Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Humorous: Frequent playful phrasing and absurd jokes like “Depressão, TDAH ou ansiedade? (BARULHO DE ROLETA)” and “Viciado em bater masturbação e comer pão” show a strong comedic tone.
- Self-aware: Acknowledges mental state and habits, e.g. “minhas emoções tem variado bastante esses últimos dias” and “minha psicologa me mandou esse video sobre procrastinação… enfim a procrastinação”.
- Affectionate: Shows care for partner and friends, calling her a Muié with warmth in tweets like “A Muié ta fazendo sopinha pro enfermo aqui” and “Queria ta assim com a Muié”.
- Social: Frequently goes to parties, RU, tributo, riverside, and talks about friends (Juju, Eve), e.g. “Ir em festa sozinho é com certeza uma experiência kkkkkkkkkm” and “Cheguei agora do bocão mas juju nunez e eve lorem continuam lá”.
- Candid: Openly shares bodily discomfort, mood, and daily mishaps, like “Mi culo arde” and “Minha cabeça essas últimas semanas tá um caos”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-destructive: References wanting to die or ‘passar dessa para uma melhor’ in “Vontade de passar dessa para uma melhor serião” and heavy self-neglect jokes linked to mood.
- Substance-reliant: Frequent focus on alcohol and weed, e.g. “Alguém me da uma cerveja,um vinho ou um beck?”, “Fumando maconha com a madrasta”, and “Hoje eu não bebo, meu corpo ta esquisitissimo”.
- Impulsive: Tweets show acting on urges without much filter, like “Quero drogas” and food binges such as “Comi demais vou morrer”.
- Procrastinator: Admits putting off tasks, notably “minha psicologa me mandou esse video sobre procrastinação… eu fui ver ele hoje depois da sessão” and uncertainty around academic work in “A ideia q tive para o artigo de estética teatral achei bem bostola, talvez eu troque”.
- Emotionally-volatile: Mentions strong mood swings and mental chaos, e.g. “minhas emoções tem variado bastante esses últimos dias” and “Minha cabeça essas últimas semanas tá um caos”.
Your Simpsons character
Homer Simpson
The overall vibe is most like Homer Simpson: chaotic, self-deprecating, impulsive, and always mixing humor with low-key existential crisis. There’s a very Homer-like relationship with food and overindulgence, from “Comi demais vou morrer” to “Fazendo 1kg de Frango frito a la Ricardo Millos” and “Comi uma pizza”. The user’s casual approach to substances and partying mirrors Homer’s messy, indulgent side, with tweets like “Fumando maconha com a madrasta” and “Cheguei bebado e homosexualisado em casa”. At the same time, there’s a thread of stress, mental health struggle and procrastination—very ‘Homer trying but overwhelmed’ energy—seen in “Minha cabeça essas últimas semanas tá um caos”, “Ansiedade bateu foda”, and the procrastination joke about a video from their psychologist in “enfim a procrastinação”. The mix of affection for “a Muié,” goofy sexuality (“To mordendo a oreia de tesão”), and dramatic reactions to everyday inconveniences also fits Homer more than any other main character.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They lean Extraverted: they frequently describe parties, bars, campus life and smoking with others, e.g. going to the tributo alone but clearly craving the social scene in “Sera? Sera que eu devo ir p tributo?” and “Ir em festa sozinho é com certeza uma experiência kkkkkkkkkm”, plus many tweets about friends, partners and public mishaps like “Se tu viu alguem cair de bike na frente do marcelão hoje, era essa pessoa⬇”. Their humor shows Intuition over Sensing: they often spin absurd, imaginative jokes (werewolf bit in “Ando num T nos ultimos dias, acho que to até me transfor...auuuu auau auuuuuuuu”, surreal plans like “Será que se eu comprar um fiat toro e um fiat vaca eu fico rico?”, or meta-commentary on online culture in “nem fui pra aula e ja quero voltar para estudar a machosfera, o que ser um migtow?”). They appear more Feeling than Thinking: emotional states and mood swings are foregrounded in “mano, minhas emoções tem variado bastante esses últimos dias”, alongside candid mentions of depression and anxiety like “Depressão, TDAH ou ansiedade? (BARULHO DE ROLETA)”, and they react to life with expressive, relational language rather than structured analysis. Finally, they fit Perceiving: their lifestyle seems spontaneous and unplanned — last‑minute decisions about going out in “Acho que vou no tributo sozinho hoje mesmo”, procrastination acknowledged in “minha psicologa me mandou esse video sobre procrastinação... fui ver ele hoje depois da sessão”, and chaotic routines like “Ja comi um bis de café da manhã” — all point to ENFP’s flexible, impulsive, experience‑seeking pattern rather than a structured J-type.
