
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Like the cynical and blunt Patty, Mari possesses a biting wit and a low tolerance for the incompetence or unpleasantness of others, especially in the workplace. She isn't afraid to be vocal about her disdain, wondering if “it’s unethical to get someone fired over body odour” and frequently live-shaming those who annoy her. Her personality is defined by a sarcastic, often pessimistic outlook on social life, famously declaring that “being gay is a disease” or that “ain’t shit to be proud of” during Pride month. Much like Patty’s obsession with MacGyver, Mari is deeply immersed in her own niche interests like The Traitors UK, finding joy in seeing people “taken for a fool” on screen. Ultimately, her combination of dry humor, open queerness, and a perpetually unimpressed attitude makes her the perfect modern-day counterpart to the legendary Bouvier twin.

Your MBTI personality Type
Mari exhibits Extroversion (E) through her constant externalization of thoughts and high engagement with pop culture, even “stuttering in front of the pretty girl” in social settings. Her Intuition (N) is seen in her focus on personal vibes and drama over hard facts, as she seeks to “immerse myself in pronto” new narratives. She leans toward Feeling (F), prioritizing her emotional state and personal values, such as when she “cussed out my manager for no reason” because she was feeling overwhelmed. Finally, her Perceiving (P) trait is evident in her impulsive spending—having “used up my whole pay check” in five days—and her generally spontaneous, reaction-based approach to life.

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Your new Twitter bio
London-based professional struggling with office hygiene and sudoku. I’ve survived accidental money laundering and a Scientology recruitment pitch. 🍉– @garuyah

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail is a vibrant, experimental mix that matches Mari’s high-drama and blunt personality. It captures her tendency to get tongue-tied around “the pretty girl today at blank street” while packing a punch for someone who admits “my productivity has dropped by 80%” due to workplace distractions. The sweet-yet-bitter profile is essential for a girl who says “i need some new drama to immerse myself in pronto” and refuses to share her scent because it's a “top secret recipe”. It's served ice cold, just like her humor when she says “fuck everyone and their girlfriends”.

Your Hogwarts House
Mari consistently prioritizes her own comfort and self-preservation, such as when she “lied to someone who asked what perfume i use” because it is a “top secret recipe.” Her ambition is colored by a sharp, judgmental wit and a desire for high-status physical traits, evidenced by her excitement to have “mommy milker knockers soon” and her disdain for anyone she deems “goblin shit” compared to tall women. She displays a classic Slytherin ruthlessness regarding workplace dynamics, questioning “if it’s unethical to get someone fired over body odour” after her subtle hints failed to work. Even her entertainment choices lean toward the cunning, as she celebrated that the “traitors won” and enjoys watching others be taken for a fool.

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Mari’s online presence is defined by a bold, unapologetic attitude and a sharp, humorous edge that matches the swagger of Bad Girls. She frequently shares her unfiltered thoughts on work and identity, such as when she admitted, “kinda crazy how i haven’t been fired yet” or when she jokingly declared, “this my last year being gay fr fr”. Her tweets often center on her chaotic daily life, including her workplace grievances like having to “figure out if it’s unethical to get someone fired over body odour”. With her location set to palestina libre 🇵🇸 and her tendency to “start a fight with someone” just for the drama, she embodies the high-energy, rebellious spirit of the track. Ultimately, her mix of cultural pride, queer identity, and a “riding solo” mentality makes this confident anthem the perfect fit.

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garuyah
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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