
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Like Lisa, this user is a “sensitive and poised young scholar” who takes pride in her intellectualism, often claiming that her “words come out like prophecies atp”. She mirrors Lisa’s academic intensity by writing an “Evola essay” and frequently worrying that her interests “make me sound incredibly pretentious.” Both share a sense of alienation from their surroundings, with the user lamenting, “I hate this country, everyone is so easily offended”, much like Lisa’s frustration with Springfield. Despite her high-brow interests, she possesses a dramatic, obsessive streak, often becoming a “slob” for specific fixations or historical figures she finds “so beautiful.”

Your MBTI personality Type
@heilacht displays Introversion (I) through a focus on internal fantasy and solitary academic interests, such as “showing snippets of my Evola essay to oomf”. Their Intuition (N) is evident in their tendency to romanticize and “yume a historical figure”, focusing on abstract archetypes rather than objective history. The Feeling (F) trait is prominent in their deeply emotional and personal language, claiming to “put my heart into this because I miss him” when discussing historical figures. Finally, they exhibit Perceiving (P) through their self-confessed “lazy” approach to posting and a chaotic, meme-driven social media presence that values spontaneity over structure.

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Your new Twitter bio
Business student and history enthusiast with a tailored wardrobe. Ask about my essay on Evola or the time I accidentally presented Goering in business class.– @heilacht

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail is a rich, experimental concoction designed for a “poised young scholar” who isn't afraid to “Goeringmaxx harder”. The heavy cream base honors the user's self-deprecating humor about being “the fattest of them all”, while the gold-flecked schnapps captures the “aura” of the historical figures they romanticize. It carries the “heart of a greedy Dutchman” through a potent gin kick, softened by a floral rose note because “sometimes he’s just so tender”. It is served with a comically long garnish to mimic the “pipe this comically long” seen in their feed.

Your Hogwarts House
The user demonstrates a strong Slytherin preoccupation with lineage, status, and the aesthetic of power, frequently discussing historical hierarchies and "aura." They exhibit a self-serving resourcefulness and a blunt focus on self-preservation, such as when they describe a “fasting hack” or boast about having “tailored pieces” in their closet. Their ambition is channeled through a niche intellectualism, as seen when they position themselves as a “poised young scholar” compared to others. Furthermore, they display the classic Slytherin trait of being highly selective with their loyalty, stating that they “will never explain... lore to anyone ever again” to those they deem unworthy. Their fascination with controversial figures like Skorzeny and Goering mirrors the house's historical leanings toward ambitious and often polarizing leaders.

Your movie

Your song
This song captures the user's specific subcultural intersection of aestheticized history, internet 'doomer' irony, and a fascination with 'reichtwt' imagery. The lyrics' themes of mourning a lost era and seeing 'the light in his eyes' mirror her sentimental posts, such as when she claims “I put my heart into this because I miss him and I love him so much this is so unfair” or “It always hurts to remember that he was given the chance to fight it in court”. Her blend of self-deprecating humor and intense historical 'yume' (self-insertion) matches the song's synth-pop melancholy, particularly when she describes herself as a “sensitive and poised young scholar”. Ultimately, the track is the unofficial anthem for the exact type of “expert Goering and Skorzeny propagandist” edits she produces.

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heilacht
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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