never asked anyone out—so as a public service to the Corinthians nation and to your mommy issues, I’m officially asking: can I be the one you use your saias on and brag about your triceps to?
- You want IMC 25, a buceta peluda, to sleep doped forever, and to be called neném… how about we start softer: I call you neném, we share Rivotril-free cuddles, you rant about Sport Club Corinthians Paulista, and I prove affection hits harder than 100mg diazepam.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Andrey | 20+ | PR. Gym, guitars & long Twitter threads. Once called the fire dept on myself and still showed up to leg day. Trying meds, music & growth.– @eu_amo_abelhas
Your signature cocktail
Buceta Peluda Purple Twink Fizz
This drink is a chaotic mix of sweetness, darkness, and pure horny brain-rot, just like Andrey tweeting “hoje to com fome de buceta peluda” right after talking about psych meds and the UPA. The cachaça infused with coffee is for the Brazilian CLT warrior energy and late-night oversharing, as seen in “boa tarde guerreiros da CLT, vou ficar nas coberta lendo e tomando cafe”. Violet liqueur brings the purple/goth vibe of their aesthetic and bio love for 💜, echoing “ROXO” and the constant purple hearts. Passion fruit juice is the explosive tesão and mood swings, matching things like “nao sei se to com mais vontade de me cortar de gozar ou de se matar” and the endless horny polls. The smoked salt rim represents trauma, self-destruction, and hospital runs—salty and a little burnt, inspired by “infelizmente quase fui de arrasta pra conseguir chamar a atencao da minha familia”. A dash of bitters finishes it off to honor the melancholic comfort of “melancolia o sentimento mais confortavel do mundo”, making this cocktail strong, weirdly comforting, and definitely not for twinks he claims to hate in “odeio twinks” while looking exactly like one.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
This user shows a classic mix of impulsiveness, recklessness, and loud emotional bravery that fits Gryffindor best. They openly discuss self-destructive behavior and a recent serious crisis with a kind of raw, performative courage, e.g. “infelizmente quase fui de arrasta pra conseguir chamar a atencao da minha familia… espero n ficar com muito cicatriz” and then later “16 pontos esta assim, obrigado pelas mensagens”, turning trauma into something public and defiant rather than hidden. Their tweets often lean into chaotic bravado and confrontation, such as “tomara que vc morra” and the exaggerated sexual bravado in “não tem como... quando vejo peitos eu automaticamente desligo o meu córtex pre frontal e viro um animal selvagem…”, which fits the impulsive, feelings-first style of Gryffindor rather than the calculated approach of Slytherin. There’s also a protective, almost knight-ish loyalty under the chaos: they speak tenderly about loved ones like “aproveitar q a lizzie foi dormir pra dizer que amo ela” and define themselves partly by their relationships in “status de relacionamento: trisal com a @lazylizzie0kcal e @sullistalls apaixonado: muito amor pra dar”. While there is dark humor and self-preservation conflict, their core identity is emotionally raw, confrontational, and daring rather than strategic or studious, making Gryffindor the best fit.
Your movie
Your song
Creep - Radiohead
A well‑known song that fits Andrey is Creep by Radiohead, because it mixes self‑loathing, dark humor, and intense longing—just like his timeline. He swings between self‑destructive thoughts and joking about them, as in “sempre da vontade de cortar mais fundo que da ultima vez” and “a pior parte de tentar sematar é depois voltar como se nada tivesse acontecido muito cringe”, which echoes the song’s themes of feeling broken and out of place. There’s a constant sense of not belonging but still craving affection and validation, like in “ao mesmo tempo que quero alguem que incentive a minha autodestruicao e mutilacao eu quero alguem que me ajude” and “me chama de nenem”. His mix of sexual desperation and low self‑worth in tweets like “me come por favor, eu to pedindo por favor… eu to muito mal por favor me come pelo amor de deus” mirrors the song’s raw, uncomfortable vulnerability. Overall, Creep captures that blend of self‑destruction, insecurity, and intense desire for connection that runs through his posts.
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