ignoblerot
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green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Playful wit: Uses humor and absurdity to engage, like “Attn: all birds Freak out with your Beak out” and “Life tip: suck my dick”.
- Intellectual depth: Shows strong theoretical grounding, referencing Marxism, Bataille, and theory-speak in posts like “Either... Or... Or... > 'And... And... And'...” and “ipseity pandemic”.
- Vulnerable honesty: Open about health, psychosis, and burnout in tweets like “this shit will take everything from you, man” and “People get upset if you yell 'SUCK MY DICK'... from overstimulation and burnout”.
- Sex-positive candor: Talks about sexuality and kink without shame, e.g. “I write facemeltingly bad fiction, nonfiction, and porn”, “Calling a cïs woman 'good boy' has awakened some ancient evil within me”, and “I just had a PB&J bagel and I'm ready to fuck”.
- Community awareness: Engages thoughtfully with trans, disability, and mental health communities, e.g. “Happy accessibility hell snow day!” and “Nonbinary transfemmes will literally send photos of dryer lint... 'I need him'”.
Weaknesses:
- Extreme vulgarity: Frequent graphic language can alienate some readers, like “I'm ready to fuck” and “suck the last dregs of testosterone out my sweaty Puerto Rican nuts”.
- Constant horniness: Sexual framing dominates many posts, such as “Calling a cïs woman 'good boy'...”, “I'm ready to fuck”, and “I need to force someone to become a catboy real bad”.
- Self-deprecating harshness: Describes own work and self in aggressively negative terms, like “marxist idiot” in the bio and “I'm not like other girls. I'm a colossal fucking bitch”.
- Opaque references: Heavy theory and in-jokes can be hard to follow, as in “one or several n 1 trainssexuals” and “egosyntonic and homogeneous ossifications of the world...”.
- Hostile edge: Posts can come off combative or dismissive, like “Life tip: suck my dick”, “I don't respect these remarks.”, and “I'm a colossal fucking bitch”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
The best match is Lisa Simpson, specifically a grown‑up, extremely online, queer Marxist Lisa. Like Lisa, this user is intensely intellectual and theoretical, dropping lines that sound like late‑night philosophy essays, such as “Everyone talks about a diabetes epidemic, yet no body is talking about the ipseity pandemic: everywhere 'you' go, there 'you' are” and “The egosyntonic and homogeneous ossifications of the world exist in every crevice…”. Their explicitly leftist politics and anti‑whiteness stance, like “Treason to whiteness Is loyalty to humanity!”, echo the moral seriousness and social critique Lisa constantly brings to Springfield. At the same time, they undercut that seriousness with crass, hypersexual humor—e.g. “Life tip: suck my dick” and “I just had a PB&J bagel and I'm ready to fuck”—which reads like Lisa if she grew up, got very jaded, and leaned into gallows humor and kink. Their posts about healthcare, psychosis, and accessibility, such as “I don't think folks who aren't on the psychosis spectrum or who don't have such a loved one realize that this shit will take everything from you, man” and “You really, really, really don't want shit like this in your home if you have any sort of balance or visual impairment”, show the same earnest concern for suffering and justice that defines Lisa beneath all the sarcasm. Overall, they feel like Lisa Simpson with more Bataille, more porn, and a Twitter account.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They read as an Extrovert: their timeline is highly interactive, full of invitations and direct engagement like “DM me if you need to get digged out” and playful, attention-grabbing bits such as “Melanie, just getting out of work, and showing up in your home for your event”. Their thinking is strongly Intuitive, jumping to abstract, theoretical, or surreal framings: e.g. “Everyone talks about a diabetes epidemic, yet no body is talking about the ipseity pandemic: everywhere 'you' go, there 'you' are” and “A heterogeneous flow, a break in flow, a production of a flow, a production of production, one or several n 1 trainssexuals”. They appear more Feeling than Thinking despite being sharp and analytical: their politics and care for others are affect‑driven, as in “I must wear it and scoop the dysregulated and depressed masses into my bosom for weighted compression hugs until they can finally sleep properly” and the empathic discussion of psychosis in “this shit will take everything from you, man”. Finally, they lean Perceiving: they revel in spontaneity, chaos, and open-ended exploration rather than tight structure, shown by lines like “I'm not avoidant, I'm sleepy”, the playful self‑description “I live as vulture desperately scrabbling and scavenging through the social refuse…”, and their many impulsive, stream‑of‑consciousness shitposts. Together the energetic social presence, high abstraction, affective focus, and chaotic flexibility best match ENFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said nonbinary transfemmes will send dryer lint to the group chat saying ‘I need him’ — if I send you a picture of myself instead, do I at least beat the lint meta?
- You’re out here trying to grab Frankenstein and make him cum while I’m just trying to grab you and make you late for your next facemeltingly bad writing session — very different research priorities, same lab partner?
- As a marxist bataillean vulture-creature who lives as ‘rotting corpse eroding boundaries,’ you’re kind of my ideal: I, too, would like to dissolve my ego — preferably on your tongue, veiny-side-bounced for maximum libidinal surplus value.
