
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
They have chaotic, impulsive Homer energy: they game obsessively, stay up too late, and then suffer for it, like when they say “hello guys. it’s 3:30am. I got mvp and accidentally punched my desk in excitement. owie” and “I have been non stop on and off of rivals for nearly 10 hours”. Their dramatic outbursts and over-the-top frustration, such as “FUUUCK I FUUUUUUYYUCK” and “MOTHERFUCKERS I SWEAR”, mirror Homer’s melodramatic reactions to minor inconveniences. Like Homer, they mix aggression with affection: they complain about characters they love, as in “hal jordan please die right now” and then obsess over them again in tweets like “thinking about spectre and hal again”. Their self-deprecating nerdiness—“im such a fucking nerd man”—and love of simple pleasures like hockey and comics fit Homer’s pattern of being both kind of a mess and genuinely enthusiastic. Overall, they come off as loud, impulsive, weirdly tender-hearted, and extremely attached to their hobbies, which aligns most closely with Homer Simpson.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Extraverted: they constantly engage others, ask for interaction, and overshare in a playful way, e.g. “hi guys (im bored if u couldn’t tell)”, “hi my names michael someone buy me raising canes plsss”, and “HI GUYS HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE UK GUYS I LOVE YOU ALL”. Their humor and interests show Intuition over Sensing: they’re drawn to fictional universes, abstract bits, and re-framing reality in silly ways, like “making hal jordan british because he pisses me off and I want him to suffer like me” and “I can’t escape the marvel rivals yaoi roleplay”, rather than focusing on concrete, practical matters. They are very Feeling-oriented: their posts are emotional, dramatic, and relationship-focused, e.g. “ohhh I hate eye opening moments”, “I mjisss hal jrodannn and booster oglddddd”, and threateningly joking about self-worth and teams in “im gonna start threatening to kill myself if my team tries to make me solo heal”. Finally, they appear strongly Perceiving: impulsive, chaotic, and flexible rather than structured, like grinding games at odd hours in “hello guys. it’s 3:30am. I got mvp and accidentally punched my desk in excitement. owie”, last-minute money scrambles in “I have 8 hours to make money wish me luck”, and spontaneous purchases in “got let out of my cage and spent so much money including comics i don’t have room for”. Together, this pattern of high-energy social posting, imaginative fandom focus, emotionally charged expression, and lack of rigid planning fits ENFP best.

Some pickup lines for you

Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Michael | UK | Hockey watcher, comic + Marvel Rivals enjoyer | Once joined a Roblox family RP as Hal Jordan and just kept the bit going– @goonstergold

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail starts with gin for their unapologetic British chaos, inspired by them “coming out as british to those who don’t know”. Blue curaçao brings in the space-hero vibe and their devotion to Peter Quill, from grinding to “got to captain on star lord.. grind continues tmrw” to screaming “I miss starlord so much”. An energy drink or lemon-lime soda captures their cracked, sleep-deprived queue sessions like “hey guys it’s rivals at 3am again” and the ten-hour binge of “I have been non stop on and off of rivals for nearly 10 hours”. Sour apple liqueur matches their sharp, dramatic salt when they say things like “hal jordan please die right now” and threatening to riot if forced to “solo heal”. Finally, edible glitter or star-shaped sprinkles represent the sparkly, nerdy fandom brainrot of someone who proudly admits “yeah I like those little gay people in the comics so what” and celebrates every skin unlock with explosive joy like “YYYEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”.

Your Hogwarts House
Mikey reads as a chaos-driven, impulsive thrill‑seeker in ways that are very classically Gryffindor. They repeatedly throw themself into situations for the bit or the experience, like “breaking into my grandmas house at 7pm on a friday cuz I want a cookie” and casually confessing to cheating at games in “I’ve been cheating at wordle in a server im in for weeks and nobody’s gonna know”, which suggests a reckless, rules-don’t-apply-to-me streak. Their love of high-energy, high-risk environments like competitive games (“I have been non stop on and off of rivals for nearly 10 hours”) and hockey fights (“HY FUCKING GOALIE FIGHT LETS FUCKING GO SHARKSSSS LETS GO SHARKKKSKSSSSS”) also points to someone who thrives on adrenaline and confrontation. Emotionally, they’re very loud and dramatic in a way that fits Gryffindor’s big feelings and performative flair, e.g. “MOTHERFUCKERS I SWEAR” and “hal jordan please die right now”, which reads as passionate exaggeration more than calculated malice. While there are flashes of loyalty and humor that other houses might value, the dominant notes are impulsiveness, drama, and a taste for chaos, making Gryffindor the best fit.

Your movie

Your song
Their whole vibe is chaotic, nerdy, and self-deprecating in a way that fits Teenage Dirtbag perfectly: they call themselves a nerd outright in “im such a fucking nerd man” and joke about comics like in “putting a hal jordan comic on display in my car so people know there’s nothing worth stealing”. The song’s mix of irony and genuine feeling mirrors how they talk about fandom and games, like obsessively grinding Marvel Rivals in “I have been non stop on and off of rivals for nearly 10 hours”. Their humor around depression and stress (“head hurts and I don’t feel well it’s actually time to die” and “I am So tired idk what im DOING”) matches the song’s mix of angst and shrugging it off. Finally, their deeply dorky love for specific characters like Star-Lord and Hal Jordan in posts such as “I mjisss hal jrodannn and booster oglddddd” is exactly the kind of hyperfixated fandom energy the song’s protagonist would have.

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