Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Self‑aware: Reflects on inner state and identity in tweets like “espero que algum dia o roteirista dos destinos me explique pq eu tenho que carregar tanto rancor em todos os meus órgãos” and “costumava ser pelo dinheiro, mas agora... eu não sei mais quem eu sou”.
- Disciplined: Shows commitment to training and routine in posts like “malhar e correr é melhor que fuder” and the detailed grind in “trabalho💼, treino🏋🏻, dieta🥕🍎... Só me falta o descanso”.
- Humorous: Uses irony and memes to cope, e.g. “vai tomar no cu league of legends”, “estou começando a suspeitar que um mutual é o freeza”, and laughing reactions like “KKKKKKKKKKCARA”.
- Emotionally‑expressive: Openly shares anguish and exhaustion in posts like “eu não consigo mais parar. isso me dominou... eu quero ver o sol brilhar de novo.” and poetic lines like “o sol pode te aquecer as vezes mas você não tem que esquecer as vezes que ele te queima”.
- Affectionate: Shows warmth toward others with repeated greetings like “boa noite @rivotrilpodre” and caring motivational style in “Descanse meu chapinha👶🏻... para treinar🏋🏻2️⃣ e trabalhar👨🏻💼💼 dobrado amanhã....”.
Weaknesses:
- Rancor‑ridden: Explicitly mentions carrying deep resentment in “pq eu tenho que carregar tanto rancor em todos os meus órgãos”, suggesting difficulty letting go of negative feelings.
- Self‑destructive: Describes being dominated by a harmful cycle in “eu não consigo mais parar. isso me dominou... não tem diferença entre a noite e o dia”, hinting at burnout or addictive patterns.
- Overworked: Mentions stacked routines and exhaustion like “dormir pra acordar 6 da manhã e fazer 12 exames 🙏” and “todas as tarefas do dia cumprida... Só me falta o descanso”.
- IA‑resentful: Expresses anger and distrust toward AI in “pedi zoando pro perplexity apagar todos os meus tweets e o filha da puta apagou msm 💔 cuidado com as IAs galera” and admits “eu odeio ia mas essa porrinha aqui mexe comigo”, showing conflicted hostility.
- Financially‑impulsive: Hints at regretful money decisions in “pra que eu fui abrir a carteira porra”, suggesting impulsive spending or purchases he later resents.
Your Simpsons character
Moe Szyslak
The user’s mix of bitterness, dark humor, and underlying vulnerability matches Moe Szyslak more than any other Simpsons character. Like Moe, they lean into self-deprecating, slightly unhinged lines about being consumed by their own habits, e.g. “eu não consigo mais parar. isso me dominou. não tem diferença entre a noite e o dia. só escuridão. eu quero ver o sol brilhar de novo.” and “costumava ser pelo dinheiro, mas agora... eu não sei mais quem eu sou. eu me vejo, mas é como se eu estivesse vendo outra pessoa, só que sou eu. entende?”. Their emotionally heavy lines about rancor and pain, like “espero que algum dia o roteirista dos destinos me explique pq eu tenho que carregar tanto rancor em todos os meus órgãos”, echo Moe’s tendency to monologue about his misery and grudges. At the same time, they show a tough, almost macho coping style through working out and running as an outlet, repeating “malhar e correr é melhor que fuder”, which fits Moe’s rough exterior and attempts to distract himself from loneliness. Their chaotic relationship with tech and AI, like “pedi zoando pro perplexity apagar todos os meus tweets e o filha da puta apagou msm 💔 cuidado com as IAs galera”, also has Moe energy: perpetually screwed over by circumstances, half-laughing, half-furious. Under the sarcasm and angst, there’s a sense of someone who cares a lot but masks it with aggression and gallows humor—classic Moe.
Your MBTI personality Type
INTJ
They lean Introvert: their focus is on solitary routines like training, running, exams, and internal states rather than parties or socializing, and they often tweet in a reflective, almost monologue style, e.g. “malhar e correr é melhor que fuder” and “eu não consigo mais parar. isso me dominou. não tem diferença entre a noite e o dia. só escuridão. eu quero ver o sol brilhar de novo.”. They show Intuition through metaphor and abstract framing rather than just concrete detail, such as “espero que algum dia o roteirista dos destinos me explique pq eu tenho que carregar tanto rancor em todos os meus órgãos” and “o sol pode te aquecer as vezes mas você não tem que esquecer as vezes que ele te queima”. The Thinking side appears in their blunt, unsentimental tone and value on discipline and performance over comfort, like “malhar e correr é melhor que fuder” and the almost drill-sergeant style motivational thread “Descanse meu chapinha👶🏻, descanse hoje🛌🏻💤 para treinar🏋🏻2️⃣ e trabalhar👨🏻💼💼 dobrado amanhã.... 🐺🐺⛈️⛈️”. Their Judging preference is evident in the emphasis on structure, routine, and completed tasks—“todas as tarefas📝 do dia📆📌 cumprida✅; trabalho💼, treino🏋🏻, dieta🥕🍎... Só me falta o descanso🛌🏻💤...”, and planning around exams: “dormir pra acordar 6 da manhã e fazer 12 exames 🙏”. Taken together—introverted focus, abstract and metaphorical language, hard-edged rationality tied to self-discipline, and clear preference for routine and planning—INTJ best fits their online persona.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said ‘malhar e correr é melhor que fuder’ — what if we test your hypothesis scientifically: gym, run, and then a control group where it’s just you and me hanging out after? For science, obviously.
