Jawsofdollars
City:
Job:
In a relationship:
Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Creative: Posts imaginative concepts like "cosmic ouroboros" and "fake queen to king of pirates pipeline"
- Humorous: Uses dark humor in lines such as "these bitches so hot i gotta kill myself"
- Expressive: Shares personal feelings openly, e.g., "i feel broken" and "i have the hiccups"
- Self-aware: Acknowledges personal struggles, e.g., difficulty fixing sleep schedule and fear of leaving the room
- Independent: States strong personal stance like "MAGA & zoos fuck off" and "Customized, not broken"
Weaknesses:
- Self-harm ideation: Mentions wanting a knife to the throat and suicidal thoughts
- Substance misuse: References whiskey, weed, cigarettes, and urges to quit smoking
- Impulsivity: Posts erratic statements like "just did my injection... become a giant monster"
- Social withdrawal: Expresses fear of leaving the room and missing friends
- Mood instability: Fluctuates between confidence and despair, e.g., "i am undefeated" vs "i feel broken"
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
The user’s chaotic, anti‑authority vibe matches Bart’s rebellious nature, as seen in tweets like 'why does everyone usually sit on the left side of the bus?' and 'the bus smells like modeling clay'. Their disdain for mainstream politics ('MAGA & zoos fuck off') reflects Bart’s tendency to mock adult conventions. The self‑destructive and impulsive statements such as 'i need a gun' and 'i need a knee between my legs and a knife to my throat' echo Bart’s frequent reckless behavior. Their non‑conforming identity and odd humor ('i talk to the neighbors ducks through my window') align with Bart’s quirky, non‑conforming personality. Overall, the blend of mischief, nihilistic humor, and an outsider stance fits Bart Simpson best.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
The account shows strong introverted tendencies, often focusing on internal states and avoiding social interaction, as seen in the tweet 'i don’t know what has happened to me i used to be outgoing and it was easy to talk to people but now i am too afraid to leave my room'. Their language is highly imaginative and symbolic, favoring abstract concepts like 'cosmic ouroboros' and 'the fake queen to king of pirates pipeline is real', indicating a preference for intuition over concrete sensing. Decision‑making appears driven by personal values and emotions, evident in statements such as 'i feel broken', 'i miss my friends', and the anti‑zoos stance in the bio, reflecting a feeling orientation. Finally, the chaotic, spontaneous posting style—e.g., 'i haven’t shaved in 3 months' and 'i need a gun'—suggests a perceiving rather than judging approach. Together these traits align best with the INFP personality type.
Some pickup lines for you
- I saw you whisper to the neighbor’s ducks and claim you need a chew toy—how about we trade a duck‑watching session for a cuddle, and I bring the puppy‑doggy vibes to keep the quacks jealous?
- Your upcoming monster transformation after the injection sounds epic—let’s pair it with a shot of whiskey and a bass line so heavy it could shake the city while we chase down a few cars together.
- If the M‑16’s elegance makes your heart race, I’d love to serenade you with some blues on a vintage vinyl while we share a burger, no actual guns required—just the fire of good music.
- You say you see stars when you close your eyes—maybe we could make our own constellation, set to the rhythm of the bass, and let the cosmic ouroboros keep us looping back to each other.
- Born to chill but forced to tweak? Let’s channel that energy into a night of Portland rain, a whiskey‑and‑weed combo, and a flirtatious battle of aesthetics—who can look cooler while the blues play?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
24 | Oregon creator & meme curator | I once joked I'd become a car-eating monster after a shot—still just love dogs, blues & art. Trans, proud, curious.– @Jawsofdollars
Your signature cocktail
Neon Ouroboros
The Neon Ouroboros blends smoky whiskey with the electric hue of blue curaçao, echoing Jawsofdollars' claim that "i love the blues" and their self‑described “Customised, not broken” vibe. A dash of absinthe adds a chaotic, almost hallucinogenic edge, recalling the tweet "just did my injection soon i will become a giant monster that eats cars". The fizz of ginger beer gives the drink a restless energy, much like the line "the bass is my friend", while edible silver glitter swirls like the "cosmic ouroboros" they mentioned, representing an endless cycle of self‑destruction and rebirth. The garnish of a tiny M‑16‑shaped candy nods to their "M 16 has status, elegance and presence" statement and the underlying desire for a gun. Together, the cocktail captures their blend of darkness, humor, and an unapologetic embrace of the absurd.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
The user shows traits of ambition, self‑preservation and a desire for power, which align with Slytherin. They frequently discuss acquiring weapons and status, as in the tweet "when i get a new job am gonna get a gun, fix my car and buy a nice burger" and "the M 16 has status, elegance and presence the modern AR is a slop weapon." Their defiant, anti‑establishment attitude appears in lines like "MAGA & zoos fuck off" and "war should be fought over aesthetics," reflecting Slytherin's cunning and willingness to bend rules. While occasional hints of loyalty or bravery appear, the dominant pattern is a focus on personal power and resourcefulness, typical of Slytherins.
Your movie
Your song
Hurt - Nine Inch Nails
The song "Hurt" captures the raw, self‑destructive introspection evident in Jawsofdollars’ timeline. Their tweet 'i feel broken [picture]' and 'i need a knee between my legs and a knife to my throat [picture]' echo the lyric 'I hurt myself today / To see if I still feel.' The recurring themes of isolation ('i don’t know what has happened to me ... now i am too afraid to leave my room') and hopelessness ('i can’t kill myself unless it would be objectively hilarious …') match the song’s mournful refrain 'What have I become? My sweetest friend, the pain.' Even the mention of 'the bass is my friend' and 'i love the blues' fits the song’s somber, blues‑inflected mood that Johnny Cash’s cover turned into a haunting anthem for broken souls.
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