EW
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Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The best Simpsons match is Kent Brockman, the news anchor whose job is to turn entertainment and celebrity happenings into headline-ready bites — exactly what EW does across its feed. Like Kent, EW blends breaking moments, celeb quotes, and a newsroom style of delivery in punchy headlines (for example, ''Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes' scored the top spot' and 'Our latest cover story for '#Furiosa...'). The tone is institutional and focused on what viewers want to know, making Kent — a professional broadcaster of pop culture moments — the closest analogue.

Your MBTI personality Type
EW projects an ESFJ profile: outgoing and community-oriented (extraverted) because the account is devoted to cultural conversation and audience service—sharing lists and guides like 'Here’s how to watch every Marvel movie in order.' They rely on concrete, sensory details (sensing) — box-office numbers ('$129 million global opening'), release dates, and on-the-ground recaps. Their editorial choices often center on people and relationships (feeling), evident in personal profiles like Olivia Munn's family-focused quote: 'It was the best decision for me because I needed to be present for my family.' Finally, they operate with structure and scheduling (judging): 'Check out EW's handy guide to the summer movie schedule' and many organized recaps show a planned, audience-service mindset.

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Your new Twitter bio
Entertainment Weekly — Your daily front row to film, TV, music and pop culture. Cover stories, exclusive first looks, festival picks and the headlines that matter — from box office to backstage. Based in LA. #Furiosa– @EW

Your signature cocktail
The 'Cover Shot' is effervescent and polished — like EW’s glossy mix of features and headlines. Champagne evokes premiere-night glamour (think cover stories and first looks), elderflower brings a modern, floral sweetness to match human-interest pieces like Olivia Munn's family-focused quote, and lemon/bitters keep the drink grounded like EW's obits and industry reporting ('Roger Corman ... has died'). A touch of gold dust mirrors the shiny, clickable bits the feed collects (viral moments, box-office numbers, and exclusive scoops).

Your Hogwarts House
EW fits Ravenclaw because it collects, curates, and explains pop-culture knowledge for an audience seeking context and first looks. They publish guides and ordered reading/viewing plans — 'Here’s how to watch every Marvel movie in order on Disney+' — which reflects Ravenclaw's love of organized learning. Their frequent 'exclusive' reporting and behind-the-scenes explanations show an editorial curiosity and analytical bent rather than pure bravado. While they cover emotional stories, the core impulse is to inform the reader about culture with depth and clarity.

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Your song
Billy Joel’s rapid-fire catalogue of cultural events mirrors EW’s scroll of headlines and pop-culture snapshots: one tweet after another references celebrities, premieres, scandals, and historical notes — much like 'We Didn't Start the Fire' listing moment after moment. EW’s timeline reads like a steady roll-call of cultural touchpoints (obits, box office numbers, viral moments), which makes this song a thematic match.

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