
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The best match is Lisa Simpson, but as if Lisa had been swallowed by a very online, self-destructive corner of the internet. Like Lisa, this user is highly self-reflective and emotionally intense, often overanalyzing their own behavior and feelings, such as when they say they might have to stop self-harm even though they don’t want to (“I might have to stop #sh for a little ugh kms”). Lisa’s tendency to feel isolated and misunderstood also resonates with this user’s frustration with others minimizing their struggles, like when their mom reacts poorly to seeing their leg wounds (“FOR ONCE THINK OF OTHER PEOPLE Also why call me an attention seeker like boi theres a reason I hide it”). The user shows a dark, hyper-verbal, almost morbid humor that parallels Lisa’s more cynical, burnt-out moments, for instance joking about liver damage from pills (“lax alc and other pills gave me a high chance of liver damage IM DYING YOUNG WOOHOO”). There’s also a strong ethical/emotional core under all the chaos—worrying deeply about an online friend’s possible suicide (“I think he really did it. Im really sad I hope he found peace and comfort”)—which fits Lisa’s underlying compassion, even when she feels overwhelmed and hopeless.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Introvert (I): most posts revolve around internal experiences, body image, and private struggles rather than active socializing, e.g. “I want to dress and feel cute cus I feel disgusting and ugly, but i cant dress up or feel cute cus I actually look disgusting and ugly.” and “Sometimes I forget normalywt exists then I comment on their post and get flamed for nothing”, which shows social exhaustion rather than energizing from others. They seem more Intuitive (N) than concrete Sensing: even when mentioning specific behaviors, they quickly turn them into bigger meanings or dramatic images, like “Anyone els wish they could cut CHUNCKS of myself off so I can cook it? Anyone?” and “With ana anything is possible”, showing metaphorical, exaggerated thinking rather than simple factual focus. The heavy emphasis on emotions, validation, and relationships points to Feeling (F): “So my mom saw my leg.. im actually fighting her cus how do u manage to give me a pep talk ab how it’s worse for u AND THEN tell me your not going to care” and “I think one of my fav oomfs is gon… ik its only been 6days but im worried and I hope their okay” show hurt around empathy, connection, and feeling misunderstood. Their lifestyle looks chaotic and impulsive rather than structured, so Perceiving (P) fits: they repeatedly describe lack of control and spontaneity like “I keep binging KILL ME”, “Im actually becoming a benny addict again i needa stop”, and “I’m getting a thousand soon hmm what to buy drugs,…. walking pad,… blades, maybe some exercise equipment Any suggestions:3”, with little sign of long-term planning. Overall, the combination of intense inner emotional world, metaphorical/dark imaginative language, sensitivity to others’ feelings, and disorganized, spur-of-the-moment behavior aligns best with INFP.

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Your new Twitter bio
Cat parent, accidental ER speedrunner, and chronic overthinker. Learning to swap chaos for coping skills, one awkward story at a time.– @Glutonouskitt3n

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail is sweet and deceptively cute on the surface, just like their kitten persona and thigh-gap celebration, shimmering with edible glitter to match the playful vanity in “Purr kitty purr:3” and “I WAS SITTING ON THE BUS AND I HAVE A THIGH GAP WOOHOOO”. Peach schnapps and blue curaçao give a bright, candy vibe that echoes their dramatic, online-drama energy in posts like “i take a day brake and 2 oomfs are getting canceled wdh” and “IM CRIN what are they on”. The base of fresh pineapple juice is a nod to their unhinged pineapple saga and binge guilt in “Yo wait a whole pineapple is 400 500 cals WAIT” and “My mom is feeding into my binge SHE KNOWS I LOVE PINAPPLE SHE GOT ME 3”. A dangerous splash of absinthe represents their flirtation with drugs and self-destruction in “Im actually becoming a benny addict again i needa stop”, “lax alc and other pills gave me a high chance of liver damage IM DYING YOUNG WOOHOO”, and their #drugtwt identity in “— ˗ˋ୨ #moothunt +#promotwt ୧ˊ˗ — ꕤ #edtwt ꕤ #shedtwt ꕤ #drugtwt ꕤ #suicidetwt ꕤ #goretwt”. Finally, the chili-salt rim bites back, mirroring their self-hate, dark humor, and self-harm themes in “Pre cut setup👀🥹”, “I might have to stop #sh for a little ugh kms”, and the bitter frustration of “I want to dress and feel cute cus I feel disgusting and ugly”. This is a strong, chaotic, experimental drink: sugary at first sip, but with a burn that lingers—just like Kitty’s timeline.

Your Hogwarts House
Their timeline shows intense ambition and single‑minded focus on goals, even when it’s harmful: they obsess over rapid weight loss and appearance, asking things like “Okay #edtwt on a SERIOUS note how much weight can i lose starting now till Valentine’s Day I NEED TO LOOK GOOD just in case” and celebrating thigh gaps in “I WAS SITTING ON THE BUS AND I HAVE A THIGH GAP WOOHOOO”. They’re also openly strategic and transactional about social dynamics, promoting their account with follow‑back hunts in “— ˗ˋ୨ #moothunt +#promotwt ୧ˊ˗ — ꕤ #edtwt ꕤ #shedtwt ꕤ #drugtwt ꕤ #suicidetwt ♡+ ↺ ifb ࿐” and worrying about follower counts in “I JUST LOST A FOLLOWER WHAT I DO OOMF”. Their willingness to consider extreme means to achieve their aims—whether body‑related or emotional—shows ruthless resourcefulness, like debating purchases such as “drugs,…. walking pad,… blades, maybe some exercise equipment” to change themselves or cope. While they have flashes of loyalty and concern (e.g., worrying a favorite mutual might have died in “If anyone knows who this is plz help me find out if he is okay:( its been a while and I think he really did it”), the dominant pattern is driven, self‑focused, and survivalist rather than idealistic or scholarly. Taken together, their intense desire to transform themselves, tactical use of online clout, and readiness to use any tool at hand align them most strongly with Slytherin.

Your movie

Your song
A well‑fitting song for them is “Bury a Friend” because it captures the mix of self‑destructiveness, dark humor, and numbness they show on their timeline. The song’s themes of self‑harm and intrusive thoughts mirror tweets like “What if I buy numbing cream just to make a beautifully long deep cut” and “I might have to stop #sh for a little ugh kms”. Their casual way of talking about suicidality and safety plans, as in “LMFAO why are they making me make a suicide safety plan like boi AINT no one using that”, matches the song’s eerie, resigned tone. The self‑loathing body image and ED themes in “clean diet all I have eaten is PINEAPPLE U STUPID FUCK when I get home im killing myself” and “I want to dress and feel cute cus I feel disgusting and ugly, but i cant…” echo the song’s sense of being at war with oneself. Even their fascination with gore and self‑destruction in “Anyone els wish they could cut CHUNCKS of myself off so I can cook it?” fits the unsettling, horror‑tinged aesthetic of Bury a Friend. Overall, the song’s blend of vulnerability, morbidity, and a detached, almost playful darkness strongly reflects their online persona.

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