Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Caring friend: Waits up in case roommate needs a ride in “When my roommates boyfriend picks her up I wait until she gets back to go to sleep…” and sends a friend help despite the ‘don’t tell anyone’ in “Friend called me feeling suicidal…”.
- Thoughtful partner: Plans cute, supportive things with/for boyfriend like the oven memorial in “For valentines day, my boyfriend is coming over to help me film a memorial video for my broken 50's oven” and brings brownies to his expo in “Causing chaos at the engineering expo by bringing my boyfriend brownies”.
- Domestic creative: Enjoys cooking and baking elaborately, like making tomato soup from scratch despite frozen meals in “I bought a bunch of premade frozen stuff… but I am still making tomato soup from scratch” and constantly making pies for others in “Why did I make a girl a pie and deliver it to her house because she was crying…”.
- Community-minded: Acts like a self-described mandated reporter for friends’ safety in “Morally, I am a mandated reporter for my irls.” and donates blood partly to be with loved ones in “Donating blood because my wife will be there and I can get matching shirts with my mom”.
- Humorous observer: Turns everyday oddities into jokes, like the NFPA handbook ‘second bible’ in “I’m like a mormon in the sense that I have two bibles but my second is the NFPA handbook” and the Pork Council bit in “The Pork Council is PROPAGANDA”.
Weaknesses:
- Overcommitted helper: Overextends for others, like arriving 30 minutes early to help her aunt in “my aunt asked me to pick her up… now I'm here 30 minutes early” and baking pies for distant acquaintances in “Why did I make a girl a pie and deliver it to her house because she was crying on her instagram??”.
- Sleep-neglectful: Admits being far past prescribed bedtime in “Thinking 'wow I feel awful' then checking the clock and realizing I am so far past my prescribed bedtime” and struggles to avoid long naps in “Trying to not take a 3 hour nap today…”.
- Boundary-blurring: Shows up unannounced and demanding a meal in “I love showing up to the house unannounced then barging inside… immediately asking for a hot fresh meal” and casually jokes about walking into bf’s life patterns like living together in “I didn't think i really lived with my bf but i realize i was wrong…”.
- Health-neglectful: Describes ‘throw up hungry’ from not eating then chugging water in “Creating the term 'throw up hungry': which is where I don't eat for a while and then I drink a lot of water… but I always just throw up” and needs puke bags for frequent sudden vomiting in “Buying puke bags online so hopefully I feel less embarrassed… when I throw up suddenly in public places!”.
- Impulsive sharer: Posts very personal, intense thoughts as jokes, like the placenta cooking question in “Can i sear my placenta after or do I have to eat it raw?” and signing an email with ‘I love you’ in “Just signed off my first email ever with 'I love you'”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
They read as a very Lisa-coded person: studious, conscientious, and a little neurotic but with a big heart. They’re clearly in college and academically inclined, like when they mention “quoting the '79 IBM training manual during a class discussion over online psychotherapy” and “When I'm late to class but the professor is later”. There’s a strong moral streak and sense of responsibility, shown in “Morally, I am a mandated reporter for my irls.” and in quietly looking out for people, like “I wait until she gets back to go to sleep incase she needs me to pick her up (she has never needed me to)”. At the same time they’re emotionally intense and earnest to the point of awkwardness, as with “Just signed off my first email ever with 'I love you'” and overthinking social situations like “texting my roommates about requesting a sleepover… is more stressful than asking my parents ever was”. The mix of intellectualism, anxiety, idealism, and strong family/relationship bonds maps most closely onto Lisa rather than the more chaotic or apathetic Simpsons characters.
Your MBTI personality Type
ESFP
They lean Extraverted: they constantly reference other people and shared experiences, like bringing brownies to her boyfriend’s engineering expo to ‘cause chaos’ “Causing chaos at the engineering expo by bringing my boyfriend brownies”, and joyfully narrating social dynamics with roommates, family, and her boyfriend “Texting my roommates about requesting a sleepover (its required in the lease) a month in advance is more stressful than asking my parents ever was 😭”. Their focus is strongly Sensing: tweets revolve around food, objects, bodily sensations, and concrete tasks, such as obsessing over specific meals “One 4.5 bev, cheddar biscuit, coconut curry stew” and practical domestic details like her 1950s oven and door jamb repair “Anyways wacking it with a hammer will surely fix it”. They clearly favor Feeling over thinking: their decisions center on care, relationships, and emotional vibes, like waiting up in case her roommate needs a ride even though she never has “I wait until she gets back to go to sleep incase she needs me to pick her up (she has never needed me to)” and breaking boundaries to keep a suicidal friend safe “Morally, I am a mandated reporter for my irls.”. Finally, they read as Perceiving: they’re spontaneous and flexible—driving an hour home mid‑semester on a whim “I drove over an hour to interrupt my parents dinner at a restaurant”, starting Halloween costume prep early simply because it’s fun “I have started getting my halloween costume ready”, and making pies impulsively for crying girls on Instagram and random organizers “Why did I make a girl a pie and deliver it to her house because she was crying on her instagram??”. Altogether, this blend of outgoing, sensory‑rich, emotionally driven, and spontaneous behavior best fits ESFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- If your 1950s oven is broken, you can still come over and preheat my heart to 350 while we film its memorial and bake a pity pie about it.
