Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Self-aware: Openly reflects on patterns like weight changes and eating habits, e.g. noting going from BMI 26 to 20 in “0.4kgs until i’m officially in bmi 19s… crazy to have gone from bmi 26 to bmi 20 in 3 4 months”.
- Humorous: Uses dark and situational humour to cope, like “literally one fart away from being in bmi 19s” and “tmi . . . i just let out the longest fart and dropped 0.1kgs B”H”.
- Politically engaged: Shows interest in politics and critical thinking, e.g. complaining about superficial activism in “it’s literally the black square all over again — get off ur arse and take actual action” and discussing comparative politics in “currently on my comparative politics module”.
- Linguistically curious: Engages with multiple languages and culture, e.g. German in “wenn man kein deutscher ist (oder kein deutsch gelernt hat), man versteht nicht was es bedeutet 😭😭”, Russian in “правда !!!!”, and “i rlly want to learn dutch”.
- Emotionally expressive: Communicates feelings directly, from loneliness and hurt to desire and fear, e.g. “my friends all want to cut me off because of my bpd this is so grand” and “i want to be touched”.
Weaknesses:
- Disordered eating: Frequent fixation on BMI, fasting, purging, and binges, e.g. “need to purge so baf but im out” and “ed starts monday trust… we SHALL be in bmi 19s by the end of next week”.
- Self-destructive coping: Uses harmful strategies like smoking and extreme restriction to handle stress, e.g. “3am cigarette yayyyy” and “fast day tomorrow trust”.
- Volatile relationships: Reports conflict and instability with friends and partners, e.g. “my friends all want to cut me off because of my bpd” and quickly changing boyfriends in “aforementioned bf did not last long… anyway i’m seeing someone else tn teehee”.
- Negative self-talk: Frequently talks harshly about herself and her situation, e.g. “actually kill myself” and describing herself as “dying” from period pain in “actualy never been happier to be dying from my period pain”.
- Body obsession: Constantly bodychecks and worries about looking bloated or “fat,” e.g. “bodycheck”, “why do i look… not bmi 20”, and “i hope i don’t look bloated tomorrow… i have a ball to attend.”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Lisa fits best because she’s intensely intellectual and political while also deeply emotionally turbulent. This user is a politics student and vents like someone who overthinks everything, e.g. “genuinely why do some americans view the rest of the world as LIC… currently on my comparative politics module and would LOVE to see these individuals in a lecture sometime lmfao” and “trying to debate politics with an uneducated person is genuinely like shouting at a brick wall”, which mirrors Lisa’s frustration with ignorance. Like Lisa, she often feels alienated from peers and family: “so my flatmates want to go out drinking… except mine… despite being invited…” and “i really really hate my dad… every time i doll myself up to look nice, he tries to shoot me down.”. There’s also a strong, self-critical perfectionism and body-consciousness reminiscent of Lisa’s episodes about looks and self-worth, seen in tweets such as “i am literally 100 fucking grams from being bmi 19s this is hell” and “tantalisingly close to my gw and i just have to fuck it up”. Finally, her blend of dark humor about her own mental health, like “my flatmates r beingreally loud and i dont like it. actually kill myself”, and sincere yearning for connection, as in “i want to be touched”, strongly evokes Lisa’s combination of melancholy, sensitivity, and need for closeness.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They lean Introvert (I): despite craving touch and connection (“i want to be touched”), they’re often overwhelmed by others, e.g. avoiding flatmates and social spaces (“cooking is CANCELLED today. the people i live with are using the kitchen and i don’t want to see them”) and retreating for solitary cigarettes when overstimulated (“why aremy flatmates screeching in the kitchen. fuck this im going out for a smoke”). Their politics degree, language interest, and abstract framing of weight and identity suggest Intuition (N): they talk about global perspectives (“genuinely why do some americans view the rest of the world as LIC… currently on my comparative politics module”), conceptualise weight as narrative milestones (“russian doll except i’m siberian and i will not survive at the weight i am”), and enjoy learning languages like Dutch and German (“i rlly want to learn dutch”, “wenn man kein deutscher ist (oder kein deutsch gelernt hat), man versteht nicht was es bedeutet”). They are clearly Feeling (F)-oriented: conflict is framed through emotional hurt (“my friends all want to cut me off because of my bpd this is so grand”), they take criticism from family deeply (“every time i doll myself up to look nice, he tries to shoot me down”), and moral judgments are value-laden rather than purely logical (“it’s literally the black square all over again — get off ur arse and take actual action”). Finally, they look more Perceiving (P) than J: their eating patterns and plans are constantly revised on impulse (“ed starts monday trust” vs. later “ordered a fat takeaway because fuck bmi 19 actually”), and they oscillate between resolutions and sudden cravings (“i’ve been craving pizza so bad… should i treat myself one day??”). Taken together—introspective, emotionally intense, idealistic about politics and identity, but inconsistent and driven by feelings over structure—this profile best fits INFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You keep stressing about not making it into the BMI 19s, but as a politics student you should know numbers are easy to manipulate—for example, us going from 2 strangers to 1 disastrous situationship in one Too Good To Go haul.
