Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Grateful: Repeatedly thanks followers and expresses affection, e.g., celebrating milestones like “one thousand followers thank you”, “thanks for all the new followers i love you all”, and “3k followers can you all lend me a dollar… i love you all thanks”.
- Humorous: Uses absurd, self-deprecating, and shock humor, for example “when i get up from my bed after gooning there's a sweat stain in the shape of my cheeks” and “fappy wheels”.
- Candid: Openly shares thoughts and bodily issues without filters, like “i'm not being funny i'm actually struggling to poop rn it's all just air and pain” and “my gums hurt am i dyin”.
- Loyal: Defends people and things he likes, such as “oh my fucking god he was joking shut up” and standing up against discrimination in “it's disgusting to discriminate people for being gay and it's also disgusting to discriminate straight people”.
- Engaged: Interacts frequently via quote-tweets and replies, e.g., playful callouts like “that's it i'm puttin you on full blast” and multiple quoted reactions to others’ posts across the timeline.
Weaknesses:
- Extreme_vulgarity: Many tweets are graphically sexual or bodily, such as “i like to poop in the shower and stomp it down the drain with the heel of my foot” and “i want to be hung by a hook being shoved up my ass”, which can alienate others.
- Hypersexual_focus: Timeline is dominated by sexual content and fetish talk, e.g., “i live for sodomy”, “i just wish the ddlc girls would step on me”, and repeated mentions of “gooning” and porn.
- Self_degradation: Frequently calls himself a freak or talentless, like “i'm just a big freak im so sorry ill never act like this again”, “i'm a talentless fuckin slob”, and “i hate who i am”.
- Offensive_language: Uses slurs and harsh insults, such as “retard versus retard” and aggressive phrasing like “fuck off”, which can hurt others and damage his image.
- Unhealthy_obsessions: Jokes suggest potentially unhealthy patterns regarding sexual behavior and bodily harm, e.g., “my meat hurts whenever i touch it now because i've beaten it too much and too hard” and “i'd rather remove post nut clarity than solve world hunger”.
Your Simpsons character
Homer Simpson
The overall mix of crude humor, impulsive sexuality, and sudden bursts of oddly sincere affection fits Homer Simpson best. Like Homer oversharing about his body and appetites, this user constantly posts hyper-physical, gross-out lines such as “i like pooping when it's hot cuz it liquified in my body and shoots out it feels like i'm peeing out my butt” and “my drawing took more effort than your ai shit and i'm a talentless fuckin slob”, which mirrors Homer’s self-deprecating slobbishness. Their obsessive horniness and lack of filter, seen in tweets like “i wanna slap yuri's ass and let it jiggle…” and “i live for sodomy”, match Homer’s often one-track, pleasure-driven mind. At the same time, they intersperse this with simple, earnest affection for followers, such as “thanks for all the new followers i love you all” and “i'm full of love”, just as Homer can pivot from idiotic to unexpectedly loving. The combination of chaotic libido, bodily comedy, low self-esteem, and occasional heartfelt sentiment makes Homer the closest Simpsons match.
Your MBTI personality Type
ESFP
They present as highly outgoing and attention-seeking, frequently celebrating follower milestones and openly engaging with others, for example thanking followers and joking about money and beer in “3k followers can you all lend me a dollar so i can buy more beer and gummy worms…”, which points strongly to Extraversion (E). Their tweets are almost entirely about immediate bodily sensations, sex, and concrete experiences rather than abstract theories, like “when i get up from my bed after gooning there's a sweat stain in the shape of my cheeks” and “i'm not being funny i'm actually struggling to poop rn it's all just air and pain”, supporting Sensing (S). Decision-making and expression are blunt, crude, and low on emotional tact, such as “i'd rather remove post nut clarity than solve world hunger” and “retard versus retard”, indicating Thinking (T) over Feeling despite occasional statements about discrimination or love. Their lifestyle appears impulsive, chaotic, and pleasure-driven rather than planned or structured—e.g., constantly “gooning,” sudden topic shifts, and confessions like “i tried to do a wordle but i'm too stupid so i deleted the app and went back to rule 34”—which fits Perceiving (P). Overall, the combination of loud social presence, sensory focus, blunt logic-first content, and spontaneous hedonism is most consistent with ESFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You keep talking about gooning so much that I’m starting to think the ONLY thing that needs replenishing isn’t your balls, it’s your hydration—wanna take a break and let me be the drink in that ‘water you’d pay to drink’ tweet?
