Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Affectionate friend: Shows care for friends and family, like worrying about Helloah in “mano, essa helloah tá me preocupando num nível, mds onde ela se meteu?” and planning a surprise for her sister in “fizemos a supresa p minha irmã e a diva até chorou, tadinha da minha bebê ❤️”.
- Supportive fan: Expresses strong, positive enthusiasm for artists and series, e.g. “MEU DEUS EU AINDA NÃO ACREDITO QUE TEREMOS UM ESPECIAL DE DENIED LOVE, NÓS SAFICAS VENCEMOS MUITOOOOO” and “caralho q delícia, pode lançar uns 30 filmes de um lugar silencioso e eu irei assistir todos”.
- Humorous storyteller: Uses self‑deprecating humor and vivid images in daily life stories such as “nada mais satisfatório que chegar em casa e ter um almoço quentinho te esperando. comi igual uma moradora de rua dps de usar droga” and laughing at her own pranks in “eu inventando mentira no meu grupo de amigas e as trouxas caindo na fake news e eu aqui chorando igual uma idiota de tanto rir”.
- Family‑oriented: Frequently centers her sister and relatives, e.g. birthday preparations in “fiz um pedido de bolo e torta pro aniversário da minha irmã”, surprise gifts in “bom dia ☀️ já acordei entregando o presente da minha irmã”, and excitement at becoming an aunt in “EU SEREI TITIA CARALHO”.
- Emotionally honest: Openly shares joy and vulnerability, from happiness about food in “acabei de bater um pratão de comida… mds eu tô de buchinho cheio e feliz” to grief and anxiety about fellow patients in “a pior notícia que me aparece é sempre a próxima… meu psicológico tá uma merda”.
Weaknesses:
- Harsh language: Frequently uses insults and swearing at others, such as “namoral, vai tomar no cu fdp”, “eu mato essa piranha”, and cursing her sister in “culpa da puta da minha irmã que colocou no pote errado 🤬”.
- Impulsive anger: Reacts with strong frustration to inconveniences, like ruining food in “AAAA MANO, VTNC fui colocar um pouco de farinha… estraguei a comida 😭” and betting mishaps in “deu tudo errado amg, quero reembolso”.
- Morbid humor: Uses extreme or dark comparisons for jokes, e.g. “comi igual uma moradora de rua dps de usar droga” and “e foi aqui que eu chorei igual uma puta na chuva”, which can be hurtful to some readers.
- Emotional overload: Shows signs that stress and health issues heavily impact her mood, like “hoje o dia tá conspirando contra mim, só pode” and feeling unable to cope after deaths at the clinic in “meu psicológico tá uma merda, só sinto vontade de ir embora e chorar, porém nem isso posso fazer”.
- Conflict‑prone humor: Jokes and pranks often involve others at their expense, e.g. spreading fake stories in “sem nada pra fazer, acho que vou espalhar fake news no meu outro insta” and hoping to ruin a friend’s hookup in “espero que eu tenha estragado a foda alheia das bichinhas 😏”.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
This user most closely matches Bart Simpson: chaotic, funny, a bit foul-mouthed, and always stirring up trouble with affection underneath. They show Bart-like mischief and troll energy, joking about spreading lies and chaos, like when they say “sem nada pra fazer, acho que vou espalhar fake news no meu outro insta” and “eu inventando mentira no meu grupo de amigas e as trouxas caindo na fake news e eu aqui chorando igual uma idiota de tanto rir”. Their language is often rude but playful, echoing Bart’s rebellious tone in tweets such as “namoral, vai tomar no cu fdp” and “duas passivas dessas? vão fazer o que? bater bunda?”. Like Bart, they deeply care about their friends and family despite the joking, shown when they plan surprises for their sister in “fizemos a supresa p minha irmã e a diva até chorou, tadinha da minha bebê ❤️” and celebrate becoming an aunt in “EU SEREI TITIA CARALHO”. They also cope with difficult situations, like hemodialysis and deaths at the clinic, through dark humor and blunt honesty, reminiscent of Bart’s mix of vulnerability and bravado, as in “a pior notícia que me aparece é sempre a próxima… meu psicológico tá uma merda”.
