GraftonTommy
City:
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In a relationship:
Best friend:
Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Loyal Supporter: Tommy is a dedicated Crystal Palace Season Ticket Holder who frequently shows passion for his club, stating “Love my club.” and celebrating their successes with deep pride.
- Principled Fairness: He calls out bad behavior within his own fan base, describing those rioting or being violent after a tragedy as “embarrassing” and demanding better standards.
- Family Oriented: He shows pride in his family and community, sharing a news link about his “cousin Michael” and frequently engaging with the #CPFCFamily hashtag.
- Charitable Spirit: He actively supports fan-led initiatives and community displays, noting he “Donated!” to support the club's atmosphere and visuals.
- Civic Conscious: Tommy takes a stand against social issues, specifically condemning a person he identifies as “Racist, violent & major complex” while urging others to “Protect our women.”
Weaknesses:
- Aggressive Communication: He frequently resorts to insults and profanity when frustrated, such as calling people “Disgusting c**ts!!!!!” or “silly cunt”.
- Alcohol Dependency: His social life centers heavily on drinking, often tweeting about being “Still hanging 🤢” or having a “f**kd” back after heavy drinking sessions.
- Short Temper: He admits to having a volatile nature, mentioning he gave a player “a lot of stick” previously and using excessive emojis to signal intense anger.
- Hostile Gatekeeping: Tommy displays an exclusionary attitude toward different opinions at football, telling others to “go f**king supprt the pricks down the road” if they bring politics to the ground.
- Authority Defiance: He exhibits a strong bias against law enforcement, using derogatory terms like “Thugs in uniform” and “PigWatch” to describe police officers.
Your Simpsons character
Homer Simpson
Tommy embodies the classic working-class spirit of Homer, characterized by a deep love for his local traditions, sports, and a cold beer. Much like Homer's frequent nights at Moe's, Tommy describes himself as an "IPA enthusiast" and lives for the weekend ritual of "plotting up sinking pints" before the football kicks off. He possesses a boisterous, often reactionary temperament, notably seen when he lashes out at rivals by calling them "disgusting c**ts" or venting about "thugs in uniform". Despite his rough edges and occasional "massive FOMO", he remains fiercely loyal to his community and family, celebrating when a cousin is interviewed or proudly supporting his "Palace family".
Your MBTI personality Type
ESTP
Tommy exhibits strong Extroversion and Sensing traits through his high-energy involvement in the Crystal Palace matchday culture, frequently posting about “sinking pints” and his “MASSIVE FOMO” when missing events. His Thinking side is evident in his blunt, often confrontational communication style, such as when he calls out others as “knuckle draggers” or dismisses commercial interests as “Comercial rubbish”. The Perceiving preference is highlighted by his spontaneous, action-oriented lifestyle, evidenced by him getting “Kicked out hotel ibis” and immediately looking for a drink and a walkabout. Overall, he focuses on immediate, sensory experiences like football and beer rather than abstract theories.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a last-minute ticket to an away day? Because I’ve been looking for you everywhere and I’m ready to sink a few tinnies to celebrate the find.
- I promise I’m more 'unreal' than a Palace win, and unlike a Sheffield pub crawl, I won’t leave you wondering where the best spot is.
- If you’re still suffering from that FOMO, why don’t we skip the Ryder Cup on telly and go practice our own swing over a couple of IPAs?
- I’m no locksmith from Enfield, but I’d love to help you find the key to getting over that hangover from the last day out at Selhurst.
- You can stop the 'PigWatch' for a minute, Tommy—the only thing I'm trying to capture today is your attention over a cold pint.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
South London's finest. Palace STH often seen sinking tinnies or chasing away tickets. Professional locksmith-seeker, part-time plumber, and full-time IPA critic.– @GraftonTommy
Your signature cocktail
The Selhurst Southgate
Inspired by this 'IPA enthusiast' and Crystal Palace Season Ticket Holder, this drink starts with a robust IPA base because he is “sinking pints before a 3pm KO”. The gin adds a sharp South London edge for someone who is “Born & Bred” in the area, while the bitter orange reflects his fiery side when he sees “Disgusting behavior” or “Comercial rubbish”. Finally, a pinch of salt honors his resilience after away days that leave his “Backs f**kd” but feeling “totaly worth it!”.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
Tommy exhibits the classic Gryffindor traits of fierce loyalty to his 'tribe' and a bold, often impulsive willingness to stand up for what he believes is right. He displays a chivalrous protective streak, evidenced when he calls to “Protect our women” and condemns those acting in an “embarrassing” manner following national tragedies. His confrontational nature and blunt honesty are hallmarks of the house of the lion, seen when he tells someone to “Get out my club you silly cunt” to protect the 'Palace family.' This brave, unfiltered spirit defines his online presence, consistently choosing to speak his mind regardless of the social consequences.
Your movie
Your song
Glad All Over - The Dave Clark Five
As a dedicated 'Palace STH' (Season Ticket Holder), Tommy lives and breathes Crystal Palace FC, where this 1960s anthem is the club's signature song. His timeline is a tribute to the matchday experience, from “sinking pints before a 3pm KO” to the pure ecstasy of a win where he exclaims, “Inject this straight into my veins 💉💉💉”. The song's upbeat, pounding energy mirrors his passionate South London roots and his frequent use of phrases like “Up the HF” in support of the Holmesdale Fanatics. Even after a rough night, his loyalty remains unshaken, noting he's “Still hanging 🤢” but always ready for the next game. This classic track perfectly captures the 'born and bred' pride and rowdy optimism of a life spent at Selhurst Park.
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