Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Socially-aware: Calls out access issues like bins blocking pavements for wheelchair users in “Every Tuesday there’s bins left just as they are after being emptied, but this takes the cake. Heaven forbid a wheelchair user or similar needs to, you know, use the pavement @StockportMBC”.
- Politically-engaged: Openly challenges government and Labour policies in tweets like “we need to nuke the triple lock and we need to do it fucking yesterday” and “where was this in your manifesto? @NavPMishra @UKLabour”.
- Humorously-cynical: Uses dark, self-deprecating humour in posts like “if I see this tweet one more time... I’m going to acquire a gun and actually shoot myself” and football banter such as “a banning order for lamping Anthony Taylor is looking like pretty good value tbh”.
- Community-oriented: Engages with local life and services, from criticising Bee Network buses in “bee network try to not be a cataclysmic shower of shite challenge” to defending NHS workers in “i’m a working person… where’s my fucking support?”.
- Passionate-fan: Shows deep, consistent passion for Manchester City and sport in tweets like “manchester city football club.” and emotional match reactions such as “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL HOLD DAT CITEH CITEH CITEH”.
Weaknesses:
- Excessive-hostility: Frequently uses violent or extreme phrasing, e.g. “I’m going to acquire a gun and actually shoot myself” and “If Wes fucking Streeting ends up being PM I might commit seppuku outside debdale maccies”.
- Harsh-language: Relies heavily on swearing and insults, calling services a “cataclysmic shower of shite” in this tweet and telling Labour to “disrespectfully, fuck off”.
- Negativity-prone: Tends to frame many topics pessimistically, from “fucking disgraceful” reactions here to “historically bad hatewatch fucking kill me” about a show in this tweet.
- Impulsive-posting: Mentions uninstalling X but returning to vent — “i honest to god uninstalled this app but jesus fucking christ city are bad and i need to rant about it somewhere” — suggesting difficulty stepping back when emotional.
- Provocative-jokes: Makes jokes about suicide and self-harm, such as “Johnathan Liew just hanged himself. #WOLMCI”, which can be harmful or alienating to some readers.
Your Simpsons character
Homer Simpson
The blend of self-deprecating humour, impulsive exaggeration, and surprising emotional depth fits Homer Simpson best. This user swings between over-the-top reactions and darkly comic melodrama, like threatening to “acquire a gun and actually shoot myself” if a tweet appears again “if I see this tweet one more time, this week of all fucking weeks, I’m going to acquire a gun and actually shoot myself” or saying they “might commit seppuku outside debdale maccies” if Wes Streeting becomes PM “If Wes fucking Streeting ends up being PM I might commit seppuku outside debdale maccies”, which mirrors Homer’s habit of turning minor annoyances into apocalyptic drama. Like Homer, they’re crude but ultimately affectionate about their passions: obsessing over Manchester City “manchester city football club.” and footballers, and reacting viscerally to matches with lines like “a banning order for lamping Anthony Taylor is looking like pretty good value tbh”. There’s also a working-class, fed-up vibe—complaining about government and Labour surveillance “what is it with the fucking labour party that they’re obsessed with personal surveillance” and NHS pay “where’s my fucking support?”—that echoes Homer’s grumbling about The System while still muddling through. Finally, their bio (“city’s resident fat bastard”) and unabashed horniness on a bus “I’m unreasonably horny on a bee network bus help me” sit perfectly in Homer’s lane of shameless bodily humour and impulsive id-driven behaviour.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENTP
They lean Extraverted: they clearly enjoy public interaction, being on TV (“hope everyone enjoyed seeing my mug on the telly”), posting live reactions to matches and events (“GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL HOLD DAT CITEH CITEH CITEH”), and joking about being seen/‘outed’ (“why have I been outed like this 😭”). They look Intuitive rather than purely Sensing, often abstracting from specifics to broader principles or systems: criticising transport renationalisation structures (“it’s not re nationalisation if the ROSCOs are still involved”), political policy like the triple lock (“we need to nuke the triple lock and we need to do it fucking yesterday”), or Labour’s surveillance tendencies (“what is it with the fucking labour party that they’re obsessed with personal surveillance”). Their tone is strongly Thinking: arguments are blunt, critical, and logic-driven even when emotional — evaluating players and tactics in detail (“the only way Akanji is a starter is in the 3 at the back formation we used in 22/23…”) or dissecting Ederson’s value in terms of replaceability and skill mix (“ederson’s mixture of mostly average/sometimes incredible shot stopping and best in the world for his position ability on the ball just isn’t replaceable imo”). They appear more Perceiving than Judging: they rant in the moment (“i honest to god uninstalled this app but jesus fucking christ city are bad and i need to rant about it somewhere”), embrace spontaneity in nights out and fandom (“what a fucking night. Genuinely woke up this morning 2.5kg lighter than I did yesterday 🤣”), and generally react flexibly to unfolding events rather than presenting a structured, plan-focused persona. The combination of outspoken social engagement, abstract/political and tactical analysis, sharp logical critique, and a spontaneous, reactive style aligns best with ENTP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You screaming ‘MANCHESTER CITY FOOTBALL CLUB’ and threatening to seppuku outside Debdale Maccies tells me two things: you’ve got elite ball knowledge and chaotic energy. Fancy channeling both into a pint and a rant about Savinho jogging?