Your MBTI personality Type
ESFP
They come across as an Extrovert (E): they are constantly interacting with friends, mutuals, Uber drivers and family, joking about Free Fire with others and group chats, and publicly narrating social life like “tava jogando free fire com a lola, mari e gabs e as três são horríveis, perdi minha patente de mestre por causa delas” and “a lola foi sair num encontro com uma mutual e sumiu do nada, aí liguei pra ela, e ela tava no banheiro com a menina, espero que eu tenha estragado a foda alheia das bichinhas 😏”. Their focus is strongly Sensing (S): tweets are about food, bodily sensations, hemodialysis fatigue, the temperature, clothes, and concrete details such as “como duas espigas de milho com manteiga, grill e lemon pepper. to nas nuvens” and “DO NADAAA UM FRIOOO DO COROLHO e eu na rua com uma regata e um short beira cu”, rather than abstract theories. They clearly favor Feeling (F) over impersonal logic, reacting emotionally and relationally — celebrating fandom wins, getting angry or affectionate with friends and family, as in “fizemos a supresa p minha irmã e a diva até chorou, tadinha da minha bebê ❤️” and the vulnerable reflection “é foda tá na mesma situação, meu psicológico tá uma merda, só sinto vontade de ir embora e chorar”. Their style is very Perceiving (P): they seem spontaneous, joking about spreading fake news, making last-minute decisions, and having chaotic mistakes like “AAAA MANO, VTNC fui colocar um pouco de farinha no prato e coloquei a porr do whey”, rather than showing structured planning or rigid schedules. Overall, their energetic, socially engaged, sensory-oriented, emotional, in-the-moment way of tweeting fits an ESFP profile.
Some pickup lines for you
- You watching GL, crying over Denied Love specials and calling Lingling the prettiest woman alive… be honest, when do I get my audition to be your next favorite sapphic storyline?
- You said you’d watch like 30 ‘A Quiet Place’ films—good, because if we ever date, the only quiet place vai ser o cinema, porque eu vou passar a sessão inteira cochichando cantada no seu ouvido.
- You pulling hemo, craving manga verde com sal, and still having humor pra chamar seu almoço de ‘comi igual moradora de rua pós droga’… your resilience and chaos combo is kinda sexy, can I be the reason you feel buchinho cheio e feliz um dia?
- If você desinstalou o Free Fire porque o HUD virou merda, tudo bem; we can just duo-queue na vida real: eu tankando os dias ruins da clínica com você e você me carregando na risada estourada de áudio do zap.
