
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Evan maps best to Lisa Simpson: thoughtful, principled, and very good at what he does, while still being extremely online and goofy. Like Lisa, he’s openly moral and political, calling out injustice with things like “if you’re not absolutely livid about what happened yesterday in minneapolis, what the fuck is wrong with you that was murder. full stop.” and criticizing policy or corporate bullshit in tweets such as “i’m sure this has nothing to do with the $1 million dollars @Intuit gave to trump’s inaugural fund”. He’s also a high-achiever and a bit of a nerd, flexing network setups and infrastructure like “i just upgraded my network at home and now have symmetric 5gbps up/down fiber… this shit is so fast and nice and also complete overkill”, which fits Lisa’s overachieving, technically inclined side. At the same time, he has Lisa’s dorky sincerity and love for niche interests—being a principal engineer and speedrunner who gets excited about events like “doing some very important production testing here at #AGDQ2026”. Finally, his mix of self-aware humor and occasional existential frustration, like “what is even happening anymore man”, is very in line with Lisa’s combination of idealism and exasperation with the world around her.

Your MBTI personality Type
They come across as a clear Extrovert (E): they thrive on large events and crowds, like hyping millions of players for a live Fortnite event (“even after all these years it still blows my mind that we can just tell everyone that something’s happening at 2pm on a saturday and then have over 10 million people show up to take part in that thing i helped make”), attending Vegas conferences and shows (“okay that was a FANTASTIC show wow DERRICK BARRY DROPPED DOWN FROM THE CEILING”), and bar/club social life (“best costume at the club tonight goes to Sailor Penny”). They favor Intuition (N), focusing on big-picture ideas and jokes rather than just raw facts, e.g. political/media critique and pattern-spotting (“haha i had been wondering when they were going to run the ‘ok everybody hated that, let’s try just redefining the words’ playbook”) and meta commentary on game design (“most of the fun of making new things is thinking about how to best make them”). Their tone is strongly Thinking (T): they’re blunt, analytical, and often biting in their critiques, like calling out political stupidity (“there is so much dumb shit coming out of this incompetent administration but the ‘secretary of war’ thinking that fog of war refers to literal smoke during an engagement might be the dumbest and funniest shit”) or saying “vim is shit” at an all-hands. At the same time, they express moral outrage and care about people (e.g. calling a police killing “murder” and discussing medical bills and insurance), but the style of expression is still logic-heavy and direct rather than gently diplomatic. Finally, they lean Perceiving (P): they emphasize spontaneity and flexibility—last-minute flight changes for events (“aaaand after an incredibly busy week and weekend (and changing my flight today due to the event, and running to my gate just now) i’m flying to vegas for the week”), joking about half-baked costume ideas (“thinking about just writing ‘67’ on a shirt with sharpie and calling it a day”), and embracing playful chaos in work and life. The combination of extroverted social energy, idea-driven humor, sharp analysis, and go-with-the-flow spontaneity fits ENTP best.

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Principal engineer building Fortnite & Unreal toys. AGDQ tech staff / dino wrangler. Once made my whole family do a Malört shot. Opinions my own.– @evankinney

Your signature cocktail
Bold, nerdy, and just a little chaotic, this strong-but-playful build mirrors a principal engineer who ends an all-hands with “the chaos of ending an all hands with a bunch of engineers with 'vim is shit'”. The high-proof rye whiskey is for the sturdy, no-nonsense backbone that ships events where over 10 million people log in at once, as in “we can just tell everyone that something’s happening at 2pm on a saturday and then have over 10 million people show up to take part in that thing i helped make”. Matcha-honey syrup adds a focused, slightly geeky sweetness, echoing the overbuilt home network flex of “symmetric 5gbps up/down fiber… this shit is so fast and nice and also complete overkill for just me living in this house lmao”. A few drops of smoked lapsang souchong tincture bring seriousness and a hint of burn, nodding to the sharp political and social edge in tweets like “if you’re not absolutely livid about what happened yesterday in minneapolis, what the fuck is wrong with you that was murder. full stop.” and “god i miss the days where i wasn’t embarrassed about being from the united states”. The bright yuzu soda topper is the fizzy, joyful con energy of AGDQ and Fortnite reveals, as in “it’s the most wonderful time of the year” and “SO proud of what we were able to accomplish this year”. Finally, the tiny plastic dinosaur garnish is mandatory: a literal Rex for the guy who posts “never forget your roots” and whose bio screams dino brainrot, plus it pairs spiritually with “nothin better than sharing a boat of raw meat with the boys 😩” and “spending today eating dino nuggies and finally finishing expedition 33”.

Your Hogwarts House
Evan consistently shows a Gryffindor-style willingness to confront things head-on, especially in moral and political contexts. For example, he openly condemns police violence with: “if you’re not absolutely livid about what happened yesterday in minneapolis, what the fuck is wrong with you that was murder. full stop.”, which is a very direct, courageous stance rather than a cautious or diplomatic one. He also repeatedly speaks out bluntly against government incompetence and corruption, as in: “there is so much dumb shit coming out of this incompetent administration … might be the dumbest and funniest shit” and “i’m sure this has nothing to do with the $1 million dollars @Intuit gave to trump’s inaugural fund yep, no way that affected things”, showing a strong instinct to call out wrongdoing. Even in a professional setting he relishes a bit of combative chaos, joking about ending an all-hands with “the chaos of ending an all hands with a bunch of engineers with 'vim is shit' A+++, no notes”, which reflects boldness and a taste for stirring the pot. Combined with his pride in large-scale, high-pressure achievements like helping run Fortnite events for millions of players — “we can just tell everyone that something’s happening at 2pm on a saturday and then have over 10 million people show up to take part in that thing i helped make” — this paints a picture of someone driven by courage, moral conviction, and a bit of showy bravado, all core Gryffindor traits.

Your movie

Your song
A song about hard work, resilience, and celebrating big wins fits Evan’s mix of tech grind, charity work, and showmanship. He’s a principal engineer shipping massive live events, amazed that they can “tell everyone that something’s happening at 2pm on a saturday and then have over 10 million people show up to take part in that thing i helped make,” which mirrors the triumphant, communal energy of We Are The Champions. His charity/game marathon side shines when he says he’s “SO proud of what we were able to accomplish this year… see everybody in minneapolis (and then atlanta!),” evoking the song’s victory-after-struggle vibe. Even his playful self-branding as Evanosaurus “Unrawrl Engine 5.7” Rex and joking about being “deep in the trenches, buddy” at work matches the song’s theme of enduring effort and coming out on top. And his loud pride in community moments—like hyping up game dev wins and saying “incredible things are happening in 2025”—aligns with the anthem-like, inclusive feel of the track.

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evankinney
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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