Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Self-aware: They notice their own habits and contradictions, like watching a video on phone addiction while scrolling Twitter: “yk u cooked when u start watching a video on how to spend less time on your phone and when you realize youre scrolling on twitter”.
- Humorous: They use jokes and exaggerated phrasing to cope, e.g. comparing themselves to a divorced dad: “getting home after work and drinking on the couch got me feeling like a divorced dad”.
- Emotionally honest: They openly express negative feelings and frustrations instead of hiding them, such as hating their job and city: “i hate my boss, i hate my coworker, i hate this job, i hate this city, i hate”.
- Committed fan: They show strong attachment to music and media, defending artists like sewerslvt and celebrating finished works: “js saw a video ab sewerslvt in big 2026 and the way this guy talks about her songs pisses me off”, “i just finished it. oh my god”.
- Introspective: They reflect on time, routines, and meaning, like noticing how time feels off after the pandemic: “the pandemic completely fucked up my perception of time” and thinking about posting as “talking to myself but w the extra steps”: “i feel like posting here is basically talking to myself but w the extra steps and with people being able to hear it”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-harm behavior: They talk about cutting as a desired routine and even excitement about posting it: “cant wait for school to end already i js wanna cut myself everyday for the next 2 months and not worry ab people noticing”, “its over!! might start posting my cuts on here 😛”.
- Addictive tendencies: They frequently mention dependence on nicotine, dopamine, and phone use: “all i need is nicotine and dopamine ong” and noticing their own doomscrolling: “woke up at 4am bc of a nightmare and now im scrolling on twt again what am i doing”.
- Impulsive risk-taking: They talk casually about stealing and risking housing/job for hair decisions: “i forgot how expensive these things were wtf ima start stealing ts” and “ima get locs idc anymore might lose my current job over this and potentially a place to live BUT its worth it”.
- Negative self-image: They describe themselves harshly and focus on feeling ugly or chopped without skincare: “staying w my mom for a while and i forgot to bring my skincare stuff now i feel dry and ugly and chopped”.
- Work-life imbalance: They are stuck in long shifts and express strong hatred toward their job and environment: “guess who is gonna be working for 11 hours straight for the next 6 7 days 🤤🤤” and “i hate my boss, i hate my coworker, i hate this job, i hate this city, i hate”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
The best match is Lisa Simpson, but filtered through a much more jaded, online-poisoned 2020s lens. Like Lisa, this user is self-aware and introspective, often turning their thoughts inward and overanalyzing life, as seen in posts like “time is passing by too quickly” and “the pandemic completely fucked up my perception of time”. There’s a strong sense of feeling misunderstood or invisible, which mirrors Lisa’s recurring loneliness, especially in “i hate birthdays… i just want a message. a fucking cake emoji is enough, js show me that you know i exist” and “i feel like posting here is basically talking to myself but w the extra steps”. The user clearly has strong opinions and niche interests—digital music collections, visual novels, specific artists—which recalls Lisa’s intense attachment to her own passions, shown in “larping is a whole different level of lazy… just play the damn thing” and “js saw a video ab sewerslvt… the way this guy talks about her songs pisses me off”. Finally, the darker self-harm and burnout themes (“i genuinely forgot that cutting myself was an option”, “cant wait for school to end already i js wanna cut myself everyday”) feel like an exaggerated, chronically-online version of Lisa’s depressive episodes when she feels trapped by her environment and disconnected from everyone around her.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They read as strongly introverted: they describe posting as "talking to myself" in “i feel like posting here is basically talking to myself but w the extra steps and with people being able to hear it”, complain about their boss, coworker, city and job in “i hate my boss, i hate my coworker, i hate this job, i hate this city, i hate”, and don’t seem to enjoy typical social celebrations, saying “i hate birthdays… i just want a message”. Their interests and language lean intuitive: they talk about the pandemic warping their perception of time in “the pandemic completely fucked up my perception of time”, joke in abstract/wordplay like “she kaguya on my iroha till i yachiyo”, and rant about media culture and alternatives to social media in “we should all start looking for real alternatives for social media, bring back blogs and forums”. They’re clearly feeling‑dominated, very open about emotional pain and validation needs, as in “i hate birthdays… js show me that you know i exist” and the repeated self‑harm references like “i just finished it. oh my god” alongside “i genuinely forgot that cutting myself was an option”. Their style is more perceiving than judging: they seem impulsive and go-with-the-flow—working 11‑hour shifts while "dopaminemaxxing" on Twitter in “im so lucky to work in one of the emptiest shops ever i can spend the whole day dopaminemaxxing on twt”, talking about maybe making a strawpage someday in “i think ima make a strawpage or a proper intro for this acc”, and making spontaneous choices about hair and vaping like “ima get locs idc anymore might lose my current job over this and potentially a place to live BUT its worth it”. Taken together—introspective, emotionally intense, idealistic about online culture, but unstructured and impulsive—the profile best matches INFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said all you need is nicotine and dopamine — controversial take, but have you tried adding ‘talking to me in DMs’ to that stack? It hits different.
