Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Creative thinker: Builds spreadsheets and calculations about fictional business, e.g. estimating the Onceler’s revenue using exponential functions in “Istg I will NEVER use this shit outside of school…exponential functions to find how long the Onceler's business lasted” and “my estimate for how much money the onceler made is 105 million and 400 thousand dollars”.
- Humorous playful: Uses exaggerated bits and memes like “I'm #biggering that dent in my bed by #sleeping...Don't #forget to buy #Thneeds while I'm gone!” and mock-offended posts like “I have noticed that although I have 81 followers, I am not receiving 81 replies & likes…compiled a spreadsheet”.
- Self‑aware: Reflects on their behavior and identity, e.g. “i dont even know if i count as a capitalist or not i think im just constantly in character and it does indeed scare me” and discussing delusions/identification in “i think i just kinda started experiencing it bc i rly hated myself for a long time”.
- Emotionally honest: Open about frustration and insecurity, such as “being 14 is highkey lame asf… i truly cannot be fucked with this shit” and childhood insecurity in “when i was 10 i was insecure singing because i thought my voice was too low pitched”.
- Curious learner: Shows interest in languages and skills, e.g. “i want to learn indonesian and japanese, i only kinda know them tho” and reflecting on school math relevancy in “Istg I will NEVER use this shit outside of school…before realising he was gonna have to use exponential functions”.
Weaknesses:
- Harsh language: Frequently uses aggressive or hostile wording, e.g. “i wish the aaaabsolute worst on the oncelers mom bro she can fuckung eot ohrmsmskps o hate her sm” and “same bitch that constantly plays victim btw… stfu 💔”.
- Self‑deprecating: Talks down on self and future, like “being 14 is highkey lame asf… live in a dumpster already” and joking about minimal wealth in “this bitch has 6 dollars to his name irl btw least rich capitalist”.
- Attention‑seeking: Expresses frustration when not getting engagement, e.g. “GENUINELY GUYS WHY DOES NO ONE CARE 😭😭😭😭😭” and “I have noticed that although I have 81 followers, I am not receiving 81 replies & likes on all my tweets”.
- Impulsive posting: Tweets emotionally in the moment, including caps and spam like “BDNDBVSGGSSGGWFYKR6OR96YODETU1W464WIEI46EI46EI46R578R…” and “IM NOT OKAY.” without much filtering.
- Negativity focus: Frequently highlights enemies, revenge, and cancel talk, e.g. “5 things I like… 3. revenge 4. pain (sometimes)” and “my enemy #2 apparently has hugh morris as their pfp… ANTI HUGH MORRIS PAGE”.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
They match Bart Simpson best: chaotic, jokey, and constantly toeing the line between bit and sincerity. Their feed is full of gleeful troublemaking and faux-edgy posts like “you're all going to jail!” and “my enemy #2 apparently has hugh morris as their pfp. this is officially an ANTI HUGH MORRIS PAGE.”, which echoes Bart’s love of melodramatic feuds and pranks. The way they lean into over-the-top capitalism bits—“I'm #biggering that dent in my bed by #sleeping...Don't #forget to buy #Thneeds while I'm gone! 😜😜😜💵💵💵” and “hold on lemme skew the resultss uhhhh #money #capitalism #profits”—feels like Bart doing an in-character gag more than a sincere adult take. They also show bursts of surprisingly thoughtful reflection under the shitposting, like using math to estimate Onceler’s profits in “so fun fact! my estimate for how much money the onceler made is 105 million and 400 thousand dollars :3”, similar to how Bart occasionally reveals hidden competence. Overall, the mix of mischief, bit-driven persona, dramatic enemies, and underlying sensitivity lines up far more with Bart than with more earnest characters like Lisa or more grounded ones like Marge.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENTP
They read as an Extravert because they openly seek interaction and audience response, joking about follower engagement and hosting spaces: “I have noticed that although I have 81 followers, I am not receiving 81 replies & likes on all my tweets.” and “whatever man I fucking give up hosting spaces”. Their interests are highly conceptual and lore-focused, pointing to Intuition: “5 things I like and no one to do the same! 1. onceler 2. lore 3. revenge 4. pain (sometimes) 5. teal” and their long thread calculating Onceler’s business lifespan with exponential functions shows a love of abstract patterns: “Istg I will NEVER use this shit outside of school’ was what a fool named Friya said before realising he was gonna have to use exponential functions to find how long the Onceler's business lasted”. They present as Thinking-leaning, often analyzing systems like capitalism and corporations in a detached way: “i finally actually really understand why corporations do the shit they do it really does make a difference??? like holy shit a 10 dollar change makes a 50 MILLION dollar difference”, and using mock-cold capitalist humor: “NEVER kill yourself because there's always a 0.0001% chance you may one day become rich! #CapitalismTips #NeverKillYourself”. Their behavior is very Perceiving: impulsive, chaotic, and in-character rather than structured—e.g. spammy keysmash tweets like “BDNDBVSGGSSGGWFYKR6OR96YODETU1W464WIEI46EI46EI46R578RTTORURTUITIERYIRRYIRIYDRYI…” and joking about being constantly in character: “i dont even know if i count as a capitalist or not i think im just constantly in character and it does indeed scare me”. The combination of outward energy, love for debates and systems (capitalism, lore, calculations), irony-heavy humor, and spontaneity fits ENTP better than any other type.
