Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Creative spirit: Jade enjoys making things, maintaining a personal Neocities website and designing their own fursona.
- Tech savvy: They demonstrate knowledge of coding languages, OS bloatware, and visual shaders like Shaderglass.
- Observant eye: They notice hyper-specific details, such as identifying a Fallout weapon model in an Adam Sandler image.
- Self-protective: Jade prioritizes digital privacy, refusing to put their face on the internet regardless of corporate safety claims.
- Niche expertise: They possess deep knowledge of specific subcultures, particularly Homestuck classpects and Fallout lore.
Weaknesses:
- Academic procrastination: Jade admitted to attempting two weeks of work in a single night using coffee for the first time.
- Aggressive communication: They often resort to hostile language when disagreeing with others, such as “fuck you” or “fuckface”.
- Poor health habits: They recently pulled their first all-nighter and struggle with basic tasks like making coffee.
- Quick to judge: Jade dismisses entire categories of content broadly, stating that none of these damn indie shows are good.
- Distractibility: They frequently get sidetracked by modding or meta-commentary instead of actually playing the games they start.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Jade shares Lisa's intellectual curiosity and strong political convictions, often commenting on societal issues like “Magats claim to be the most patriotic people of them all, yet fail to consider the self evident truth that all man are created equal”. Much like Lisa's cynical yet principled worldview, they express disdain for corporate overreach and artificiality, such as when they critique “ai bros” or note that “Wikipedia isn’t an monopoly”. They possess a distinct creative side, maintaining their own “website” and exploring complex interests like “BrainFuck Assembly”. Ultimately, Jade's mix of hyper-specific nerdiness and ethical awareness makes them a modern, digital-native version of The Simpsons' resident young intellectual.
Your MBTI personality Type
INTP
Jade demonstrates clear Introversion (I) through a strong preference for solitary gaming and a vocal refusal to show their face online, stating “I don’t care how bad Elon gets I will never put my face on the internet”. Their Intuition (N) is evident in their constant engagement with abstract concepts and fictional systems, such as speculating on “What classpects would the founding fathers be” or analyzing the logic of Homestuck. They lean heavily toward Thinking (T) with a blunt, often cynical communication style, dismissively critiquing political arguments with “how about you make your own dumb political takes poutine muncher”. Finally, they exhibit Perceiving (P) traits through spontaneous and procrastinatory habits, such as attempting “to do 2 weeks worth of work in 1 night” and describing their gameplay as a “biyearly 1 hour long zomboid playthrough that goes no where.”
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you the Freedom Trail? Because I’ve been looking for a sign and I’d follow your red line anywhere just to secure a future with you.
- Is your name Benny? Because the game was rigged from the start—I was already falling for you before I even stepped into the Lucky 38.
- I may not be a massive hypno furry streamer, but I’d definitely like all your tweets and give you my undivided attention.
- You don't need a rotary phone to know we have a connection that’s pretty self-explanatory, but I'd still stay up for a full nighter just to talk to you.
- I promise I’m not 'unrealslop'—I’m the high-quality, non-procrastinating partner you’ve been looking for to help you gather those 12 stacks of glass.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Passionate about game design and retro tech. I once pulled an all-nighter to finish two weeks of work in one go. Aspiring developer and digital artist. 17.– @JadeTheCoolFox
Your signature cocktail
The Strife Specibus Mocktail
Since Jade is 17 and into gaming, this is a caffeine-fueled 'experimental' mocktail served in a glass that looks like "shitty nes footage". The base is a chaotic coffee blend inspired by her "first full nighter ever" where she admitted to "drinking coffee for the first time" with questionable salt additions. The vibrant blue tint pays homage to her "drinking fruitiger aero" for shits and giggles. Finally, the sharp garnish honors her obsession with Fallout and Homestuck weaponry, specifically asking "is there a difference between scythe and katana" while pondering if a "shotgun revolver" would be pistolkind or shotgunkind.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
Jade exhibits a distinct Ravenclaw-leaning analytical curiosity and a focus on niche systems and logic. They show a deep interest in coding and linguistics, as seen in their assessment of “BrainFuck Assembly HTML (debatable as a language…) Lua” and their creative experimentation “fucking with shaderglass and found out how to make it look like shitty nes footage”. Their wit often manifests through detailed classification and critique, such as analyzing the [Homestuck] lore of historical figures by asking, “What classpects would the founding fathers be”. Even when gaming, they prioritize technical details, noting they “immediately recognized that Adam Sandler had specifically the fallout new vegas 1911”. This combination of creative 'making,' critical observation of media, and a desire to understand the underlying mechanics of their interests fits the Ravenclaw profile perfectly.
Your movie
Your song
Welcome to the Internet - Bo Burnham
This song perfectly captures Jade’s chaotic, chronically online life, where she jumps between niche topics like “homestuck” and “BrainFuck Assembly” at breakneck speed. The lyrics' cynical view of digital saturation mirrors her frustration with modern tech trends, such as her distain for “unreal slop” and the way “ai bros talk and talk” about meaningless projects. Jade’s self-described habit of “doing anything but not playing the damn game” aligns with the song's theme of endless distraction and procrastination. Ultimately, her diverse interests in coding, gaming, and politics create a digital footprint that is “mile long”, embodying the overwhelming variety of the internet itself.
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