Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Creative dedication: Spends hours rendering art and “hacking away at the code” to port game mods between platforms.
- Fandom loyalty: Values preservation, praising those who “order manga and doujinshi, scan them, and translate them” to keep art alive.
- Artistic humility: Constantly seeks growth, realizing he needs to “slow down” for smoother lines rather than rushing.
- Protective community-builder: Appreciates spaces where “minors are kicked out” to maintain an adult-only creative environment.
- Romantic idealism: Critiques fanfiction for lacking depth, arguing that “simple sex is not love”.
Weaknesses:
- Severe self-deprecation: Harshly judges his own appearance, describing himself as “hideously ugly” when trying on clothes.
- Aggressive communication: Frequently uses hostile language, telling others to “go f*** yourself” or “shut up”.
- Low stress tolerance: Admits that a “bad mood” or daily frustrations make him feel like he is “working in hell”.
- Social cynicism: Expresses deep frustration with gift-giving, stating he “hates everything” about the process of selecting or receiving them.
- Emotional volatility: Often tweets about “crying” or being on the verge of “giving up” on his hobbies due to frustration.
Your Simpsons character
Comic Book Guy (Jeff Albertson)
Jesse mirrors Comic Book Guy’s hyper-critical, fandom-centric worldview, often adopting a cynical and elite persona as a “ментор кринжа, сомелье всратости” (mentor of cringe, sommelier of absurdity). Much like the iconic shopkeeper, Jesse expresses extreme frustration with media changes and poor writing, notably stating, “I hate everyone involved in the Penacony retcon” and dismissing AI or bad takes as “slop”. Both share a prickly exterior regarding their hobbies, with Jesse frequently insulting others' lack of lore knowledge or common sense, such as telling users they behave “like it's your first day on Twitter”. Ultimately, Jesse’s life revolves around the intense curation of niche interests and a deep-seated disdain for the 'normie' or 'anti' crowds that infringe upon his specific fandom spaces.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
Jesse exhibits strong Introversion (I), frequently discussing solitary struggles with art and feelings of social exhaustion, such as when they noted “I'm not ashamed to admit it” regarding fictional fixations rather than real-world social life. Their Intuition (N) is evident in their deep focus on complex fictional lore and AU (Alternate Universe) concepts, specifically their “idea for an art with Mother Goose” that stems from internal imagination rather than concrete reality. The Feeling (F) preference is dominant, as seen in their highly emotional reactions to media and intense personal values regarding art preservation, declaring “Art must be preserved” while frequently expressing frustration based on personal moral stances. Finally, their Perceiving (P) nature shows through a spontaneous, often chaotic lifestyle, admitting “the level of my laziness is soaring to the heavens” and struggling with the structure of finishing complex artistic tasks.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a Degrees of Lewdity save file? Because I’ve been trying to articulate my frustration for hours, but I’d still spend 300+ days exploring your lore.
- I may not be Gwylan, but I’d happily spend all day wiggling my ass in the forest if it meant you’d draw a triquetra on me.
- Is your name Song of the Seagull? Because even if I don't understand a thing about what's happening, I already want to unwrap your golden thread.
- You can stop cursing at Hoyo for ruining the lore—I promise my character development is 100% faithful to the original and I'll never be a feathered asshole like Sunday.
- I know you hate gifts, so how about instead of a present, I just bring over a bottle of the world’s best pomegranate wine and we can complain about the internet being jammed?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
30-year-old artist and lore enthusiast. Once survived a Russian winter by hacking game code with frozen hands. Sharing digital art and deep dives into storytelling.– @jessevanderbilt
Your signature cocktail
The Sommelier’s Salty Seagull
This experimental concoction starts with “pomegranate wine (the best the world has ever invented)” to match Jesse's frequent mentions of enjoying a drink to cope with life's frustrations. The vodka represents the biting Russian winter where Jesse's “hands are freezing” and the “internet is being cut off,” while a sharp salt rim embodies their 'proship' stance and tendency to tell critics to “go f*** yourself.” Finally, the rose petal garnish references their “most classic hanahaki AU ever” and the deep lore of a world they call the “Song of Seagull.”
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Jesse exhibits a strong Slytherin streak, characterized by intense self-preservation, a blunt disregard for societal 'politeness,' and a fierce loyalty to their chosen circle. They prioritize personal comfort and creative freedom, stating “I can't move to bsky bc it bans lolisho. That's all.”, showing a commitment to their niche interests over conforming to platform norms. Their resourcefulness is evident in their technical persistence, boasting, “I was using TWO VPNs and hacking away at the code... I then ported it all from the android mod to the PC mod and back”. Furthermore, their disdain for perceived 'heroic' or moralizing outsiders is clear when they tell critics to “Go fuck yourself, 15-year-old Da Vinci from the internet, go fuck yourself.”. This combination of technical ambition, a 'us vs. them' mentality regarding 'antis,' and a focus on maintaining their own boundaries defines a quintessential Slytherin.
Your movie
Your song
I'm Not Okay (I Promise) - My Chemical Romance
Jesse’s digital presence radiates a mix of high-intensity fandom passion and deep personal exhaustion, embodied by the quote “Скажите мне что нибудь хорошее, пожалуйста т_т”. Their frequent outbursts of frustration regarding art, technical difficulties, and social interactions mirror the anthem's themes of emotional volatility and feeling like an outsider, seen when they admit, “I'm not ashamed to admit it. It was me.”. The song’s focus on complex interpersonal dynamics and rejecting mainstream norms aligns with Jesse’s proud stance as a proshipper and their observation that “radfems have become too comfortable in fandoms”. Ultimately, the track captures the cringe mentor and sommelier of trashiness energy they embrace in their bio while navigating a life where “уровень моей лени стремится в небеса”.
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