Some pickup lines for you
- You’re out here calculating the Onceler’s $105,400,000 revenue with exponential functions, but I’m just trying to figure out the growth rate of my feelings every time you tweet about his ‘skirty coatt.’
- If love is in the air and you’re yelling ‘WRONG! SMOGULOUS SMOKE ☁️☁️☁️,’ does that mean I need to buy a Thneed just to wrap myself around you instead?
- You said your dream job is basically ‘sleep’ and that you’re ‘#biggering that dent’ in your bed—wanna collaborate on a joint sleep study where we scientifically test optimal cuddle positions?
- You listed ‘revenge’ and ‘pain (sometimes)’ in your 5 things you like, but don’t worry, I’m here to offer you a sixth: someone who actually votes on your polls and cares way too much about your OldTwitter Firefox rants.
- You may ‘wish the absolute worst’ on the Onceler’s mom, but I’m wishing the absolute best for you—gravity may fall, Bill Cipher may scheme, but my favorite cursed fixation on your timeline is definitely you.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
14 • he/they • AuDHD. Researching Onceler economics & Bill Cipher lore instead of sleeping. Once calculated a fictional CEO’s revenue for fun.– @friyangle
Your signature cocktail
How Bad Can My Thneed Be-tini
This experimental, slightly chaotic drink leans sweet but hits hard, just like their hyperfixation-fueled capitalism bits in “I'm #biggering that dent in my bed by #sleeping...Don't #forget to buy #Thneeds while I'm gone! 😜😜😜💵💵💵” and “hold on lemme skew the resultss uhhhh #money #capitalism #profits”. Electric blue curaçao mirrors their love of teal and blue-haired-pronoun-havers in “who here has blue hair and pronouns” and their stated fave color in “probably teal”. Matcha-infused vodka stands in for their fixation on the Onceler’s green aesthetic in “'hey onceler' and he is green 😭😭😭” and general Lorax brainrot in “man i love the onceler”. Teal raspberry soda keeps it bright, fizzy, and underage-friendly in spirit, nodding to their age and self-aware immaturity in “LMFAOAOAO the final length if the song is 4:20 😭😭😭😭😭 am i actually 12”. Smoky lapsang souchong syrup represents the darker, revenge-plot side of them from “5 things I like and no one to do the same! 1. onceler 2. lore 3. revenge 4. pain (sometimes) 5. teal” and their smog jokes in “Love is in the air? WRONG! SMOGULOUS SMOKE ☁️☁️☁️☁️🌬️🌬️”. Finally, the pop-rocks sugar rim captures their glitchy, caps-lock explosions like “BDNDBVSGGSSGGWFYKR6OR96YODETU1W464WIEI46EI46EI46R578RTTORURTUITIERYIRRYIRIYDRYI...” and their overall loud, sparkly, AuDHD-coded energy.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
They show a strong analytical streak and genuine enjoyment of thinking through problems. For example, they dive into applied math just to estimate the Onceler’s business, saying “oh my fucking god formulas are beautiful” and detailing how they used exponential functions and changing output rates in “Istg I will NEVER use this shit outside of school' was what a fool named Friya said before realising he was gonna have to use exponential functions to find how long the Onceler's business lasted” and “so like i'm gonna assume trees went down faster and thneeds sold faster as it went on hmmm so tph (thneed per hour) will go up over time. okok im figuring it out”. That combination of curiosity and joy in problem‑solving is very Ravenclaw-coded. They also engage in language/phonetics play for fun, as in “Sorry. Using the correct IPA this time. 'kmɒaɒaɒan'”, which points to an enjoyment of precise knowledge. Their interest in learning languages like Indonesian and Japanese in “i want to learn indonesian and japanese, i only kinda know them tho” further reinforces a love of learning. While they have some Slytherin-adjacent ironic capitalism jokes (e.g. “hold on lemme skew the resultss uhhhh #money #capitalism #profits”), these are clearly more bit/character than core motivation, whereas the consistent pattern of curiosity, analysis, and intellectual play fits Ravenclaw best.
Your movie
Your song
I'm the Bad Guy - Wander Over Yonder (Lord Dominator's Song)
A perfect fit for them is "I'm the Bad Guy" from Wander Over Yonder, because it has the same playful villain-obsessed energy they show toward the Onceler and Bill Cipher. They gleefully fixate on morally dubious characters, saying things like “man i love the onceler” and listing their interests as “onceler, lore, revenge, pain (sometimes)” in “5 things I like and no one to do the same!”. The song’s tongue-in-cheek celebration of being the "bad guy" mirrors their ironic capitalism bit in tweets like “I should get on #capitalismtwt” and “I'm #biggering that dent in my bed by #sleeping...Don't #forget to buy #Thneeds while I'm gone!”. Their enthusiasm for dramatic, slightly evil aesthetics—such as “Love is in the air? WRONG! SMOGULOUS SMOKE ☁️☁️☁️☁️🌬️🌬️”—fits the song’s over-the-top villain vibe. Even their joking hatred for characters like the Onceler’s mom in “i wish the aaaabsolute worst on the oncelers mom bro she can fuckung eot... i hate her sm” aligns with the dramatic, theatrical meanness the song revels in.
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