- You sabotaging a foda alheia da Lola, espalhando fake news pros amigos, e ainda organizando surpresa que faz sua irmã chorar… eu tô pronta pra ser a próxima vítima das suas trollagens, contanto que no final tenha bolo personalizado e beijo.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
GL enthusiast, dialysis warrior & honorary aunt. Once poured whey on lunch instead of flour and tweeted through the rage. Here for series, food & chaos.– @idolglwt
Your signature cocktail
Hemodrunkásia Safada Spritz
This cocktail is strong but playful, like someone who says they’re tired yet still screams about GL premieres and football — a nod to their hemodialysis days and dark humor about exhaustion in “hoje irei dormir cedo pq toda segunda a hemodiálise acaba comigo, isso me suga tanto q consigo ver os ossos do meu corpo mais visíveis”. The cachaça infused with grilled corn & lemon pepper comes straight from their food joy in “como duas espigas de milho com manteiga, grill e lemon pepper. to nas nuvens”, turning comfort street food into liquid courage. Fresh mango juice with a pinch of salt reflects that craving chaos in “e a vontade de comer manga verde com sal não passa e minha boca fica salivando”, mixing sweetness with a sharp, mouthwatering edge. The sparkling tangerine soda mirrors the sudden happiness of little daily wins and chaotic laughter, like “eu inventando mentira no meu grupo de amigas e as trouxas caindo na fake news e eu aqui chorando igual uma idiota de tanto rir”, keeping the drink bubbly and unserious. A dash of bitters grounds it in the grief and stress of the clinic in “a pior notícia que me aparece é sempre a próxima... meu psicológico tá uma merda, só sinto vontade de ir embora e chorar, porém nem isso posso fazer”, acknowledging that their humor lives beside real pain. Finally, the sugar rim with chili flakes is for the sweet-savage, foul-mouthed affection of “namoral, vai tomar no cu fdp” and “eu mato essa piranha”, because every sip should burn a little, then make you laugh.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
Nessa’s defining traits are warmth, loyalty, and care for others, which align most strongly with Hufflepuff. She is deeply invested in friends and family, like when she talks about planning a surprise for her sister and shares that “fizemos a supresa p minha irmã e a diva até chorou, tadinha da minha bebê ❤️” and happily reports “bom dia ☀️ já acordei entregando o presente da minha irmã, espero a ela n desconfie q terá surpresa mais tarde qd ela chegar do trabalho”. Her joy in food and domestic comfort also shows a grounded, cozy, Hufflepuff energy, as in “acabei de bater um pratão de comida com um suquinho de laranja natural, mds eu tô de buchinho cheio e feliz, agora vou deitar e dps mimir” and “n vejo a hr de chegar em casa pq minha mãe tá fazendo peixe frito empanado e uma salada do jeito q gosto, já tô com água na boca, pqp”. She clearly values bonds and plays a supportive role with friends, teasing but also worrying, as when she says “a lola foi sair num encontro com uma mutual e sumiu do nada, aí liguei pra ela…”. Even in difficult circumstances with hemodialysis and seeing other patients pass away, she is emotionally open and vulnerable about her psychological state in “é foda tá na mesma situação, meu psicológico tá uma merda, só sinto vontade de ir embora e chorar, porém nem isso posso fazer”, which reflects perseverance rather than cynicism or ambition. Overall, her timeline shows someone whose core is affection, loyalty, and day-to-day resilience, making Hufflepuff the best fit.
Your movie
Your song
thank u, next - Ariana Grande
Ariana Grande’s thank u, next fits them because it balances chaos, humor, and resilience in the same way their timeline does. They constantly turn bad moments into jokes or catharsis, like when they say “hoje irei dormir cedo pq toda segunda a hemodiálise acaba comigo, isso me suga tanto q consigo ver os ossos do meu corpo mais visíveis” but still celebrate small joys such as “acabei de bater um pratão de comida com um suquinho de laranja natural, mds eu tô de buchinho cheio e feliz, agora vou deitar e dps mimir”. Their timeline is full of dramatic but playful reactions — “AAAA MANO, VTNC fui colocar um pouco de farinha no prato e coloquei a porr do whey… QUE RAIVA” — which echoes the song’s dramatic yet self-aware energy. At the same time, they show deep emotional vulnerability when dealing with loss and illness, as in “a pior notícia que me aparece é sempre a próxima… meu psicológico tá uma merda, só sinto vontade de ir embora e chorar”, mirroring the song’s undertone of healing through pain. They also cherish friendships and queer fandom joy — from teasing friends in tweets like “eu inventando mentira no meu grupo de amigas e as trouxas caindo na fake news e eu aqui chorando igual uma idiota de tanto rir” to celebrating GL series in “MEU DEUS EU AINDA NÃO ACREDITO QUE TEREMOS UM ESPECIAL DE DENIED LOVE, NÓS SAFICAS VENCEMOS MUITOOOOO” — reflecting the song’s focus on growth, self-love, and moving forward. Overall, thank u, next captures their mix of foul-mouthed humor, emotional honesty, and determination to keep going despite everything.
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