
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
They most closely match Lisa Simpson, who is intelligent, obsessive about her interests, and struggles with perfectionism and self-worth. Like Lisa getting hyper-focused on causes or hobbies, this user fixates on yogurt and protein to an extreme degree, proudly tracking things like “three. i ingested THREE BITCHASS KILOGRAMS OF YOGURT IN A WEEK.” and celebrating niche finds such as “YALL LOOK AT MY NEW BOWL AND CUTLERY”. Their academic side and pressure on themself echo Lisa too, as seen in tweets like “Passed this stinking semester Fuck” and “Also I have an exam in like 5 hours and I’ve barely studied”. The self-criticism and intense standards around food and body image, such as “I feel like 700 calories is so much :( I remember being able to eat ~500… I feel FAT”, mirror Lisa’s tendency to be harsh on herself when she doesn’t live up to her own ideals. At the same time, their creativity and longing for art — “WHY DID I STOP DRAWING… MY ART WAS SO FUCCCKING PEAK I MISS ART” — reflects Lisa’s artistic, expressive side.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Introvert (I): most activities are solitary (walking to avoid eating, gaming, drawing, working out), and their social world is small and family‑centered, e.g. anxiety about parents and home: “No aesthetic yogurt bowls today bc my family is home and I had to rush all my meals 😕☹️☹️😕☹️😕” and bringing a 3DS to work to cope with monotony: “Charged my 3ds finally and brought it to work bc this place is so monotonous”. They are strongly Sensing (S), obsessing over concrete details like exact calories and product specs rather than abstract theories: “three. i ingested THREE BITCHASS KILOGRAMS OF YOGURT IN A WEEK.” and “By dinner I will have eaten 18 tubs of 0% Fage so far this month 15 of them being the 150g tubs 3 of them being the 450g tubs 2 of them being the 950g tubs”. Their decision‑making is clearly Feeling (F) as they evaluate themselves emotionally and relationally rather than logically, using intense self‑criticism and mood language: “I actually want to die rn I feel obese I know there’s no way in hell I ate more than 750 calories today I just feel so gross because I can’t stop eating” and “Didn’t weigh myself today because I’m a fat chud”. They appear Judging (J) because they rely on rigid routines, tracking, and advance planning (step targets, calorie ceilings, and structured study/workout days): “Apple Watch mfs of edtwt what’s ur January challenge Mine is 19 five minute outdoor walks” and “Wieiad 640 calories Will repeat tomorrow”. The combination of introverted, detail‑oriented, emotionally driven, and highly scheduled behavior best fits ISFJ overall.

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19 • they/them • Yogurt maximalist who passed the semester somehow. Drawing, lifting, Nintendo breaks & pretending Fage shortages build character.– @fangbones

Your signature cocktail
The Vanilla Greek yogurt–infused vodka is a nod to their all-consuming Fage obsession and yogurt bowls, like when they bragged about tubs with “three. i ingested THREE BITCHASS KILOGRAMS OF YOGURT IN A WEEK.” and panicked that “Ok guys we get it the Japanese cheesecake trend is fun and all but can we please move on BECAUSE FAGE IS LITERALLY OUT OF STOCKKKKK”. The sugar-free energy drink channels their grindy, hyper, step-obsessed energy, like pacing and Apple Watch challenges in “Apple Watch mfs of edtwt what’s ur January challenge Mine is 19 five minute outdoor walks” and their Red Bull experiments in “My dad bought sf redbull because my brother and I were fantasizing about redbull vodka but I have a better idea”. Strawberry syrup represents their cute, aesthetic side and love of strawberry-themed bowls in “Strawberry themed yogurt is my fav thing ever I can’t stop eating it”. Konjac jelly cubes stand for their low-cal, high-volume hacks and ED-twt min-maxing in “I fell for the konjac jelly pouch propaganda and I’m hooked. They’re so tasty and filling yummm”. Finally, a dash of sea salt captures the self-deprecating, darkly funny edge in lines like “Watch where you’re going bc I might just turn into a dust speck 🤏” and “I actually want to die rn I feel obese I know there’s no way in hell I ate more than 750 calories today I just feel so gross because I can’t stop eating”, balancing their sweetness with something sharp and real.

Your Hogwarts House
They show a strong, almost meticulous love of structure, self‑monitoring, and optimization that fits Ravenclaw’s analytical streak. Their daily wieiad logs like “Wieiad 690 calories Is it obvious that I’m obsessed w yogurt atm?” and “Wieiad 640 calories Will repeat tomorrow Except maybe I’ll have pancakes for dinner 🤔” reveal a methodical, data‑driven mindset. They also constantly tweak and experiment with food and flavors, e.g. “Drop ur flavor ideas I was thinking cinnamon roll again but I need ideas” and creative constructions like “white chocolate vanilla yogurt bowl ⊹˚₊𓏲 🍦🥣🤍 ——details in alt”, which shows inventive, almost artistic problem‑solving. Their enthusiasm for learning and exams shows up in tweets like “I actually studied today and I’ve already gotten my steps and workouts done I’m going to reward myself with video games and drawing” and “Passed this stinking semester Fuck”, emphasizing academic persistence. Even their workouts are approached like experiments—“I’ll try a hyrox inspired workout Will report back later 🫡🫡”—which reinforces a curious, exploratory nature more characteristic of Ravenclaw than of the other houses.

Your movie

Your song
A song that fits them well is Bury a Friend by Billie Eilish, which captures a dark, obsessive relationship with one’s own body and mind. Their bio highlights an extremely low BMI and fixation on high/med restriction, and tweets like “I feel like 700 calories is so much:( I remember being able to eat ~500 during the summer. I feel FAT” and “I actually want to die rn I feel obese I know there’s no way in hell I ate more than 750 calories today I just feel so gross because I can’t stop eating” show a self-destructive internal voice similar to the song’s narrator. The track’s eerie, compulsive tone mirrors their looping thoughts about food and control, like “Should I up my intake to like 700 because I feel like I’m always so hungry and thinking about food 😭” and “Going on a walk to avoid eating everything in the house 😭 😭”. At the same time, the song’s surreal, almost theatrical darkness matches how they oscillate between humor and despair, as seen in “Watch where you’re going bc I might just turn into a dust speck 🤏” and “Me and my 2g of fat against the world”. Overall, Bury a Friend encapsulates their haunted, hyper-self-aware struggle with their body and identity.

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