- You waiting up in case your roommate ever needs a ride home makes me think… if we go out, I’m texting you ‘I wanna go home :(’ just so I have an excuse to end the night holding your hand in the car.
- You make pies for crying Instagram girls and brownies for your boyfriend at the engineering expo; I don’t need a love letter signed ‘I love you’—I just need to be the next person you overfeed.
- You saying you want a pool instead of kids is perfect, because I was kind of hoping we could be the couple who spends tomato season floating in our backyard pool debating the Pork Council’s propaganda.
- You drove over an hour to crash your parents’ dinner and once walked to IHOP because everyone thought someone else was picking you up—how about next time we skip the confusion and I just take you out on purpose?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
College kid, chronic pie-baker, tomato evangelist, and part-time 1950s oven wrangler. Once signed an email ‘I love you’ by accident and kept it.– @jargon_co
Your signature cocktail
Feelin’ Butter Tomato Field Fizz
Tomato-infused gin honors their eternal tomato arc and chaotic domesticity, from “I will be a tomato field” to plotting a memorial for the “broken 50's oven”. Brown butter honey syrup nods to the bio “feelin butter” and the way they cook/bake through life crises, like making pies for crying strangers in “Why did I make a girl a pie and deliver it to her house because she was crying on her instagram??”. Frozen‑yogurt‑washed lemon juice captures their bright, slightly tart craving energy from “I need frozen yogurt so bad” and “I LOVE A FROZEN YOGURT SHOP”. A diet cola reduction brings in their love of diet soda as a vehicle for chaos in “Drinking diet soda so i can my sugar intake the right way (pound of crunchy fruit candy)” and the lunch of “fresh salmon patties with barbecue sauce and a diet coke”. The sea salt & black pepper rim reflects how they quietly take care of people—waiting up for roommates in “I wait until she gets back to go to sleep incase she needs me to pick her up”—while still having that slightly spicy, mandated-reporter moral backbone from “Morally, I am a mandated reporter for my irls.”.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
Their strongest throughline is loyalty, caretaking, and quiet reliability, which are classic Hufflepuff traits. They routinely go out of their way for others with no expectation of reward: waiting up in case a roommate needs a ride even though she never has (“When my roommates boyfriend picks her up I wait until she gets back to go to sleep incase she needs me to pick her up (she has never needed me to)”), making pies for crying acquaintances and even a concert organizer just because they’re upset or kind (“Why did I make a girl a pie and deliver it to her house because she was crying on her instagram?? Why did I make a pie for the organizer of a concert?? I've made so many recently!!??”). They show a strong moral sense of responsibility to friends, describing themselves as a "mandated reporter" when someone is suicidal and acting on that even when asked not to (“Friend called me feeling suicidal and then is like 'please dont tell anyone' ... Morally, I am a mandated reporter for my irls.”). Their joy in small, homey comforts—cooking, baking, hosting sleepovers, making their boyfriend’s shower “jungle themed,” and lovingly using a 1950s oven—emphasizes a grounded, domestic, and nurturing personality (“I have a problem rn where my response to anything is just 'yeah I'll make a pie for that'”, “Found out the house i'm moving into rn has a 1950s oven!! I am excited and scared”). While they’re witty and a bit impulsive, those traits are secondary to their consistent pattern of kindness, supportiveness, and sticking by their people—making Hufflepuff the best fit.
Your movie
Your song
Paper Rings - Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift’s Paper Rings fits them because it’s playful, chaotic-in-a-cute-way, and very domestic-romantic, just like filming a memorial video for a vintage appliance with their boyfriend (“my boyfriend is coming over to help me film a memorial video for my broken 50's oven”). The song is about loving someone so much you’d happily lean into the small, weird, everyday moments, which matches things like “Causing chaos at the engineering expo by bringing my boyfriend brownies” and “showing up to the house unannounced then barging inside, waking him up… and immediately asking for a hot fresh meal and i got it!”. Their life is full of cozy, slightly feral domesticity and caretaking—waiting up in case a roommate needs a ride (“maybe I am crazy”) or making pies for crying strangers online (“Why did I make a girl a pie and deliver it to her house because she was crying on her instagram??”)—which mirrors the song’s theme of turning ordinary acts into expressions of love. Even their jokey intensity about relationships (“Just signed off my first email ever with 'I love you'”) lines up with the song’s enthusiastic, all‑in emotional tone. Overall, Paper Rings captures their mix of romance, humor, homey chaos, and sincere affection.
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