Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Sex-positive: Openly celebrates desire and pleasure, like wanting to 'get bit' in bio and posts such as “God I need to fuck someone’s wife” and “Yall….. cumming? Have y’all heard of this shit?”.
- Playful-flirty: Uses humor and cheeky flirting to connect, e.g. “TO BE CLEAR, my dms will always be open to pretty girls drooling over me” and “It’s my dream to distract a girl while she’s playing video games. Ya you’re not so good when your six inches deep in my throat huh?”.
- Community-oriented: Actively uplifts and seeks out other queer/trans people, e.g. “The legion of trans women that follow me on this app shall continue to grow”, “ladies pls follow her she’s amazing n hot n pretty”, and asking about the Vegas queer scene here.
- Emotionally-expressive: Open about feelings and longing, like “Am I sneaking away from work to yearn in the car” and “I’m feeling more in love with her today, dammit”.
- Kink-self-aware: Understands and articulates complex kink dynamics (pet play, mommy/dom shifts, wrestling), e.g. “It took being with someone who’s very not into pet stuff to realize how much I’m into pet stuff” and “I think I’m becoming a dog trainer, it turns me on so much to be puppy one moment, then owner the next”.
Weaknesses:
- Hypersexualposting: Timeline is dominated by explicit sexual content (throat fucking, getting pregnant, spit roasting), e.g. “I just can’t help fucking throats, like what else are they for?” and “I need to get spit roasted by two beautiful women. Just saying”, which can limit broader connection.
- Impulsivity-online: Posts intense, raw thoughts immediately (horniness at work, violent fantasies, death/body list) like “Being at work turns me on so much, I’m just sitting there all day needed to do something with my body” and “do not Fuckin embalm me… secret short list of women who have access to my dead body”, which can read unfiltered and risky.
- Boundary-blurring: Often mixes personal, emotional, and explicit content directed at a broad audience, e.g. inviting strangers into very specific fantasies “I need someone under my desk rn” and “Need to throat fuck someone so badly”, which may pressure or overwhelm some followers.
- Validation-seeking: Ties posting and sexual content to follower milestones and external attention, e.g. “Okay I’m 3 away from 200, at 200 the soapy tiddy picks drop. Make it happen girls” and “I do wonder how many have touched themself to me”.
- Work-horniness-conflict: Frequently mentions being too horny to focus on work, such as “Please I am way too horny to be working today, this sucks” and “Being at work turns me on so much, I’m just sitting there all day needed to do something with my body”, suggesting difficulty compartmentalizing.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
This user most closely matches Bart Simpson: chaotic, horny, and constantly pushing boundaries for attention and fun. Like Bart, she mixes genuine feeling with over-the-top mischief, veering from raw desire in posts like “I need to throat fuck someone so badly” and “I just can’t help fucking throats, like what else are they for?” to almost sweet romantic fixation in “I’m feeling more in love with her today, dammit”. Bart’s rebellious streak and love of being provocative mirror her delight in shocking, horny comedy, for example “Yeah I’m a leftist. Cumming on her left tit” and “God I was put on this earth to fuck women”. At the same time, she cultivates a small but loyal following—her “legion/harem of trans women” in “someday we will have a nice big orgy of love”—much like Bart’s knack for attracting a crew around his antics. The mix of bratty sexual chaos, attention-seeking performance, and flashes of real affection lines up better with Bart than with any of the more earnest or responsible Simpsons characters.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They show strong Extraverted energy: their bio invites strangers in (“dms open for pretty girls”), and many tweets openly seek attention and interaction, like “TO BE CLEAR, my dms will always be open to pretty girls drooling over me” and “Always love more girls on da page”. Their focus is more on Intuition than Sensing: they lean into fantasy, emotion, and big-picture vibes (e.g. “You ever been so badly down that she makes you want to write erotica?” and the surreal after-death options in “do not Fuckin embalm me… whalefall… tree… secret short list of women who have access to my dead body”) rather than concrete, practical detail. Their decision-making is clearly Feeling-driven: they foreground desire, affection, and emotional intensity, as in “I’m feeling more in love with her today, dammit” and the mix of kink with relational devotion in “Y’all @Edible_Eden rocked my shit last night… you WILL become mommy. Good pup tho ♥️”. Finally, they are highly Perceiving: impulsive, spontaneous, and flexible—constantly expressing in-the-moment horniness or mood (“Being at work turns me on so much, I’m just sitting there all day needed to do something with my body”; “Am I sneaking away from work to a) yearn in the car b) get horny in the car c) cry in the car”) rather than structured planning. The blend of outgoing, attention-seeking sensuality, imaginative kink, emotional intensity, and spontaneity aligns best with ENFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- So, important science question: if we wrestle and I manage to pin you (ref: 2024-08-08), do I earn the right to be the girl who ‘fixes’ you by making you kiss her boot (2024-03-11), or is that like a second-date perk?