Some pickup lines for you
- So, you deleted LoL and became a happy man… if dating me is your next uninstall, I promise I cause less depression and way more ‘GG, well played’.
- You said your hands smell like fish and chlorine from work—good, because I’m clearly drowning in feelings here and I might need you as my lifeguard in Pelotas.
- You survive RU food like ‘Bolinho de Legumes’, filas de tributo, and Pelotas heat… I’m starting to think the only thing missing from your everyday chaos is a date with someone who actually shows up when you tweet ‘alguém me dá uma cerveja, um vinho ou um beck?’.
- You listening to ‘The Sound of Silence’ depressed, smoking at the beira do rio, and tweeting about TDAH and anxiety… honestly, the way you’re so openly chaotic and vulnerable is kind of beautiful—and I’d genuinely like to be the person you text *before* the ‘ansiedade bateu foda’ tweet.
- If you can cook 1kg of Ricardo Milos fried chicken, go to tributo sozinho, and still end the night ‘bêbado e homosexualisado’, imagine what we could do together: pastel, café, Terrifier, Creep, and then a #NewProfilePic with me on your arm.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Matteus | Pelotas, BR 🇧🇷 | Theater & everyday chaos. Once confused cayenne for paprika and met enlightenment through fire.– @GolimarMA
Your signature cocktail
Atumalaca Riverside Highball
This cocktail starts with cachaça infused with lime peel to represent the chaotic Brazilian humor of “atumalaca hahahaha aquinala atiquitiquitiquita” in their bio and the slightly unhinged party vibes of “Cheguei bebado e homosexualisado em casa”. Cold-brew coffee stands for the insomnia, overthinking, and late-night mental spirals of “Minha cabeça essas últimas semanas tá um caos” and “Dormi mas ja acordei, cacete de energético”. Guaraná soda adds hyper, fizzy energy for their dramatic mood swings like “Ansiedade bateu foda” and the TDAH jokes in “Os filmes da sessão da tarde pegam muito no meu tdah”. A dash of smoked paprika tincture nods to their culinary chaos, especially “Confundi pimenta cayena com paprica defumada, fui provar o molho”, giving the drink a surprising kick. Finally, a squeeze of fresh orange brightens everything, echoing moments where they choose joy and change, like “Desinstalei o lol, sou um homem sem depressão e feliz agora” and the chilled river vibes of “To na beira do rio escutando musica”.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
Matteus reads as a grounded, loyal, everyday-life type rather than someone driven by grand ambition or a hero complex, which fits Hufflepuff. He often centers his experiences around work or mundane effort, like joking about manual labor in “Minhas mãos tem cheiro de peixe e clorofina, trabalhar e bom demais” and repeatedly dragging himself through classes and university life, e.g. “Num guento essa aula” and “tomei um antialérgico... meu psicológico na aula ta... 'ai que soninho gostoso'”. His tweets show a strong attachment to friends and his partner, calling her “a Muié” and sharing care moments like “A Muié ta fazendo sopinha pro enfermo aqui”, which reflects loyalty and warmth. He’s self-deprecating and open about mental health struggles in a non-dramatic way, such as “Minha cabeça essas últimas semanas tá um caos” and “Ansiedade bateu foda”, suggesting quiet perseverance rather than grandstanding. While he has wit and curiosity (e.g. poking fun at the "machosphere" in “nem fui pra aula e ja quero voltar para estudar a machosfera, o que ser um migtow?”), it’s secondary to his vibe of being a down-to-earth, loyal friend who just keeps going through everyday chaos, which is quintessentially Hufflepuff.
Your movie
Your song
Creep - Radiohead
A fitting song for Matteus is Creep by Radiohead, since he literally says “minha missão na terra é fazer as pessoas assistirem creep”, signaling a personal connection to its vibe. The song’s themes of alienation and self-doubt resonate with his tweets about mental health, like “Minha cabeça essas últimas semanas tá um caos” and “mano, minhas emoções tem variado bastante esses últimos dias”. At the same time, he faces depression and anxiety with dark humor, as in “Depressão, TDAH ou ansiedade? (BARULHO DE ROLETA)”, which matches the song’s mix of vulnerability and bitterness. His self-deprecating, chaotic, but heartfelt posts about overthinking, exhaustion, and wanting to disappear, like “Vontade de passar dessa para uma melhor serião”, further align with the introspective and emotionally raw tone of Creep. Overall, both the song and his timeline feel like a blend of irony, sadness, and a desire to be understood.
Your time travel destination
Your video game
Your spirit animal
Your (un)funny joke
Your superpower
Your fictional best friend
Your dream vacation
Your alternate career path
Your celebrity match
Did you enjoy your Horoscope?
Your horoscope is 20 days old! Generate a better one from your latest tweets, unlock more insights and use a smarter pro AI!
