
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The Simpsons character who best matches @iloveucoca is Otto Mann, the school bus driver, because he’s the show’s archetypal chaotic, drug‑loving, burnout with a weirdly sweet core. This user’s whole persona is centered around substances and benders, like when they say “first thing i do when i wake up is do some lines 😭 think of it like my morning coffee basically” and “i 💕 speedballing. it takes all the anxiety away from the uppers”, which fits Otto’s reckless but enthusiastic approach to getting high. There’s also a self‑aware, darkly funny edge: they joke “someone genuinely just take me out atp.” and “i think i’m gonna die in this HOUSE.”, similar to how Otto’s life is a mess but he leans into humor rather than introspection. At the same time, they show a bit of conscience and protective instinct, like “if ur a minor, unfollow me NOW… i dont support drug usage for minors.”, mirroring Otto’s occasional soft‑hearted moments with the kids. Their fixation on drug culture, chaotic sleep schedule, and openness about addiction and relapse—seen in tweets like “just realized that doing that molly a few weeks ago sent me into a relapse cause now i’m doing coke, pressed bars, real bars, and fetty in my room alone.”—align strongly with Otto’s stoner‑metalhead energy and life on the edge.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Introvert (I): despite being on #drugtwt and wanting “interactive moots,” most content centers on their inner world and solitary use rather than parties, like waking up and doing lines alone: “first thing i do when i wake up is do some lines… just to start the day off”, or lying in bed ignoring issues: “i love laying in bed off of xanax and coke. ugh i’m so comfy ignoring all of my issues”. They read as Intuitive (N) because they quickly move from concrete drug details into associations, symbolism, and media parallels, such as mapping My Little Pony characters to substances: “who out of mane 6 do you think would like ❄️? … pinkie pie: speedball…” and comparing their relationship to “jesse and jane irl”: “me and him are jesse and jane irl lowkirkenuinly”. Their emotional tone and values point to Feeling (F): they focus on how things feel, not on logical analysis, e.g. “how am i still depressed and about to cry after doing a line.” and the generational‑trauma reflection “i just need some hope i’ll make it out. i can’t repeat this generational trauma and i wont.”. Finally, their lifestyle is highly Perceiving (P)—impulsive, flexible, and unstructured: they bounce between substances and plans (“might try that pressed blue idk tbh.. erm i don’t wanna die.” link) and joke about ADHD making dosage control hard with a nasal spray: “with my adhd dumbass i feel like i’d just continuously put it up my nose without second thought”. Putting this together—introspective, emotionally intense, imaginative, and very spontaneous—INFP fits best.

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Your new Twitter bio
20 | she/her | documenting the chaotic science of stimulants, ket, and insomnia. Once did “morning lines” like coffee—now I just tweet about it.– @iloveucoca

Your signature cocktail
The silver tequila with a chili-salt rim mirrors their sharp, high-energy binges and chaotic confidence, like starting the day with lines as “morning coffee” in “first thing i do when i wake up is do some lines 😭 think of it like my morning coffee basically.”. A shaken espresso shot with vanilla syrup captures their stimulant-fueled focus and late-night manic intensity, echoing “just drank a bunch of coffee so now i can’t do a line cause if i do, ill go into psychosis or some shit. bipolar problems 💀”. The grapefruit soda with lime adds a bright, slightly bitter fizz that reflects both their humor and their exhaustion with uppers, as in “i’m so over coke and i thought id never say this in my life… id rather be down than up 😭”. A dash of lavender bitters represents the underlying anxiety, insomnia, and desire for calm beneath the chaos, hinted at in “someone genuinely just take me out atp. hopefully they can prescribe me something for insomnia at the hospital”. Finally, the cotton-candy sugar garnish is a sweet, dreamy nod to their romantic, escapist side—like calling themselves and their partner “jesse and jane irl” in “i miss my situationship bf long distance bf whatever… me and him are jesse and jane irl lowkirkenuinly” and their nostalgic, aesthetic #shedtwt vibe in “do yall remember back in like 2018 #edtwt where everyone had cassie and effy stonem pfps and profile aesthetics 😭”.

Your Hogwarts House
They repeatedly show strong self-preservation and resourcefulness focused on managing drug use and withdrawal rather than stopping entirely. For example, they carefully calculate and optimize a custom nose spray mix: “update: i made the nose spray and did the math. there’s supposed to be 7mg coca, 3mg ket per spray… it works fantastically”, and they explicitly tailor ketamine usage as a DIY therapy: “don’t let anyone tell u that you can’t do ur own ketamine therapy treatment at home cause baby i’ve been doing nothing but microdosing every 15 mins a few hrs a day and let me tell u, it makes a difference.”. There’s also a willingness to bend ethics for their goals, like: “if u invite me over to ur grandma or mom house, trust i will be going through those medicine cabinets.” and the very calculated risk-taking in fent use: “debating on if i should do this pressed blue or not. i have no tolly to fent and im by myself. i have like 6 things of narcan tho so idk…”. Their ambition and fixation show up in lines like “how have i spent over 1k on drugs in the past few weeks?” and “both of my 🔌’s are ignoring me and i have money. it’s literally burning a hole in my pocket and im tweakin because i need to spend it on shit to get high. idec what it is anymore.”, revealing a relentless drive to pursue what they want regardless of obstacles. At the same time, they show selective principles—like refusing to enable minors: “if ur a minor, unfollow me NOW… i dont support drug usage for minors.”—which fits Slytherin’s tendency to have a personal code rather than broad idealism. Overall, the combination of calculated risk, cunning, strong self-preservation in dangerous situations, and relentless pursuit of their goals aligns most closely with Slytherin over the other houses.

Your movie

Your song
The song Habits (Stay High) fits @iloveucoca because it centers on using substances to run from pain and everyday emptiness, which mirrors how they describe drugs as a constant coping mechanism. They openly frame stimulants as part of their routine, saying “first thing i do when i wake up is do some lines 😭 think of it like my morning coffee basically. just to start the day off”, echoing the song’s theme of needing to stay high to get through the day. Their timeline is filled with cycles of benders and brief attempts to cut back, like “lastnight literally makes me wanna never go on a bender ever again. i was 2 weeks strong lmao but i’m never speedballing in my life again probably”, which reflects the push-pull of self-destruction and regret in the lyrics. They also use drugs to numb emotional distress, as seen when they say “just cried for about an hour but i popped half a bar and did a line and now i feel dizzy as fuck”, closely matching the song’s portrayal of partying and using to avoid feeling anything. Even their mix of dark humor and exhaustion, like “how have i spent over 1k on drugs in the past few weeks? i dont even remember having that kind of money 😭”, fits the bittersweet, self-aware tone of Tove Lo’s narrative.

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