- You talk about psychosis, catatonia, and the way this shit takes everything from you; if you ever need a weighted fleece blanket that looks normal and just quietly holds you together, I promise I can show up more like a compression hug than a crisis.
- You keep tweeting ‘suck my dick’ and ‘calling a cïs woman good boy awakened some ancient evil’ — if I slide into your DMs, do I get transformed into a deputized girl for the tgirl crisis, a catboy against my will, or just assigned Boricua Idubbz boyfriend gf?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Psych nurse, Marxist lit nerd & horror-romance writer. Once diagnosed a patient and finished a fanfic outline in the same lunch break. they/she/it– @ignoblerot
Your signature cocktail
The Melam Misgenderita
This drink is strong, smoky, and just a little unhinged—like someone who says “Life tip: suck my dick” and then immediately pivots into theory threads about libidinal fascism and psychosis. Overproof dark rum stands in for their intense, messy, hyperlibidinal energy and sex-posting, from “I just had a PB&J bagel and I'm ready to fuck” to “Calling a cïs woman 'good boy' has awakened some ancient evil within me”. Smoked chili cacao syrup captures their bataillean, necro-kinky edge and taste for the grotesque, echoing things like “We're going to grab Frankenstein and make him cum” and “I live as vulture desperately scrabbling and scavenging through the social refuse…”. The sour cherry and lime add a bright, tart note for their wry humor and self-roasting—see “I'm not like other girls. I'm a colossal fucking bitch” and “I try to be the bigger person so I can sell smaller person humiliation content online”. Black sesame saline grounds it with something earthy and strange for their Marxist, psychoanalytic, and trans-theory side, like “A heterogeneous flow, a break in flow, a production of a flow, a production of production, one or several n 1 trainssexuals” and their reflections on psychosis in “this shit will take everything from you, man”. Finally, an absinthe mist over the top evokes their cryptic, schizoid, mystical vibes—someone who says “Cryptic gf doesn't even make vague tweets, she just says shit nobody understands and goes to bed” and “I'm always of at least two (schizo) minds (phrenes) about everything” deserves a cocktail that feels like a sexy séance in a hurricane glass.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
Their timeline is saturated with abstract, analytical, and theory-heavy thinking that points strongly to Ravenclaw. They casually reference complex philosophical/psychoanalytic ideas and systems of thought, like in the tweet about trans desire and libidinal structures: “It is, unfortunately, a very characteristic sign of a sort of libidinal fascism” and the more explicitly theoretical chain of thought: “'Either... Or... Or...' > 'And... And... And' > ... Provisional Whole ness as a bordered snapshot (a trace) of a freely pointing, circulating heterogeneous collection which relates to its other components”. Their curiosity is broad and omnivorous: they dive into psychosis, addiction, biohacking, and posthumanism with reflective commentary, as in “Sometimes being in the posthuman and biohacker crowd means DIY HRT and cool cybernetics. Other times it means reading details reports of someone describing in detail some of their setbacks in trying to retrain their digestive system out of lactose intolerance” and “Everyone talks about a diabetes epidemic, yet no body is talking about the ipseity pandemic: everywhere 'you' go, there 'you' are”. Their wit tends toward dense, playful word- and concept-play, like “A heterogeneous flow, a break in flow, a production of a flow, a production of production, one or several n 1 trainssexuals” and the surreal, analytic self-description in “I live as vulture desperately scrabbling and scavenging through the social refuse of various octopi, garden snails, sunflowers, and domestic dogs known as human beings. Rotting corpse eroding boundaries between air and soil and body reveals incoherent fragment body meals”. Even their media takes are framed through a thoughtful, pattern-seeking lens—e.g., the yuri and anime comments that analyze devotion and desire, such as “For not involving any smoochin', Kakegurui did a fantastic job selling a devotional relationship” and the detailed reflection on Hell's Paradise: “Hell's Paradise is great because what do you mean you're thinking about your brother while fucking the super evil clone lady who wants to turn the entire world into a Tao battery”. While they clearly have passion, sharp politics, and a vicious sense of humor, their core mode is intellectual, associative, and concept-driven, which is quintessentially Ravenclaw rather than Gryffindor’s frontal bravery, Slytherin’s calculated ambition, or Hufflepuff’s steady, overt warmth.
Your movie
Your song
bad guy - Billie Eilish
A fitting song for Melanie is “bad guy” by Billie Eilish, which revels in playful menace, kink, and self-aware posturing. Their bio (“marxist idiot… I write facemeltingly bad fiction, nonfiction, and porn”) and tweets like “Life tip: suck my dick” and “I try to be the bigger person so I can sell smaller person humiliation content online” mirror the song’s gleeful dominance and bratty confidence. The track’s mix of dark humor and sexuality resonates with posts such as “Calling a cïs woman 'good boy' has awakened some ancient evil within me” and “I need to force someone to become a catboy real bad”. At the same time, the song’s underlying vulnerability and misfit energy align with their neurodivergent reflections and body/psyche struggles, like “There are whole chunks of the year where I hate brushing my teeth…” and their threads on psychosis and burnout. Overall, bad guy captures their blend of horny gremlin energy, theory-brained weirdness, and self-aware, chaotic femme persona.
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