
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The user’s self‑identification as a farmer (e.g., "selling my cows" and "Farming is the future") matches Cletus, who is the Simpsons’ stereotypical hill‑billy farmer. Both are heavy drinkers and smokers, constantly posting about booze and cigars ("I have an exam at 8:30 am… I'm at a bar smoking and drinking alone"; "What no sunblock does to a man. Use sunblock, peeps, don't be like me"). Their personality is chaotic, profanity‑laden, and darkly humorous, evident in tweets like "I am now a married man, goodbye to this life of chaos and murder. Killed all other 3 princesses for this!" and "Black Souls reignited the rape kink in me, its so hot!!!!". They also brag about gym and lifting ("I love training my tits at the gym !!!! (I dont !!!!!!!)"; "I lift, drink, and share my thoughts"), a recurring joke for Cletus who often talks about his strength. This blend of farming, heavy drinking, violent humor, and occasional gym talk makes Cletus the best Simpsons match.

Your MBTI personality Type
The user frequently shares vivid sensory details like 'What no sunblock does to a man. Use sunblock, peeps, don't be like me.' and 'Swallowing ice feels soooooo niiiiiiceeeee', indicating a Sensing preference. Their messages are highly expressive, often seeking interaction ('DMs always open, for whatever you need', 'I love training my tits at the gym!!!!') and they post many public updates, showing Extroverted energy. They make decisions based on personal values and emotions, as seen in statements such as 'I wish a good night to everyone except ...' and 'I want to make her happy and feel loved', reflecting a Feeling orientation. Their lifestyle is flexible and spontaneous, with impulsive plans ('I will do 10 coin flips everyday, if I get 10 heads in a row I will just end it', 'I quit vaping only to discover cigars'), indicating a Perceiving approach. Overall these traits align best with the ESFP type.

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Tri-lingual farmer, gym enthusiast & indie-game explorer. Once milked a cow while livestreaming. Powered by coffee, cattle, & occasional rum.– @GMontoy35823999

Your signature cocktail
The drink’s smoky mezcal mirrors the tweet "What no sunblock does to a man. Use sunblock, peeps, don't be like me." and his love of cigars, while the dark rum nods to his "I made me a full jar (now almost empty) of flavored rum + tonic water because its so fucking hot outside." Fresh lemon juice cuts the burn like his "I’m sunburnt but I still got it" vibe, and a spoon of honey reflects "I am proud of how I carried my day, so I rewarded myself a spoon of honey after dinner :)". A dash of Angostura bitters captures his bitter frustration in "I hate being drunk I hate getting drunk I hate drinking …" and the overall darkness of his "Black Souls" obsession, making the cocktail as intense and gritty as his personality.

Your Hogwarts House
Based on the user's tweets, they display strong ambition, a desire for power, and a willingness to use any means to achieve their goals, which are hallmark traits of Slytherin. For example, they brag about killing companions and princesses in 'Black Souls' ('I am now a married man, goodbye to this life of chaos and murder. Killed all other 3 princesses for this!'), and they constantly seek dominance ('FIGHT, OR BE FORGOTTEN! #BLACKSOULS'). Their self‑preserving and manipulative attitudes are also evident in wishing harm on others ('I am not one to wish for death, but it would be so nice if my finances teacher has a fucking heart attack and dies.') and in prioritizing personal success over loyalty ('Never give up in life'). While they occasionally show loyalty, the dominant pattern of ambition and cunning aligns best with Slytherin.

Your movie

Your song
The user’s tweets reveal a pattern of self‑destructive behavior, chronic loneliness and a search for relief that matches the raw introspection of "Hurt." They admit smoking "Just one cig before sleeping, because I deserved it today, it was such an exhausting day, but totally worth living," and later stay up "I have an exam at 8:30am. It's 23:35 and im at a bar smoking and drinking alone so I can avoid insomnia today," which mirrors the lyric "I hurt myself today to see if I still feel." They explicitly threaten self‑harm, "I told a friend that I would kill myself if things don't work out with my crush... Now, I'm doing 10 coin flips everyday, if I get 10 heads in a row I will just end it," echoing the song’s theme of contemplating death. Their hatred for alcohol "I HATE BEING DRUNK ... ALCOHOL IS A TRAP I ALWAYS FALL FOR" and the desire to escape pain aligns with the chorus "What have I become?" Overall the bleak, confessional tone and the feeling of being broken in their posts fits the mournful, almost prayer‑like lament of "Hurt."

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GMontoy35823999
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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