- You still playing modded PES6 and mourning the loss of goal music at the EFL Cup final tells me you appreciate proper vibes and good aesthetics – can I be the nostalgic classic you keep coming back to?
- You got libelled by a member of the British cabinet, shouted about renationalisation and cussed the triple lock – as a fellow socialist, I think the only fair redistribution is you reallocating some of your time directly to me.
- Given how much you hate midday kickoffs, Bee Network chaos and bins blocking pavements, I promise if we go out I’ll at least: 1) be on time, 2) not be shite, and 3) leave enough room on the pavement to hold your hand.
- If you can lose 2.5kg in one night at Boneheads and still have energy to bark at Liv Morgan on TV and belt ‘I BELIEVE IN JOE CUNTING FUCKING HENDRY’, I fully believe in us going for one drink that turns into ‘what a fucking night’ part two.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
IT engineer in Manchester, socialist with a season ticket and a loud opinion. Once got libelled by a cabinet minister and took it as a compliment.– @itsconjohn
Your signature cocktail
The Citeh Seppuku Spritz
This drink starts with Manchester gin for the permanently online blue whose life rhythm is fixtures and kickoffs, from “manchester city football club.” to “first time in 12+ months it actually felt like watching city today.”. A hit of bitter aperitivo reflects their constant, sweary political and civic exasperation, like “we need to nuke the triple lock and we need to do it fucking yesterday” and “i hate this stupid country where was this in your manifesto?”. Cloudy lemonade adds a sharp sweetness for the chaotic joy of limbs and memes in “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL HOLD DAT CITEH CITEH CITEH” and “RAYAN CHERKI JUST WINKED AT ME OMG I DIE NOW”. Salted grapefruit cordial brings sour, salty self‑deprecation worthy of “city’s resident fat bastard.” and the existential threats like “I’m going to acquire a gun and actually shoot myself” or “might commit seppuku outside debdale maccies”. Finally, a splash of lager on top nods to matchday, Bee Network chaos and pub-bound energy in “donda esta la pub” and “I’m unreasonably horny on a bee network bus help me”, keeping the whole thing a bit daft, very Northern, and dangerously drinkable.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
The strongest through-line in @itsconjohn’s tweets is a very Gryffindor mix of political courage, blunt moral outrage, and impulsive, dramatic framing. They publicly call out local government over accessibility issues for wheelchair users in a very “see injustice, shout about it” way, e.g. complaining that bins block pavements and tagging the council: “Heaven forbid a wheelchair user or similar needs to, you know, use the pavement @StockportMBC”. Their left-wing politics are expressed in fiery, confrontational language, such as calling future policy ‘fucking disgraceful’ or attacking Labour’s surveillance instincts: “disrespectfully, fuck off. what is it with the fucking labour party that they’re obsessed with personal surveillance” and “we need to nuke the triple lock and we need to do it fucking yesterday”. They repeatedly use over-the-top, self-sacrificial humour about politics and football—like threatening seppuku if a disliked politician becomes PM or joking about acquiring a gun to avoid seeing a tweet again—which signals impulsive, dramatic bravado rather than cold calculation: “If Wes fucking Streeting ends up being PM I might commit seppuku outside debdale maccies” and “if I see this tweet one more time, this week of all fucking weeks, I’m going to acquire a gun and actually shoot myself”. There’s also clear tribal loyalty and willingness to go to war for their club in a very ‘charge first, think later’ way, e.g. joking about getting a banning order for lamping a referee: “a banning order for lamping Anthony Taylor is looking like pretty good value tbh”. While they show some wit and policy awareness, the dominant vibe is loud, confrontational courage and passionate outspokenness—classic Gryffindor energy rather than the cooler calculation of Slytherin or the quiet steadiness of Hufflepuff.
Your movie
Your song
Roll With It - Oasis
A song that best suits them is Roll With It by Oasis. They’re a sweary, outspoken Mancunian socialist who still keeps a sense of humour and resilience, which fits the song’s defiant, keep-going energy, from railing at politics like “we need to nuke the triple lock and we need to do it fucking yesterday” to despairing at Labour with “i hate this stupid country where was this in your manifesto? @NavPMishra @UKLabour”. Their life is clearly wrapped up in Manchester City and matchday emotional chaos, whether it’s pure joy like “manchester city football club.” or rage like “a banning order for lamping Anthony Taylor is looking like pretty good value tbh”, which mirrors the up-and-down swagger of the track. They’re also proudly local and culturally Manc – from “in my dreams last night @liamgallagher did the poznan with noel at heaton park” to everyday gripes like “bee network try to not be a cataclysmic shower of shite challenge difficulty: impossible” – and Oasis is baked into that identity. Roll With It captures their mix of stubbornness, sarcasm, and city pride: they get knocked about by politics, football and work, but they clearly just roll with it and carry on shouting.
Your time travel destination
Your video game
Your spirit animal
Your (un)funny joke
Your superpower
Your fictional best friend
Your dream vacation
Your alternate career path
Your celebrity match
Did you enjoy your Horoscope?
Your horoscope is 8 days old! Generate a better one from your latest tweets, unlock more insights and use a smarter pro AI!
