heathernerys
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green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Outspoken Activist: Her history of political activism, like wearing Bernie Sanders shirts and refusing to stand for the pledge, reflects her strong commitment to her beliefs.
- Passionate Enthusiast: Her lifelong obsession with Star Trek, particularly her crush on Data, shows her ability to deeply connect with her interests.
- Self-Aware Thinker: Her introspection about her racial identity ('do I select white or African?') and autism ('writing an essay makes me physically nauseous') highlights her reflective nature.
- Humorous and Witty: Her tweets, such as 'hot guy I was never going to make a move on or even talk to has a girlfriend NOOOOO,' showcase her sharp, relatable humor.
- Empathetic Animal Lover: Her love for pigeons ('why does everyone hate pigeons so much') and critique of hypocritical attitudes toward animal experimentation reflect her compassion for animals.
Weaknesses:
- Sarcastic Tone: Her sharp sarcasm, like 'leftist free speech: “revolutionize and take down the bourgeoisie” versus rightist free speech: “haha retard jew,”' might alienate some readers.
- Impulsiveness: Spending $370 on Depop in three days ('Is this what addiction feels like') suggests a tendency toward impulsive decisions.
- Overthinking: Her anxiety about unknown causes ('I’m really anxious about something but I don’t know what it is') points to a tendency to overanalyze situations.
- Pessimism: Her tweet 'I used to think I hated humanity but actually I think I just hate men' reflects a cynical worldview that may sometimes overshadow positivity.
- Avoidance: Her reluctance to attend therapy ('I’ve heard therapists don’t like that kind of thing') reveals a potential avoidance of addressing emotional challenges directly.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Hessie shares Lisa Simpson’s intellectual curiosity, activism, and sarcastic wit. Like Lisa, Hessie is politically active, as seen in her tweet about wearing Bernie Sanders shirts to school. Her love for niche topics like Star Trek and her critical thoughts on society ('I think growing up on Star Trek has genuinely influenced my perception...') mirror Lisa’s idealism and passion for knowledge. Both have a sharp tongue when critiquing societal issues, such as Hessie's tweet on AI and capitalism. They’d bond over their shared love for questioning the status quo.
Your MBTI personality Type
INTP
Hessie’s introspection, intellectual curiosity, and love for niche interests suggest an INTP personality type. Her tweet about editing Wikipedia for hours while avoiding an essay ('autism is so ridiculous sometimes') reflects the INTP’s tendency to hyperfocus on intellectual pursuits. Her critical analysis of AI ('the more I think about the commercial push of AI the more unsettled I am') showcases her logical, questioning nature. INTPs are known for their idealism, which aligns with her Star Trek-inspired values ('instilled with such a strong sense of human decency'). Her sarcastic humor ('hot guy I was never going to make a move on has a girlfriend NOOOOO') fits the INTP’s quirky, independent vibe.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a Star Trek episode? Because I could binge-watch you all day and still want more.
- Do you believe in parallel universes? Because in every single one, I’m falling for you.
- Are you Data from Star Trek? Because you’re the only one who computes with my heart.
- You’re like a Depop find—rare, unique, and worth every dollar.
- Are you a pigeon? Because you’re underrated and absolutely adorable.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Preschool teacher, Star Trek enthusiast, leftist with a sarcastic edge. Vegan since birth, obsessed with pigeons and Depop binges. Politics, autism, and existential humor all in one chaotic package. Ignore this (but don't).– @heathernerys
Your signature cocktail
Starfleet Spritz
The 'Starfleet Spritz' captures Hessie’s Star Trek obsession and idealistic personality. Vodka reflects her sharp wit, while Blue Curaçao symbolizes the futuristic, intergalactic vibe of Star Trek. Lemon juice adds a tangy kick, much like her sarcastic humor ('hot guy I was never going to make a move on has a girlfriend NOOOOO'). Sparkling water represents her introspection and clarity ('growing up watching Star Trek made me such a fucking idealist'). Edible gold stars tie it all together with a touch of cosmic flair.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
Hessie fits perfectly into Ravenclaw due to her intellectual curiosity, introspection, and love for niche interests like Star Trek. Her tweet about editing Wikipedia for four hours while avoiding an essay demonstrates her analytical mindset and love for knowledge. Her musings about AI and societal issues, such as 'the more I think about the commercial push of AI the more unsettled I am,' reflect Ravenclaw's tendency to question and analyze. Her quirky humor and unique perspectives also align with the creative and individualistic traits of this house.
Your movie
Your song
Space Oddity - David Bowie
Hessie’s love for Star Trek and her introspective personality align with the themes of isolation and exploration in 'Space Oddity.' Her tweet 'growing up watching Star Trek made me such a fucking idealist' reflects the song’s sense of wonder and melancholy. The line 'Planet Earth is blue and there’s nothing I can do' resonates with her lament about humanity’s hatred and iniquity. Bowie’s iconic space-themed anthem fits her sci-fi obsession and reflective nature perfectly.
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