- You said trying to debate politics with an uneducated person is like shouting at a brick wall—consider this my application to be the overeducated wall you lean on after your 9am lecture and 3am cigarette.
- Your friends might want to cut you off for your BPD, your flatmates ignore you when they go drinking, but you journalling at 2am in your chassidish cardigan, craving pizza and fried chicken, is exactly the kind of girl I’d happily cook for and never let feel left out.
- If that super right‑wing Tory boy who started defending Hitler in your kitchen was a first draft, let me be the revised edition: no salutes, just admiration for your Russian/UK brain, your multilingual tweets, and your ability to soft launch smoking to your dad like it’s a PR campaign.
- You’re out here calculating cbmi, logging fart‑induced 0.1kg drops, and turning mukbangs into science experiments on water weight—how about we run a new study: correlation between hanging out with me and a statistically significant increase in feeling wanted.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Politics undergrad juggling lectures, late-night cigarettes, and too many opinions. Once opened Vaseline after 10 minutes of debate with the lid.– @hadleyrexia
Your signature cocktail
The BMI 19 Soft Launch Spritz
The vodka with Russian honey liqueur nods to their 🇷🇺 roots and slightly sweet, chaotic warmth, echoing lines like “russian doll except i’m siberian and i will not survive at the weight i am”. Pink grapefruit juice brings a sharp, pretty bitterness for the mood swings and BPD struggles in tweets like “my friends all want to cut me off because of my bpd this is so grand”. Dry vermouth represents the politics student who can be a bit acerbic and analytical, as in “trying to debate politics with an uneducated person is genuinely like shouting at a brick wall” and “genuinely why do some americans view the rest of the world as LIC…”. Tonic water keeps it light and fizzy, mirroring their flirty, social side despite exhaustion, like “back to london wahey” and late-night antics such as “3am cigarette yayyyy”. Finally, crushed ice with lemon peel stands for the cold precision and anxiety around control and numbers—“i am literally 100 fucking grams from being bmi 19s this is hell” and “0.4kgs until i’m officially in bmi 19s… crazy to have gone from bmi 26 to bmi 20 in 3 4 months”—while still looking aesthetically coquette like “im so aesthetic coquette lana core”. This is a light but deceptively strong, bittersweet, slightly experimental spritz—perfect for someone who can tweet “soft launched the fact i smoke to my dad. he did not bat an eye” and still turn it into a bit.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Charlotte shows a clear Slytherin streak of ambition and self‑driven goal‑setting, especially around her weight and appearance: she tracks her BMI obsessively and sets hard targets like “ed starts monday trust. may gain like 1kg over the weekend with my parents but we SHALL be in bmi 19s by the end of next week” and “CAN I LOSE THOSE 0.2 KGS YO GET ME INTO BMI 19S”. There’s a ruthless, results‑oriented mindset in lines like “i need to lock in so bad ive been so bad with my eating” and “fast day tomorrow trust”, where she treats her own body as something to discipline to hit goals. She is also strikingly resourceful and pragmatic about discomfort and money, for example “heaven is remembering u could just c/s whatever u are craving. and i have the money to ubereats something that will not be digested” and “c/s another takeaway because idk what to do with my money”, showing a willingness to use any means available to get what she wants (even when unhealthy). Her political and intellectual confidence reinforces this house: she’s studying politics (“politics student”) and talks with a sharp, slightly scornful edge about others’ naivety, as in “trying to debate politics with an uneducated person is genuinely like shouting at a brick wall” and “genuinely why do some americans view the rest of the world as LIC… would LOVE to see these individuals in a lecture sometime lmfao”, which fits Slytherin’s pride and critical eye. While there are flashes of vulnerability and a desire for connection, her overall persona—goal‑obsessed, sharp‑tongued, strategic with her choices, and fiercely self‑preserving in a hostile environment—aligns most strongly with Slytherin rather than the more idealistic or soft‑edged traits of the other houses.
Your movie
Your song
Born to Die - Lana Del Rey
Their mix of self-destructive romanticism, mental health struggles, and aesthetic sensibility aligns strongly with Lana Del Rey’s Born to Die. They openly frame themselves as "coquette lana core" in “im so aesthetic coquette lana core”, which already matches Lana’s melancholic, hyper-feminine persona. Themes of pain, self-sabotage, and fatalism show up in tweets like “my flatmates r beingreally loud and i dont like it. actually kill myself” and “i have to debase myself tonight for a bit of money. it makes me feel sick i don’t want to”, echoing the song’s sense of doomed longing. Their intense relationship with appearance and fragility—e.g. “russian doll except i’m siberian and i will not survive at the weight i am” and frequent bodychecks—fits the song’s fixation on beauty, death, and vulnerability. Overall, Born to Die captures their blend of glamour, chaos, and a morbid, self-aware sense of drama.
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