- You hate your boss, your coworker, your job, your city… statistically speaking, you’re due to like *one* thing. I volunteer as that one thing.
- You’re out here building a digital music collection, missing physical games, and defending sewerslvt — I’m just saying, that’s dangerously close to ‘person I’d spend 11-hour shifts and late-night scrolls with’ territory.
- You forgot cutting was an option, you joke about posting your cuts, and you wanna be the Haru Urara of shtwt — how about I just be the annoying optimist in your replies reminding you you deserve more than pain and defective geekbars.
- You’re talking about bringing back blogs and forums while doomscrolling at 4am — if we made a forum together, I’d name the first thread ‘Applications to smoke in bathroom corridors and overthink life with sprekelia’.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Retail goblin, nicotine critic & digital hoarder. Once watched a ‘use your phone less’ video while doomscrolling—still counting it as self‑improvement.– @idntcareifucare
Your signature cocktail
Nicotine & Dopamine Fizz
The Nicotine & Dopamine Fizz is a wired, restless mix for someone who admits that “all i need is nicotine and dopamine ong” and spends shifts “dopaminemaxxing on twt” in an empty shop. 51 Ice or citrus hard soda nods to them saying “51 ice eh uma das melhores coisas q o homem inventou pqpp”, giving the drink a cheap, fizzy sweetness like after-work decompression. A clean shot of Smirnoff vodka references their quest to get the right bottle after ending up with “leonice or whatever the fuck it was instead of smirnoff”, representing their stubbornness about small comforts. The espresso or cold brew is the insomnia and overthinking of waking up at 4am like “now im scrolling on twt again what am i doing”, keeping the drink tense and buzzing. A dash of saline or bitters stands in for the burnout and quiet resentment in “i hate my boss, i hate my coworker, i hate this job, i hate this city, i hate”, cutting through the sweetness with something sharp and real. The charcoal-black sugar rim evokes their shtwt edge—wanting blades and cuts like “i need blades dull scissors aint enough”—but turns it into something darkly pretty and consumable instead of destructive.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
They show a strong streak of self‑preservation and willingness to bend rules for their own comfort or goals, which is very Slytherin-coded. For instance, they casually talk about shoplifting with “i forgot how expensive these things were wtf ima start stealing ts”, and openly admit to pirating media with “larping is a whole different level of lazy, there isnt a single vn out there that you cant pirate just play the damn thing”, showing pragmatic resourcefulness over rule-following. Their desire to escape their current life and upgrade it (“need a laptop,” “hate this job/city”) in tweets like “i hate my boss, i hate my coworker, i hate this job, i hate this city, i hate” and “ima get locs idc anymore might lose my current job over this and potentially a place to live BUT its worth it” reflects ambitious self-definition and prioritizing their own path, even at real cost. Their focus on maximizing dopamine and nicotine hits, seen in “all i need is nicotine and dopamine ong” and the long saga of optimizing their vape setup, suggests a calculated pursuit of what they want, not passive drifting. While there are hints of introspection and some Hufflepuff-like endurance (working 11-hour shifts, feeling invisible on social media), the dominant pattern is strategic, rule-flexible self-interest, which aligns best with Slytherin.
Your movie
Your song
Bored - Billie Eilish
A well‑known song that fits them is Bored by Billie Eilish, which captures a mix of apathy, emotional exhaustion, and quiet self‑destruction. They talk about hating their job and city (“i hate my boss, i hate my coworker, i hate this job, i hate this city, i hate”) and feeling like posting is just talking to themself with extra steps (“i feel like posting here is basically talking to myself but w the extra steps and with people being able to hear it”), which echoes the song’s mood of emotional burnout and disillusionment. Their reliance on nicotine and constant scrolling for stimulation (“all i need is nicotine and dopamine ong”, “im so lucky to work in one of the emptiest shops ever i can spend the whole day dopaminemaxxing on twt”) matches the song’s numb, going-through-the-motions energy. The self-harm ideation and shtwt identity (“i genuinely forgot that cutting myself was an option”, “cant wait for school to end already i js wanna cut myself everyday for the next 2 months”) reflect deeper pain under their detached tone, similar to the quiet hurt beneath Bored’s lyrics. Altogether, the mix of boredom, self-destructive coping, and low-key despair in their tweets aligns strongly with the atmosphere and themes of this song.
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