
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Like Lisa, this user is a highly intellectual and socially aware student who often feels isolated by their unique identity and strong moral stances. They share Lisa's academic intensity, noting that one shouldn't study law “if you don't want to pay 20k for 4 books,” and they frequently lecture others on history and religion, such as when they critique those who “think a book that has been simplified over the years is a better source than the Torah.” Despite their progressive views on gender being a “propaganda created by clothing companies,” they often experience the same 'gifted child' burnout and cynicism as Lisa, lamenting the “middle school level history knowledge” of those around them. Their blend of activism, artistic hobbies, and frustration with societal norms perfectly mirrors the Simpson family's resident overachiever.

Your MBTI personality Type
Albert exhibits Extroversion (E) through his constant, opinionated engagement with online discourse and a vocal desire for popularity, as seen when he asks, “look im so proplematic can i be popular now”. His Intuition (N) is evident in his interest in abstract systems like “world religions” and ideologies rather than mundane daily details. He demonstrates Thinking (T) through a blunt, often abrasive communication style, frequently mocking the logic of others, such as when he critiques “interpretations of the Talmud”. Finally, his Perceiving (P) trait shows in his chaotic, spontaneous tweet style and his admission of “overdosing on coke” and gambling, reflecting a high-risk, unscripted lifestyle.

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Your new Twitter bio
Ashkenazi law student balancing Turkish-German heritage. When I’m not debunking history myths or drawing, I’m recovering from the chaos of Frankfurt’s S-Bahn.– @ezekielfanfan

Your signature cocktail
This drink is as complex and contradictory as Albert, who describes himself as an “Ashkenazi” student living in Turkey while frequently visiting “iğrenç frankfurta”. The Slivovitz honors his “şabat şalom” tradition, while the Pomegranate reflects his heritage and the fact that he is “doğustan iki elimide aynı şekilde” (ambidextrous). It’s a strong, experimental cocktail for someone who survived “madde kullanmam gerektiği günler” and is served with a literal steak of beef garnish because “you are my biggest beefsteak”.

Your Hogwarts House
Albert exhibits a strong sense of self-preservation and a distinct 'us vs. them' mentality, often prioritizing his own identity and heritage while maintaining a sharp, exclusionary wit. He shows a resourceful and elitist streak when judging others' intellectual or social credentials, such as when he asks people to “name 5 songs” by Nirvana before befriending them. His ambition is underscored by his pride in his unique Ashkenazi and multinational background, combined with a blunt, sometimes provocative leadership style in digital spaces where he declares, “I am milliyetçi (nationalist) and proud of my nation”. Furthermore, his desire for status and his edgy, self-aware aesthetic are highlighted when he asks, “look im so proplematic can i be popular now”, illustrating the classic Slytherin pursuit of recognition through a carefully curated persona.

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Your song
This song perfectly mirrors the user's blend of dark aesthetic irony and their navigation of complex, often contradictory identities. They openly embrace an edgy, 'problematic' online persona, tweeting “look im so proplematic can i be popular now #edgy #incelcore”, which aligns with the song's themes of disillusionment and aestheticized gloom. The track's synth-pop but melancholic vibe captures their struggle with addiction and recovery, as seen in their admission that “the veins in my nose broke because I overdosed on coke”. Furthermore, the lyrics regarding shifting masks and social dynamics resonate with their constant defense of their Jewish, Turkish, and queer identities against online hostility, noting they are “SO TIRED OF DRAWING... ALWAYS BUSY” while fighting off 'trolls' and 'normies' in their own Little Dark Age.

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ezekielfanfan
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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