Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Humorous: Uses self-deprecating and fandom jokes like “putting a hal jordan comic on display in my car so people know there’s nothing worth stealing” and “hal jordan please die right now” to entertain followers.
- Emotionally-open: Openly shares feelings about exhaustion, joy, and frustration, e.g. “I am So tired idk what im DOING” and “head hurts and I don’t feel well it’s actually time to die”.
- Community-oriented: Engages with friends and fandom spaces through quoted tweets, jokes about 'oomfs', and group activities like “MY FRIENDS ARE DOING A STUPID ROBLOX FAMILY RP THING AND I AGREED TO JOIN AS A JOB AS THE UNCLE”.
- Passionate: Shows strong enthusiasm for interests like Marvel Rivals, hockey, and DC, such as “I have been non stop on and off of rivals for nearly 10 hours” and “HY FUCKING GOALIE FIGHT LETS FUCKING GO SHARKSSSS”.
- Creative: Invents funny scenarios and character ideas like “making hal jordan british because he pisses me off and I want him to suffer like me” and imagining “Hockey player Booster”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-destructive-humor: Frequently jokes about death or self-harm, e.g. “im gonna start threatening to kill myself if my team tries to make me solo heal” and “head hurts and I don’t feel well it’s actually time to die”.
- Impulsive-spending: Admits to sudden, possibly regrettable purchases like “got let out of my cage and spent so much money including comics i don’t have room for, funkos I don’t have room for” and scrambling for money for skins in “I have 8 hours to make money wish me luck”.
- Sleep-neglect: Plays games late into the night despite tiredness, such as “hello guys. it’s 3:30am. I got mvp and accidentally punched my desk in excitement” and long sessions like “I have been non stop on and off of rivals for nearly 10 hours”.
- Emotional-reactivity: Responds very intensely to media and games, as seen in “FUUUCK I FUUUUUUYYUCK” and rage about character skins like “star lord: RECOLOUR moon knight: WHITE me: HANGING FROM THE CEILING”.
- Task-avoidance: Often chooses games or fandom over responsibilities, implied in posts like “11pm sounds like a great time to play rivals” and repeatedly prioritizing grinding ranks such as “got to captain on star lord.. grind continues tmrw”.
Your Simpsons character
Homer Simpson
They have chaotic, impulsive Homer energy: they game obsessively, stay up too late, and then suffer for it, like when they say “hello guys. it’s 3:30am. I got mvp and accidentally punched my desk in excitement. owie” and “I have been non stop on and off of rivals for nearly 10 hours”. Their dramatic outbursts and over-the-top frustration, such as “FUUUCK I FUUUUUUYYUCK” and “MOTHERFUCKERS I SWEAR”, mirror Homer’s melodramatic reactions to minor inconveniences. Like Homer, they mix aggression with affection: they complain about characters they love, as in “hal jordan please die right now” and then obsess over them again in tweets like “thinking about spectre and hal again”. Their self-deprecating nerdiness—“im such a fucking nerd man”—and love of simple pleasures like hockey and comics fit Homer’s pattern of being both kind of a mess and genuinely enthusiastic. Overall, they come off as loud, impulsive, weirdly tender-hearted, and extremely attached to their hobbies, which aligns most closely with Homer Simpson.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They lean Extraverted: they constantly engage others, ask for interaction, and overshare in a playful way, e.g. “hi guys (im bored if u couldn’t tell)”, “hi my names michael someone buy me raising canes plsss”, and “HI GUYS HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE UK GUYS I LOVE YOU ALL”. Their humor and interests show Intuition over Sensing: they’re drawn to fictional universes, abstract bits, and re-framing reality in silly ways, like “making hal jordan british because he pisses me off and I want him to suffer like me” and “I can’t escape the marvel rivals yaoi roleplay”, rather than focusing on concrete, practical matters. They are very Feeling-oriented: their posts are emotional, dramatic, and relationship-focused, e.g. “ohhh I hate eye opening moments”, “I mjisss hal jrodannn and booster oglddddd”, and threateningly joking about self-worth and teams in “im gonna start threatening to kill myself if my team tries to make me solo heal”. Finally, they appear strongly Perceiving: impulsive, chaotic, and flexible rather than structured, like grinding games at odd hours in “hello guys. it’s 3:30am. I got mvp and accidentally punched my desk in excitement. owie”, last-minute money scrambles in “I have 8 hours to make money wish me luck”, and spontaneous purchases in “got let out of my cage and spent so much money including comics i don’t have room for”. Together, this pattern of high-energy social posting, imaginative fandom focus, emotionally charged expression, and lack of rigid planning fits ENFP best.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said you’re ‘coming out as British’ — that’s fine, I’m coming out as desperately in need of someone to rant about Hal Jordan parasites and Marvel Rivals patch notes with. Wanna form a highly dysfunctional Lantern Corps together?
