
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Albin mirrors Lisa Simpson's core archetype: an intellectually inclined, misunderstood outsider who feels “fundamentally broken” and alienated from their family. Much like Lisa’s existential despair in episodes like Moaning Lisa, Albin expresses a deep, nihilistic loneliness, stating, “Will always be the weird guy nobody wants to talk to.” Both share a cynical view of social structures and authority, with Albin frequently venting about their mother’s hostility and a sense of being “forced” into activities like choir. Despite their struggles, Albin possesses a distinct sense of self and niche interests, though they admit they “would literally go out w anyone if they seemed interestef” due to a desperate need for the validation and connection that Lisa often seeks.

Your MBTI personality Type
Albin identifies as an INTP and demonstrates Introversion through consistent expressions of social awkwardness and isolation, stating, “I'm very much socially awkward and an introvert, but it gets so lonely sometimes”. Their Intuition is seen in their preoccupation with existential dread and future concepts over the present, such as their niche career goal: “My only plan for the future is to become an embalmer”. The Thinking trait is reflected in their detached, analytical approach to their own trauma and bodily harm, often using blunt language like “Turns out I still have empathy issues”. Finally, their Perceiving nature is evident in their self-described chronic procrastination and lack of structure, noting they are “Procrastinating cutting.... should I....”.

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Your new Twitter bio
17yo INTP & aspiring mortician fascinated by embalming. When I'm not overthinking gacha pulls in HSR or rewatching Kakegurui, I'm dodging my choir rehearsals.– @ink_blxt

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail captures Albin’s dual nature of being an INTP who is both “socially awkward and an introvert” and deeply longing for connection. The charcoal-stained base represents their dark aesthetic and their professional dream, as they’ve stated their “only plan for the future is to become an embalmer”. The addition of Polish vodka honors the “Whole shedtwt purning polish” moment, while the raspberries reflect the physical reality of their struggle with self-harm, specifically when they “hit baby beans” for the first time. Finally, the caffeine kick mirrors their chaotic schedule of “Running on 0 hours of sleep” while trying to maintain a 'decent' appearance.

Your Hogwarts House
Albin demonstrates the classic Slytherin trait of calculated ambition and a specific vision for their future, stating that their “only plan for the future is to become an embalmer” and expressing frustration that they “need to start making money” to achieve this expensive goal. There is a strong sense of self-preservation and selective social interaction, seen when they admit, “The second I feel someone pulling away, I just become the most boring, avoidant bitch on the planet”. Their resourcefulness and focus on external appearances—even in distress—is highlighted by their desire to “at least look decent” despite exhaustion. Ultimately, Albin’s blunt honesty about their own ego and their “no dni & I block freely” policy reflects a Slytherin’s tendency toward exclusivity and self-prioritization.

Your movie

Your song
Albin’s digital presence embodies the 'Teen Idle' archetype, defined by a crushing sense of missed youth and the glamorization of self-destruction. This is evident in their conflicting desire for visibility and privacy, stating, “one weird thing about me is that I do it for the scars, but I hate when people point it out”. The song’s themes of loneliness and feeling 'fundamentally broken' mirror Albin’s confession that “nobody will ever truly like me... because im fundamentally broken”. Furthermore, their preoccupation with death and a macabre future, such as their plan to “become an embalmer” or face suicide, aligns with the track’s dark, existential yearning. Ultimately, Albin's cycle of “procrastinating cutting” and navigating a volatile relationship with their mother reflects the song's core struggle with identity and pain.

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