- You said you were put on this earth to fuck women (2024-07-10) and also that you need someone’s wife, specifically (2024-08-15). I’m just trying to figure out if I should show up as ‘local dyke,’ ‘future wife,’ or ‘boss who keeps you too horny at work’ (2024-06-27).
- You’re out here daydreaming about serving a girl until mascara runs (2024-01-18) and needing to throat fuck someone so badly (2024-11-05); I’m just saying, I own boots, wear good lipstick, and I’m very distractible while gaming—seems like we’re cosmically aligned.
- You joked about a secret short list of women who get access to your dead body (2024-03-08), which is wildly metal—but what do I have to do to get on the much more urgent list of girls who get to grope you while you cook for them (2024-03-06)?
- You cried to a song about smelling armpits (2024-02-13), get horny at Austin Butler killing women in Dune (2024-03-15), and think TNG is the GOAT (2024-03-14). As a fellow disaster with niche kinks and good taste, may I humbly apply to join the ‘legion/harem of trans women’ you dream of having an orgy of love with (2024-02-14)?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Trans femme, part-time throat poet, full-time women enjoyer. Once cried at Dune, then wrote a sex essay about it. Here for art, kink, and kind chaos.– @janelanval
Your signature cocktail
The Horny Anarchist Dog Trainer
This drink hits like overproof dark rum because they’re high-intensity, unapologetically sexual, and convinced they were “put on this earth to fuck women” as in “God I was put on this earth to fuck women”. The spiced hibiscus-honey syrup is sweet but slightly chaotic, echoing their sapphic thirst and open DMs in “TO BE CLEAR, my dms will always be open to pretty girls drooling over me”. Fresh grapefruit juice brings a sharp, bright bite for their bratty, switchy energy in “What is it when you want to be called mommy and then the next day call her mommy?”. A dash of smoked chili bitters represents the kink and aggression of wanting to wrestle and own or be owned in “if you can pin me down, you can fuck my brains out, otherwise your ass belongs to me”. Finally, the prosecco topper is the fizzy, delirious afterglow of “greatest lovemaking” swagger in “Just had the greatest lovemaking of my life? Better dress like Bruce Springsteen to show her how happy I am”, and the joyful chaos of their “legion/harem of trans women” in “someday we will have a nice big orgy of love”.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
Jane reads as overwhelmingly Gryffindor because of how loudly and unapologetically she throws herself into desire, politics, and kink in public. Her bio alone – “just wanna get bit… dms open for pretty girls” – and tweets like “God I was put on this earth to fuck women” and “I need to get spit roasted by two beautiful women. Just saying” show a bold, performative bravado that aligns with Gryffindor’s impulsive courage and appetite for experience. She also openly links her sexuality to her politics and identity, as in “Not gonna make my slut a account a anarchist slut account but this thread is very real” and “When people ask why I’m an anarchist, I usually talk about why this system of tools and beliefs best fits me and my goals but another huge reason is the legacy of anarchists throughout history”, which reads as someone willing to publicly stand up for her beliefs. Her delight in roughness and risk – “Why do all the girls I want to be with want me to punch them so bad, is this gods burden on a blessed soul?” and “Okay but the hottest thing in the world is wrestling, fuck feeling like a top or bottom, if you can pin me down, you can fuck my brains out, otherwise your ass belongs to me” – has the classic Gryffindor love of danger and intensity. While there are flashes of Hufflepuff-ish community affection in “I love my legion/harem of trans women… someday we will have a nice big orgy of love”, the dominant throughline is fearless, sometimes reckless, loud-hearted passion, which is quintessentially Gryffindor rather than the steadier loyalty of Hufflepuff or the calculated ambition of Slytherin.
Your movie
Your song
Girls Just Want to Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper
Cyndi Lauper’s Girls Just Want to Have Fun fits Jane because so much of her online persona is about unapologetically chasing pleasure, desire, and queer joy. Her bio, “just wanna get bit. 🏳️⚧️ she/her dms open for pretty girls,” sets a flirty and playful tone that echoes the song’s celebration of women wanting joy on their own terms. Tweets like “TO BE CLEAR, my dms will always be open to pretty girls drooling over me” and “The legion of trans women that follow me on this app shall continue to grow” show her reveling in attention and community the way Lauper revels in late-night fun. Her constant, humor-laced horniness — for example “God I was put on this earth to fuck women” and “I need to get spit roasted by two beautiful women. Just saying” — mirrors the song’s defiant, joyful refusal to be ashamed of wanting more out of life. And the way she centers other women and trans girls, like “I love my legion/harem of trans women… someday we will have a nice big orgy of love”, turns the song’s “girls” into exactly her kind of queer, chaotic, loving girlhood.
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