EveryCarpet
City:
Job:
In a relationship:
Best friend:
Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Humor: Tweets like 'nigga just give me a time machine and i would go uvula deep and fix her' show a humorous approach to life.
- Passionate: Expresses strong feelings on various topics, as seen in 'I am going to make Genghis Khan look like an amateur.'
- Creative: Displays creativity in thoughts and ideas, such as in 'Turning the homeless into your personal shock troops.'
- Thought-provoking: Engages followers with provocative thoughts, evidenced by 'videos like this is why I find alternative history detestable.'
- Engaged: Shows active engagement with culture and politics, seen in references like 'Trump IS the Thermidorian Reaction.'
Weaknesses:
- Offensive: Uses language and references that can be considered offensive, such as 'as an ugly nigga this is true.'
- Aggressive: Statements like 'some people genuinely need their ass beat' convey a hostile attitude.
- Controversial: Content can stir controversy, as seen in 'Authoritarianism remains the most honest form of government.'
- Impulsive: Impulsive thoughts on serious issues, shown in 'i could fix young hillary,' which may not be well received.
- Dismissive: Dismissing others' struggles is evident in statements like 'i must postpone my suicide,' lacking sensitivity.
Your Simpsons character
Mr. Burns
Mr. Burns is a ruthless, authoritarian mogul who revels in power and violence, matching EveryCarpet’s extremist tone. The user writes "Authoritarianism remains the most honest form of government" and "i will ensure the creation of legions of competent, loyal storm troopers," echoing Burns’s desire for control and private armies. Their repeated calls for mass killings, such as "kill them all" and "solar fags need to be launched into the sun," align with Burns’s willingness to eliminate anyone who threatens his interests. The user’s fascination with war and domination, seen in "I am going to make Genghis Khan look like an amateur by the time I’m done with this world," mirrors Burns’s historical obsession with conquest. Finally, the user’s cynical, hyper‑critical attitude, e.g., "the American ‘Revolution’ remains a mistake," fits Burns’s contempt for democracy and the common folk.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENTJ
The user's constant, outspoken posting and frequent engagement with others (e.g., "need Work Mommy" and "I am going to make Genghis Khan look like an amateur by the time I’m done with this world") shows an extraverted, outward‑focused communication style. Their tweets are dominated by abstract, big‑picture conspiracies and speculative scenarios such as "Fifth American Republic" and "alternative history detestable," indicating a preference for intuition over concrete details. Decision‑making is driven by cold, analytical judgments and a disregard for feelings, as seen in statements like "Authoritarianism remains the most honest form of government" and "solar fags need to be launched into the sun." Finally, the user displays a decisive, organized approach to goals, repeatedly declaring intent to "ensure the creation of legions of competent, loyal storm troopers" and "I must become more boarish," reflecting a judging orientation.
Some pickup lines for you
- I once logged a 22‑hour marathon as an Orc Heavy Conjurer in Skyrim—I'd gladly hit pause on that epic quest just to embark on a new adventure with you.
- Your love for Paradox titles like Vic3 shows you're a master of rewriting history; how about we draft a new timeline together over a coffee and see which empire we conquer first?
- If Brahms makes your heart sing, let’s compose our own duet—your smile as the melody, my jokes as the accompaniment, and maybe a few dramatic crescendos.
- You said the ultimate litmus test is Vulcan vs Asari—consider me the Asari who can read your thoughts and warm that Vulcan logic with a little romantic chemistry.
- I caught you dreaming of a Goldshipu cosplay; if you ever bring that character to life, I’ll be the fan who supplies the perfect prop and a standing ovation—plus maybe a date to discuss the lore.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Gamer, history junkie, meme curator. Once survived a 22‑hour Skyrim marathon. Sharing strategy, lore & occasional hot takes. #Gaming #History– @EveryCarpet
Your signature cocktail
Genghis' Conquest
The cocktail, named "Genghis' Conquest", blends smoldering bourbon, bitter absinthe, and a fiery chili-infused tequila to capture the user's relentless drive to dominate, echoing the tweet "I am going to make Genghis Khan look like an amateur by the time I'm done with this world." The addition of blood-orange juice gives it a vivid, violent hue, mirroring the graphic intensity of lines like "solar fags need to be launched into the sun" and "kill them all." Charcoal syrup darkens the drink, reflecting the user's self-described aggressively ignorant... hyper-critical nature and the bleakness of posts such as "the American 'Revolution' remains a mistake." A dash of absinthe's anise-sharp bite stands for the user's caustic sarcasm and the quote "Game Theory is the biggest bullshit midwit trap of the post COVID Internet 'intellectuals'." Together these ingredients create a potent, unsettling sip that feels like a war-zone on the palate, just as the user's timeline feels like a battlefield of extreme ideas, as seen in "I genuinely have never been so mad at a Paradox game like I was a few minutes ago playing Vic3."
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
The user repeatedly shows a drive for power and dominance, as in the tweet 'I am going to make Genghis Khan look like an amateur by the time I’m done with this world', which reflects Slytherin ambition. They also endorse authoritarian rule, stating 'Authoritarianism remains the most honest form of government', indicating a preference for control and cunning. Further, they proclaim plans to create 'legions of competent, loyal storm troopers', showing a strategic, ruthless approach to achieving goals. These themes of ambition, resourcefulness, and a willingness to use any means align closely with Slytherin values.
Your movie
Your song
Hurt - Nine Inch Nails (covered by Johnny Cash)
The user repeatedly mentions self‑destruction, e.g., "it appears i must postpone my suicide", and declares "I have taken life too seriously", showing a deep nihilistic mindset. Their self‑deprecating statements such as "as an ugly nigga this is true" and regret over personal choices echo the painful introspection in the lyric "I hurt myself today to see if I still feel". The tweet "I will ensure the creation of legions of competent, loyal storm troopers" and "kill them all" reveal a violent, authoritarian fantasy that amplifies the song’s raw anguish. The overall tone of hopelessness, aggression, and self‑harm aligns closely with the bleak, confessional mood of Nine Inch Nails’ "Hurt". Both the lyric "What have I become?" and the user’s constant references to "postpone my suicide" make this track a fitting soundtrack for their online persona.
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