
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The user’s crude, self‑destructive humor and obsession with low‑brow entertainment mirrors Homer’s love of TV, donuts and lazy, often vulgar jokes, such as 'Just killed like 6 catgirls tonite.' and 'I don’t want to be a gooner degenerate anymore. Please send me your strongest vril wave and explode my head.' The user frequently expresses hopelessness and self‑pity, similar to Homer’s frequent “D’oh!” moments when life feels bleak, e.g., 'My oneitis got married yesterday … I’m already too old for anything to be worthwhile.' Their extreme, hateful statements like 'We should kill and eat black people #ihadnochoice' echo Homer’s occasional insensitive, bigoted remarks. The overall pattern of low self‑esteem, crass language, and a chaotic, impulsive lifestyle makes Homer the closest match among the main Simpsons characters.

Your MBTI personality Type
The user displays strong introversion, focusing on inner turmoil and personal feelings (e.g., "My oneitis got married yesterday... I'm already too old for anything to be worthwhile"). Their language is abstract and dream‑like, showing intuition (e.g., "I will relay to you the words that appeared in my dreams..." and "The more I try to chase the dao, the further away it gets from me"). Decision‑making is driven by personal emotions and values rather than objective logic, as seen in emotional rants like "I don't want to be a gooner degenerate anymore". The posting style is chaotic, spontaneous, and lacks clear structure, indicating a perceiving preference (e.g., random mentions of "mail order loli", "amogus", "just killed 6 catgirls tonite"). These combined traits align best with the INFP personality type.

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Your new Twitter bio
Anime & gaming nerd, history buff, and self‑declared ‘prince of darkness’. Once tried to teach my cat to play chess. #GoonLife– @goonissecunda

Your signature cocktail
Gooner's Gloom embodies the contrasting feelings expressed in @goonissecunda's tweets. The sour cherry juice reflects the bitterness and despair often highlighted, like in the tweet: 'My oneitis got married yesterday and I only knew by chance. Its so over for me.' The activated charcoal symbolizes the darker themes present, while the vodka keeps it wild and unpredictable. The coconut cream adds a creamy, dream-like quality, reminiscent of tweets such as 'I had a dream explaining a dream I had in the dream.' Finally, the edible glitter captures the fleeting moments of joy amidst the chaos, akin to 'God bless my beautiful chungus life.'

Your Hogwarts House
The traits exhibited by @goonissecunda align most closely with Slytherin's values of ambition and cunning. For instance, the tweet "My younger brother called me a blackpilled chud. Its really showing I guess. How do I get out of this?" reflects a self-awareness and desire for personal growth, a common trait in Slytherins who often seek to better themselves. Additionally, the tweet "I think its now the 4th time I tried watching lolita but stopped after cringing at when he gets caught" indicates a rebellious nature, a characteristic commonly associated with Slytherin's willingness to challenge norms. Furthermore, phrases like "My life story in 1 frame" suggest a deep understanding of self that is often prized among Slytherins, who seek to use their knowledge for their own advancement.

Your movie

Your song
The song’s themes of self‑harm, emptiness, and existential despair line up with the user’s repeated expressions of hopelessness, such as "I don’t want to be a gooner degenerate anymore. Please send me your strongest vril wave and explode my head." The lyric "I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel" mirrors the user’s suicidal ideation, seen in tweets like "I’m dying irl and only person I told is faggy frenchman…" and "My oneitis got married yesterday … it’s so over for me." The user also describes feeling alienated and worthless, for example "My oneitis got married yesterday and I only knew by chance. Its so over for me" and references being a "NEET, incel, gooner degenerate," which echo the song’s lines about being a broken man. The raw, introspective tone of "Hurt" captures the chronic self‑loathing and yearning for escape that pervades the timeline, making it the most fitting match.

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goonissecunda
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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