
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
This account lines up best with Homer Simpson: loud, emotional, sports-obsessed, and constantly venting about work and life annoyances. Like Homer yelling at the TV, he fires off blunt rants at teams and media, e.g. “Jordan Love is absolute ass” and “Fuck you @espn”, or “Fuck Atlanta and fuck the state of Georgia. Y’all suck.”. He clearly hates his job and dreads returning to work, mirroring Homer’s perpetual workplace misery, as seen in “Nothing makes me more miserable than going back to work after a short vacation.” and “Nothing makes you realize how much you hate your job more like coming back from vacation.”. At the same time, he has huge, almost childlike enthusiasm for his fandoms—Oasis, football, games, movies—like when he gushes “I can’t believe that over 25 years of being a MASSIVE MASSIVE Oasis fan, I can finally say I’m seeing them live!!” and “Superman was freaking awesome. #superman”. The mix of profanity-laced frustration (“Fuck anybody who comes into a car dealership today. You’re the worst.”) with bursts of joy and sentimental fandom fits Homer’s volatile but ultimately passionate and big-hearted personality.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Extraverted: their timeline is highly reactive and outward-focused, full of live responses to sports, movies, and concerts, like the hyped, public excitement in “I can’t believe that over 25 years of being a MASSIVE MASSIVE Oasis fan, II can finally say I’m seeing them live!!” and “Why am I such an immotoinal wreck at th @blink182 show?”, showing a desire to share experiences openly. Their focus is clearly Sensing: they emphasize concrete events, stats, and physical experiences such as “Our offense going 13 for 19 on 3rd down is astounding.” and specific merch finds like “Found an original ‘94 Supersonic single today at the shops! Shit yeah! #Oasis”, rather than abstract theorizing. They’re strongly Thinking-oriented in style: blunt, critical, and often harshly evaluative, e.g. “Jordan Love is absolute ass”, “LeBron sucks. Probably my least favorite athlete of all time.”, and “OBJ is the most overrated player of all time lol.”, prioritizing direct judgments over tact. Their language and lifestyle cues point to Perceiving: they react in the moment, swear freely, and show a go-with-the-flow, impulse-driven vibe—ranting about work like “Nothing makes you realize how much you hate your job more like coming back from vacation.” and spontaneously deciding, “I feel a @masseffect play through coming soon.”. Taken together—outward hype and banter, concrete sensory focus, blunt logical criticism, and spontaneous, reactive posting—this overall pattern best fits ESTP.

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Your new Twitter bio
Car sales by day, Oasis gigs and college football meltdowns by night. Once spent $500 on band merch and still complains about tag renewal fees.– @James__Nelson

Your signature cocktail
This drink comes in loud and unapologetic, like a high-proof bourbon shot fired every time he tweets “Fuck Tennessee” or “Fuck Atlanta and fuck the state of Georgia. Y’all suck.”. The IPA reduction syrup nods to his sports-and-fandom timeline, from “Packers are SCARY. #NFL” to “Our offense going 13 for 19 on 3rd down is astounding. #RollTide #Tyeisman”, giving the drink a hoppy, competitive edge. Blood orange juice brings a sharp sweetness for the emotional fan who spent over $500 on merch just to say “this is all I have to say” and who’s still wrecked enough to ask “Why am I such an immotoinal wreck at th @blink182 show?”. Smoked sea salt rims the glass for the burnt-out car dealership worker who says “Nothing makes me more miserable than going back to work after a short vacation.” and begs callers to “Don’t be a cunt.” Bitters finish it off, echoing his hatred of fandoms like “I’m so sick of college football twitter.” and “Actually I’m sick of any kind of twitter fandom”, but underneath all that bite, it’s still a celebration drink for the guy who can finally scream “You and I are gonna LIVE FOREVER” at his favorite band.

Your Hogwarts House
James shows a loud, confrontational temperament and a tendency to speak his mind bluntly, which aligns strongly with Gryffindor’s brash courage. He frequently uses aggressive language to call people or entities out, like when he says “Fuck anybody who comes into a car dealership today. You’re the worst.” and “LeBron sucks. Probably my least favorite athlete of all time.”, indicating a willingness to stand openly by his opinions regardless of backlash. He also expresses intense sports and fandom passion in a very ‘run-through-a-wall’ way, such as “This made me want to run through a wall.” and energized reactions like “Packers are SCARY.”, reflecting bold, emotional investment rather than quiet analysis. Even in everyday life he vents frustration with strong, impulsive flair, like “Nothing makes me more miserable than going back to work after a short vacation.” and “Fuck Atlanta and fuck the state of Georgia. Y’all suck.”. While there are flashes of empathy, as with “Just a reminder that it costs $0 to be nice when you’re calling a place of business. Don’t be a cunt.”, the dominant pattern is bold, emotionally driven outspokenness and a love of passionate conflict—classic Gryffindor energy rather than the subtler ambition of Slytherin or the gentler loyalty of Hufflepuff.

Your movie

Your song
The song that best suits James is Live Forever by Oasis. He is an absolutely devoted Oasis fan, constantly tweeting about them and their reunion, from the build-up to the Rose Bowl shows to saying things like “You and I are gonna LIVE FOREVER” and “I can’t believe that over 25 years of being a MASSIVE MASSIVE Oasis fan, II can finally say I’m seeing them live!!”. The track’s themes of defiance, longing for something more, and wanting to make the most of life fit his mix of cynicism and hope: he vents about work and life, saying “Nothing makes you realize how much you hate your job more like coming back from vacation.” and “Some days are better than others but one bad day at work and I’m mentally not there for 24 48 hrs.”. At the same time, his bio, “I am a crease in the shirt that this world wears Coming in a mess, going out in style,” perfectly echoes the scruffy, stubborn optimism at the heart of Live Forever. The song captures both his frustration with the world and his determination to still find meaning and joy in music, football, and the things he loves.

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James__Nelson
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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