- You said Full Metal Jacket is your favourite movie—if we watch it together, I promise I’ll be the ‘peace’ to your ‘born to goon’ helmet: unhinged on the outside, secretly soft for you on the inside.
- You hit 500, 1k, 2.4k and 3k followers in like a day while tweeting about feet, poop and DDLC—imagine what you could achieve if you focused that grind on me instead of Rule 34.
- You said you’d rather remove post-nut clarity than solve world hunger; I’m not world hunger, but I can definitely make you forget about clarity for a while—strictly in a consensual, well-hydrated, properly-rested way.
- You keep apologising for being ‘a huge freak’ over Monika socks, Natsuki grins and Yuri’s scars; I’m just trying to be the person who replies, ‘it’s okay, freak, you’re safe with me—now tell me more about those socks.’
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
DDLC enthusiast, movie enjoyer & serial over-sharer. Once deleted Wordle for being too hard and went back to browsing art. Opinions my own.– @henry5839201746
Your signature cocktail
The Terminal Goon
Overproof spiced rum stands in for how unhinged and intense Henry is, from “i live for sodomy” to “my balls gonna bust”. Sour gummy worm syrup nods to their love of candy chaos and asking followers for a beer-and-gummy-worm fund in “3k followers can you all lend me a dollar so i can buy more beer and gummy worms”. The espresso shot is their cracked-out, never-stop-gooning energy from “i hate going outside cuz that means i can't goon” and “i don't have phone notifications from twitter on cuz it blocks the screen when i'm gooning”. Salty-sweet whipped cream with chili represents how they mix gross-out shock and weird sincerity, like “i like to blow my nose into my hands and lick the snot up” right next to “thanks for all the new followers i love you all”. The whole drink is messy, horny, and unexpectedly affectionate—just like their thirsting over DDLC girls in “i just wish the ddlc girls would step on me” and “i want to fondle yuri's breasts until she lactates through her uniform”.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Henry’s defining traits are impulsive indulgence, fixation on desire, and a kind of shameless, self-focused drive, which aligns closest with Slytherin. His timeline is dominated by extreme sexual and bodily posts like “i live for sodomy”, “i want to be hung by a hook being shoved up my ass”, and “i like to poop in the shower and stomp it down the drain with the heel of my foot”, all of which show a willingness to push boundaries and shock others for his own gratification. He repeatedly frames everything around his pleasure and fetishes — for example, “i'd rather remove post nut clarity than solve world hunger” and “i want a new ddlc game… so the hype can mean people make more porn of the characters” — which reflects self-serving prioritization rather than fairness or duty. There are hints of loyalty and affection (like thanking followers: “thanks for all the new followers i love you all”), but they clearly sit behind his drive to grow and enjoy the attention. His willingness to embrace being seen as a “huge freak,” as in “i'm sorry man i'm just a huge freak”, and to lean into that persona without shame suggests the ambition and calculated self-presentation characteristic of Slytherin rather than the idealism of Gryffindor, the warmth of Hufflepuff, or the intellectual focus of Ravenclaw.
Your movie
Your song
Closer - Nine Inch Nails
A well-suited song for Henry is “Closer” because its raw, obsessive sexuality and self-loathing match the tone of many of his tweets. The track’s fixation on lust and degradation parallels posts like “i wanna slap yuri's ass and let it jiggle and the energy will transfer from her booty to her breasts and her breasts will jiggle too and i'll time it and when it's done i'll goon to her for that amount of time that her features jiggled” and “i live for sodomy”. Its aggressive, explicit vibe also resonates with his extreme fetish jokes, for example “i want to be hung by a hook being shoved up my ass” and “foot job except instead of my dick it's my tongue”. At the same time, the song’s undercurrent of self-disgust fits messages like “i hate who i am” and repeated apologies for being a “freak,” such as “im sorry im just a huge freak i hate myself im sorry”. Overall, Closer captures the mix of hypersexual humor, compulsion, and self-directed negativity that defines his online persona.
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