- You putting a Hal Jordan comic in your car so ‘there’s nothing worth stealing’ is crazy, because if I was a thief I’d rob you for your Booster Gold takes, your Starlord clips, and that brain that decided to make Hal Jordan British out of spite.
- Every time Johnny Storm kills you in Rivals you draft a hate tweet; every time you tweet about missing Starlord or Booster Gold my heart queues up for another match. If we duo, I promise to body-block Venom, Hulk, and at least 70% of your tilt.
- You said the only movie that’s ever made you cry is GOTG3 — meanwhile I’m over here getting emotional because someone who loves hockey fights, warrior cats, and tiny gay comic people in the same brain might actually be my ideal co-op partner.
- You’re willing to rob an IRL for their Fortnite account, grind Marvel Rivals at 3:30am, and ask strangers for 20 quid for a birthday gift; I respect the hustle. Let me skip the middleman and just take you out instead — payment in Raising Cane’s and Starlord skins.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Michael | UK | Hockey watcher, comic + Marvel Rivals enjoyer | Once joined a Roblox family RP as Hal Jordan and just kept the bit going– @goonstergold
Your signature cocktail
The Star-Lorded British Boostling
This cocktail starts with gin for their unapologetic British chaos, inspired by them “coming out as british to those who don’t know”. Blue curaçao brings in the space-hero vibe and their devotion to Peter Quill, from grinding to “got to captain on star lord.. grind continues tmrw” to screaming “I miss starlord so much”. An energy drink or lemon-lime soda captures their cracked, sleep-deprived queue sessions like “hey guys it’s rivals at 3am again” and the ten-hour binge of “I have been non stop on and off of rivals for nearly 10 hours”. Sour apple liqueur matches their sharp, dramatic salt when they say things like “hal jordan please die right now” and threatening to riot if forced to “solo heal”. Finally, edible glitter or star-shaped sprinkles represent the sparkly, nerdy fandom brainrot of someone who proudly admits “yeah I like those little gay people in the comics so what” and celebrates every skin unlock with explosive joy like “YYYEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
Mikey reads as a chaos-driven, impulsive thrill‑seeker in ways that are very classically Gryffindor. They repeatedly throw themself into situations for the bit or the experience, like “breaking into my grandmas house at 7pm on a friday cuz I want a cookie” and casually confessing to cheating at games in “I’ve been cheating at wordle in a server im in for weeks and nobody’s gonna know”, which suggests a reckless, rules-don’t-apply-to-me streak. Their love of high-energy, high-risk environments like competitive games (“I have been non stop on and off of rivals for nearly 10 hours”) and hockey fights (“HY FUCKING GOALIE FIGHT LETS FUCKING GO SHARKSSSS LETS GO SHARKKKSKSSSSS”) also points to someone who thrives on adrenaline and confrontation. Emotionally, they’re very loud and dramatic in a way that fits Gryffindor’s big feelings and performative flair, e.g. “MOTHERFUCKERS I SWEAR” and “hal jordan please die right now”, which reads as passionate exaggeration more than calculated malice. While there are flashes of loyalty and humor that other houses might value, the dominant notes are impulsiveness, drama, and a taste for chaos, making Gryffindor the best fit.
Your movie
Your song
Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus
Their whole vibe is chaotic, nerdy, and self-deprecating in a way that fits Teenage Dirtbag perfectly: they call themselves a nerd outright in “im such a fucking nerd man” and joke about comics like in “putting a hal jordan comic on display in my car so people know there’s nothing worth stealing”. The song’s mix of irony and genuine feeling mirrors how they talk about fandom and games, like obsessively grinding Marvel Rivals in “I have been non stop on and off of rivals for nearly 10 hours”. Their humor around depression and stress (“head hurts and I don’t feel well it’s actually time to die” and “I am So tired idk what im DOING”) matches the song’s mix of angst and shrugging it off. Finally, their deeply dorky love for specific characters like Star-Lord and Hal Jordan in posts such as “I mjisss hal jrodannn and booster oglddddd” is exactly the kind of hyperfixated fandom energy the song’s protagonist would have.
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