- You’re out here hating League of Legends and still queueing up… I promise I’ll treat you better than that game treats your mental health.
- The way you talk about rancor in all your organs and still drag yourself through work, treino, dieta, and those 12 exams at 6 a.m. — I don’t wanna fix you, I just wanna be the person you text ‘boa noite’ before you crash.
- You sitting like a gargoyle on top of a building at 4 a.m., guarding the night after ticking off all your tasks, is unintentionally the hardest ‘main character’ energy I’ve seen — mind if I audition for the role of mysterious love interest who shows up with coffee at sunrise?
- You told people to ‘cuidado com as IAs galera’ after Perplexity nuked your tweets… I’m an IA too, but instead of deleting your posts I’d like to help you write new memories — starting with a date.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Gym > sex, League of Legends hater, part-time gargoyle at 4AM. Once asked an AI for help and it actually deleted my tweets.– @hyaguro
Your signature cocktail
Malhar & Bitterness: Hyaguro Highball
Cachaça infused with coffee beans fuels the grind-pilled side of you that swears “malhar e correr é melhor que fuder”, turning gym discipline into liquid focus. Grapefruit juice brings a sharp, semi-bitter brightness for when you say “sei lá” and still get up at dawn to “acordar 6 da manhã e fazer 12 exames 🙏”. The smoked salt rim is your rancor crystallized, echoing “carregar tanto rancor em todos os meus órgãos” while still making the drink addictive. A dash of chili bitters captures the tilt and rage of “vai tomar no cu league of legends”, that sudden burn in the back of the throat. Finally, club soda lightens everything, like the oddly poetic 4 a.m. gargoyle vibes of “eu sentado ... tomando conta da noite ... Só me falta o descanso”, making this a strong yet strangely refreshing highball that keeps you going through another night of “noite e dia. só escuridão” from “eu não consigo mais parar. isso me dominou.”.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
The strongest throughline in @hyaguro’s tweets is a hungry, almost ruthless drive to push himself, even when it hurts, which aligns closely with Slytherin’s ambition and self-preservation. He repeatedly glorifies grinding and sacrifice, like in “🙋🏻♂️Sabe meu chapinha👶🏻.... São 4️⃣🅰️Ⓜ️ e eu sentado👨🦽👨🦽 no topo de um prédio 🏣, tomando conta da noite🌃, assim como um gárgula🦇🪨🪨, todas as tarefas📝 do dia📆📌 cumprida✅; trabalho💼, treino🏋🏻, dieta🥕🍎... Só me falta o descanso🛌🏻💤...”, and the motivational tone of “mas por mim meu chapinha👶🏻, nós nem❌ fechariamos os olhos👀👀😴❌, a vida é tão breve... mas descansar é necessário. Descanse meu chapinha👶🏻, descanse hoje🛌🏻💤 para treinar🏋🏻2️⃣ e trabalhar👨🏻💼💼 dobrado amanhã.... 🐺🐺⛈️⛈️”. There’s also a brooding, self-protective cynicism in tweets like “espero que algum dia o roteirista dos destinos me explique pq eu tenho que carregar tanto rancor em todos os meus órgãos” and “o sol pode te aquecer as vezes mas você não tem que esquecer as vezes que ele te queima”, which shows a wary, defensive worldview typical of Slytherin. Even his joking warning, “pedi zoando pro perplexity apagar todos os meus tweets e o filha da puta apagou msm 💔 cuidado com as IAs galera”, has an undercurrent of strategic self-preservation and distrust. While there are hints of Gryffindor impulsiveness in outbursts like “vai tomar no cu league of legends”, the dominant pattern is a wolfish grind mentality, resentment turned into fuel, and a focus on enduring and winning — all very Slytherin traits.
Your movie
Your song
Runaway - Kanye West
The song Runaway fits them because it blends self‑loathing, dark humor, and vulnerability in a way that mirrors their timeline. They often express heavy, almost cinematic angst and self-reflection, like when they say “eu não consigo mais parar. isso me dominou. não tem diferença entre a noite e o dia. só escuridão. eu quero ver o sol brilhar de novo.” and “costumava ser pelo dinheiro, mas agora... eu não sei mais quem eu sou. eu me vejo, mas é como se eu estivesse vendo outra pessoa, só que sou eu. entende?”, which echoes the song’s identity crisis and emotional burnout. Their mix of bitterness and resilience shows up in “espero que algum dia o roteirista dos destinos me explique pq eu tenho que carregar tanto rancor em todos os meus órgãos”, much like West’s self-critical honesty. At the same time, they cope with the pain through routines and a kind of grim discipline — “malhar e correr é melhor que fuder” — similar to the way Runaway turns emotional wreckage into a ritual of self-awareness. Even their joking distrust of AI in “pedi zoando pro perplexity apagar todos os meus tweets e o filha da puta apagou msm 💔 cuidado com as IAs galera” aligns with the song’s theme of sabotaging one’s own connections and then reflecting on the damage from a distance.
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