
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Like Milhouse, Mellie is a self-described 'scaredy cat' with a needy, submissive streak who often finds herself in unfortunate social situations, such as when she “just got stood up at a VERY nice sushi spot” and felt like a 'lost puppy.' She possesses a geeky enthusiasm for Genshin Impact and baseball, frequently begging for attention with phrases like “pretty please, its my wish to be urs 🥺”. Despite her large following, she retains an underdog energy, often posting through sadness or work-related exhaustion, once noting that “behind every cutesy lil goonette there is an equally sad spotify playlist”. Her mix of niche hobbies, desperate desire for validation, and frequent 'stinky' luck perfectly mirrors the lovable, pathetic charm of Bart’s best friend.

Your MBTI personality Type
@goonettepupxd exhibits Extroversion (E) through her high-energy, constant engagement with her "lil pervs" and frequent sharing of social life, such as being at her “#20 baseball game on the season”. She shows Intuition (N) by focusing on the emotional vibes of her community and expressing “v exciting ideas” for the future rather than just practical data. Her Feeling (F) preference is clear in her highly emotive, warm tone, often telling followers she loves them “from da bottom of my heart” and using “uwu” or “🥺” to build connection. Finally, she aligns with Perceiving (P) due to her spontaneous nature, admitting she “doesn't have work” and will finally try to clean, or “considering a break” when feeling drained by her own lack of structure.

Some pickup lines for you

Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
27 | Your favorite high-fiving, hot-dog-loving baseball fan. When I’m not at the ballpark or losing at Genshin, I’m curating the internet’s prettiest content. ✨– @goonettepupxd

Your signature cocktail
This drink captures Mellie’s high-energy, 'subby goonette' persona by mixing playful sweetness with a bit of a kick. The sparkling wine pays homage to her status as a “bubble blowing baby”, while the sugary finish reflects her desire to “be the cake instead” for her birthday. Because she is a dedicated sports fan, the cherry garnish is a nod to her ritual where fans “buy me a hot dawg n ill send u a bunch of pretty porn” during baseball games. Finally, the popping sugar rim mimics the thrill she feels when “pulling for this absolute angel” in her favorite gacha games.

Your Hogwarts House
Mellie embodies the core Hufflepuff values of loyalty and kindness, frequently expressing deep gratitude for her community by calling them “the cutiest and patootiest of all the cutie patooties to exist.” She prioritizes fairness and inclusivity, often using her platform to boost others, such as when she demanded that “ALL DA PERVS BETTER WISH HER DA HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY EVER !!!” to support a fellow creator. Her patient and modest nature is evident when she reflects on her growth, stating, “i never would have thought the number would get even remotely this high, i just wanted to post pretty porn n be silly.” Furthermore, her dedication to her hobbies, like being a “genshin player pulling for this absolute angel for the next three weeks,” highlights the characteristic Hufflepuff trait of steady, passionate commitment.

Your movie

Your song
Mellie's profile is a high-energy mix of submissive pup play, a dedicated love for femme-leaning romance, and an obsession with cute aesthetics. This song perfectly mirrors her repeated assertions about her sexuality, such as her profile update stating “sexuality: anything femme 😵💫” and her frequent declarations like “girls are so pretty always and forever 😵💫😵💫😵💫”. The track's upbeat, yearning indie-pop vibe matches her persona as a “subby goonette with a porn addiction” who spends her time posting “pretty porn n be silly on this goofy app”. Ultimately, the song encapsulates her brand of being “whoreknee” for girls while navigating the emotional highs and lows of online life.

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