
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The overall mix of chaotic humor, self-deprecation, and online gremlin energy fits Bart Simpson best. They constantly joke in an edgy, unserious way, like calling themselves a “fat fucking chud” in “67 hahahaahhah im such a fat fucking chud” and making absurd posts such as “GIVEAWAY !!! participate and win 5 kg of COCAINE (picture below)”, which echoes Bart’s prankster vibe. Their love of niche/nerdy media and gaming, from “now that ive actually had a seinen experience…” to “durpee tourney with my silver friends”, aligns with Bart’s obsession with TV, comics, and games. The way they commentate on drama and mock online discourse, like “fujimoto ALLEGEDLY watches/watched porn and now hes literally hitler can we stop with this fucking drama bro”, fits Bart’s irreverent, anti-authority streak. Even their half-serious, half-joking loneliness and attention-seeking posts such as “how do i engagement farm when every single person who like is private bro” feel very Bart-coded: a chaotic kid at heart, loudly joking his way through boredom and frustration.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Introvert: they joke about not leaving the house (“my life360 exposing me for not leaving the house in more than a week”) and struggling to get engagement or people in VC (“i been in vc for 3 hours bro and 1 person joined for an hour”), and their humor is very terminally-online/observer-ish rather than socially performative. Their focus on media analysis, meta-commentary, and patterns in fandoms/games suggests Intuition: they talk about how a genre treats them (“that genre treats me like a sub 80 iq nonce”), complain about gacha design as a general system (“this deadass what i realised with genshin and then extended it to every single gacha i play”), and comment on cultural dynamics like vtuber hate (“lewdtubers… directly cause at least 20% of all vtuber hate”). Their tone is blunt, critical, and logic-driven, pointing to Thinking: they call out people as “retarded goycattle slave to apple” over pricing logic (“you are genuinely a retarded goycattle slave to apple if you think a checkup… should cost anywhere near $800”) and dissect drama with a detached, evaluative stance (“can we stop with this fucking drama bro it literally does not matter in the slightest”). Their life appears unstructured and spontaneous, matching Perceiving: they meme about coughing for weeks without acting (“i been coughing and shit for like 3 weeks now i think”), joke about nails almost snapping off instead of planning self-care (“it might be time for me to trim one of my thumb nails… shit about to start snapping off as i type”), and generally drift between games, anime, and online discourse without any sign of rigid scheduling or long-term planning. Overall, the mix of inward-focused, analytical, highly online commentary, plus casual chaos and strong opinions, aligns best with INTP.

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Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Part-time cough enthusiast, full-time anime, VTuber & game enjoyer. Once dreamed a Genshin skin into existence and still thinks about it.– @fijaxh_

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail hits like their timeline: loud, messy, and weirdly heartfelt. The overproof dark rum is for their unfiltered, occasionally feral posting style, like calling themselves a “fat fucking chud” in “67 hahahaahhah im such a fat fucking chud” and saying they’re “genuinely a retarded goycattle slave to apple” in “you are genuinely a retarded goycattle slave to apple…”. Matcha syrup brings a nerdy, online-gremlin sweetness that nods to their anime/gacha/VTuber side in posts like “now that ive actually had a seinen experience…” and “i still dont know how projection sorcery works im ngl”. Grapefruit juice adds a sharp, bitter edge for their cynical, chronic-complainer energy—coughing for weeks in “i been coughing and shit for like 3 weeks now i think” and roasting everything from streamer awards to lewdtubers in “i fucking hate lewdtubers bro…”. The charcoal-black salt rim represents their edgelord humor and dark online aesthetic, fitting tweets like “fuh no bruh im shooting my CO in the skull if im pulled into a fucking war” and their goth-adjacent vibe in posts like “blasian women..... blasian women please...... save me”. Strong, slightly bitter, but secretly sweet and niche—just like someone who proudly announces “fijaxh is finally unbanned” in “fijaxh is finally unbanned” and begs for money in their bio.

Your Hogwarts House
Their timeline shows a strong streak of self‑preservation and ruthless pragmatism that leans Slytherin. When talking about being drafted, they go straight to an extreme, self‑protective response: “fuh no bruh im shooting my CO in the skull if im pulled into a fucking war”, which is less about noble bravery and more about rejecting sacrifice for others. They also show a willingness to be cutting or cruel for effect, e.g. “you are genuinely a retarded goycattle slave to apple if you think a checkup for a laptop should cost anywhere near $800” and “already had multiple post saying ion like her that’s how you know im a real demon”, suggesting a comfort with sharp, adversarial rhetoric. There’s a clear awareness of social dynamics and image, like joking about engagement farming and mysterious aura: “thats that mysterious stranger aura to get 3 replys to my message after they been talking already for like 2 3 hours”, which fits Slytherin’s social savvy and self‑positioning. While they are funny and introspective at times, the dominant vibe is of someone who values being sharp‑witted, somewhat ruthless, and protective of their own interests and comfort—quintessentially Slytherin rather than Gryffindor idealism, Hufflepuff warmth, or Ravenclaw academic curiosity.

Your movie

Your song
A chaotic, ironic, and self-deprecating tone runs through their posts in a way that fits the rebellious slacker energy of Smells Like Teen Spirit. They joke about their own health and body like in “i been coughing and shit for like 3 weeks now i think” and “67 hahahaahhah im such a fat fucking chud”, echoing the song’s mix of angst and apathy. Their timeline is full of niche anime, gaming, and internet culture references, and they even observe their own posting habits with lines like “omg i cant even think for myself my latest 10 posts are basically all reposts”, which feels very "here we are now, entertain us." The sarcastic aggression aimed at broader culture and brands, such as “you are genuinely a retarded goycattle slave to apple if you think a checkup for a laptop should cost anywhere near $800”, aligns with the anti-establishment undercurrent of the song. Overall, they project the exact mix of irony, frustration, and playful nihilism that Smells Like Teen Spirit embodies.

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