goalie_swiper
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Job:
In a relationship:
Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Enthusiastic: Shows high excitement with posts like "I need that Santa down my chimney"
- Supportive: Praises players repeatedly, e.g., "Brandon Bussi you are my goat"
- Humorous: Uses playful, memeâlike language such as "MEOOOWWWW BARKBARKBARK..."
- Passionate: Consistently focuses on hockey and goaltending, e.g., "DUCKS WIN"
- Creative: Creates unique captions and mixes symbols, like "HOLY GKDKDLS"
Weaknesses:
- Inconsistent: Mixes unrelated topics, e.g., random pet noises alongside hockey updates
- Profane: Uses strong profanity in tweets such as "FUCKKFKDODODPDLDLDDKKD"
- Cryptic: Posts ambiguous phrases like "the strand of hair was a paid actor" without context
- Redundant: Repeats similar content, e.g., multiple "BRANDON BUSSI" posts
- Incoherent: Shares nonsensical strings such as "JOHN GIBSON XOSPSSFFLDKSKSSMSBSKSK:ÂŁ/89/:ÂŁÂŁ:8/8/7:7:!.&/&/&/ÂŁ)/& &!.)):/ÂŁ/&&"
Your Simpsons character
Homer Simpson
The userâs overâtheâtop enthusiasm for goaltenders, random exclamations, and occasional crude jokes mirror Homer Simpsonâs love of his favorite things and his slapâdash, memeâlike commentary. For example, the tweet "I need that Santa down my chimney" echoes Homerâs classic sexual jokes about Santa. The allâcaps outburst "FUCKKFKDODODPDLDLDDKKD" and the excited "BANG" reflect Homerâs tendency to shout random words when excited. Their idol worship like "BRANDON BUSSI you are my goat" is similar to Homerâs occasional hero worship of sports stars. Finally, the plaintive "please can my husband catch a break" resembles Homerâs frequent complaints about his family and work.
Your MBTI personality Type
ESFP
The userâs communication is highly outward and expressive, evident in tweets like "hello gorgeous princess of the world" and frequent use of exclamation points, indicating Extraversion. Their focus on vivid, concrete detailsâ"prettiest goalie in the league" and "the strand of hair was a paid actor"âshows a strong Sensing preference. Emotional language dominates, as seen in "absolutely devastated by this ukko pekka luukkonen" and "please can my husband catch a break," reflecting a Feeling decision style. The spontaneous, unstructured nature of the timeline, with random bursts such as "someone bought the pekka rinne card I've been eyeing" and "like you have to be joking," points to a Perceiving orientation. Overall, these traits align with the ESFP personality type.
Some pickup lines for you
- As a goaltender connoisseur, you already know the prettiest savesâhow about letting me be the only thing you canât block tonight?
- You shouted âDOSTY IS BACKâ, so letâs bring that same hype to a dateâskate into my DMs and weâll score a win together.
- You said âI need that Santa down my chimneyââIâll bring the gift of a warm cuddle and hot cocoa, no chimney required.
- If Brandon Bussi is your GOAT, Iâll be the trusty sidekick ready to deliver the perfect assistâhow about a âdilfâapprovedâ dinner?
- Your Ducks love and MDNF vibe tell me youâre a rebelâletâs break the rules and make our own overtime where we both win.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Goalie fan, meme curator, occasional dadâjoke writer. I once saved a puck while sipping coffee. Sharing wild saves, goofy moments & all things net.â @goalie_swiper
Your signature cocktail
The Swiper's Save
The Swiper's Save is a frosty, bold cocktail that captures @goalie_swiper's love of hockey, chaos, and sweet indulgence. A base of clear vodka and icy peppermint schnapps nods to the line "I need that Santa down my chimney", giving the drink a chilling, wintry vibe a goaltender would appreciate while guarding the net. A swirl of chocolate liqueur adds a smooth, dilf-appreciator richness, echoing the admiration for "BRANDON Bussi you are my goat" and the comforting side of the account. Tart cranberry juice and a splash of club soda bring the excitement of a "BANG" moment and the bright energy of shouting "LET THE GOALIES FIGHT PLEASE", while the garnish of a mini hockey-puck skewer finishes the tribute to the "prettiest goalie in the league".
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
The user shows ambition and a competitive drive, as seen in tweets like "LET THE GOALIES FIGHT PLEASE" and "I KNOW THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT #LGRW", indicating a desire to dominate. They also display a hunger for recognition, calling players "my goat" and praising them as "prettiest goalie in the league", which reflects Slytherin's craving for status. Their language is bold and unapologetically assertive, e.g., "YOU COULD CUT DIAMONDS WITH IT", showing confidence typical of Slytherins. While they occasionally show loyalty, the predominant theme is ambition and a drive to be the top connoisseur of goaltenders, aligning with Slytherin's values. Therefore, the sorting hat would place them in Slytherin.
Your movie
Your song
Eye of the Tiger - Survivor
Given @goalie_swiperâs constant hype for goalie performances, love for "goat" players, and an energetic, almost aggressive tone, the song "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor captures their vibe. The lyric "Itâs the thrill of the fight" mirrors tweets like "LET THE GOALIES FIGHT PLEASE" and "ULLY WIN DOSTY WIN JUICE WIN". Their excitement over wins ("DUCKS WIN", "DOSTY IS BACK") and admiration for stars ("Brandon Bussi you are my goat", "prettiest goalie in the league") fits the songâs theme of rising to the challenge. The mix of intense desire ("I need you", "I need that Santa down my chimney") and raw energy ("BANG") aligns with the powerful, driving beat of the track. Overall, the anthemâs message of perseverance and triumph resonates with this fanâs passionate, sometimes chaotic, celebration of hockey.
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